paper planes

the view from my classroom window.  it's finally gotten to me {the snow, that is}.  I am usually okay in the winter with the bitter cold, the snow, the super-duper short days.  but now I'm done.  it could be the major spin out I had on my way to work this morning.  a full 360 that nicked oncoming traffic.  I didn't hit anything, but I cried.  it could be that the snow just keeps falling and falling and falling.  two entire weekends of this.  I don't want to drive anywhere.  I don't want to leave my house.  I don't want to move.  I have no motivation to do anything at this point.  this is foreign to me.  I know this is a combination of not enough snow and general driving/road issues.  BUT STILL!  the sun is suppose to shine tomorrow.  we'll see.

and in other news...
I am hesitant to share this, mainly because I'm worried that I'll jinx something.  and mainly because my success with weight loss has been mediocre at best.  I have a bit of a fatalistic attitude towards this topic, mainly because although I've experienced some success {I lost around 20 lbs in 2009 and kept about 12 of it off my arse}, I spent almost all of 2010 not caring.  I didn't move and I didn't really take weight watchers very seriously.  so, coming into christmas, I found myself on the scale, not loving the number.  and I wasn't liking that my pants were just a wee bit too tight.  but my motivation has been at an all-time low, so I just haven't been able to conger up the energy to do a whole lot about it.  HOWEVER, I did read the Eat-Clean Diet book back in november, and I think I told you that my mom had bought me the cookbook for christmas.  I was trying before christmas to eliminate fake sugar from my diet and successfully weaned myself off of soda.

needless to say, about two weeks ago, I started to follow this way of eating {or tried!!} and made a few changes.  first, I've been cooking.  a lot.  and baking.  lots of muffins! and I've been trying to wean myself off of sugar.  and second, I am planning out my lunches.  I leave the house at 630 in the morning and often don't walk in the door until 5 pm.  planning all my meals and snacks is a bit CRAZY!  I invested in a freezable lunch kit {you put the lunch kit in the freezer and the ice packs in the walls of the lunch kit keep food cold for 8+ hours!  pack-it!} and have been packing it all with me!  I've not felt like I was being super successful {after week 1 the scale hadn't budged!!}, but there are some significant changes that are now beginning to happen.  I am reaching for sugar less and less.  I am still totally grabbing a small amount of my vegas m&ms after supper, but the handful is getting smaller.  I am eating more good-for-me food and less bad-for-me food.  my cravings are starting to go away.  and yesterday morning I got on the scale and I was down 6 lbs.  I still have another 8 lbs to go before I am at my lowest weight.  and really, 11 lbs off my biggest mental hurdle, but for the first time in a long time, I have some hope.  and some encouragement {via the scale!} that perhaps I can actually do this.

and maybe if the snow will stop, I could actually talk myself in to doing some moving...!!  okay, enough for today.

xoxo