the party is coming...are you?

okay, so it's not really big...so if you want a copy emailed to you, just email me! plus, I'm a bit annoyed that the photo moved over. at one time it was lined up on the LH side!!! oh well, first time "making" a poster, so whatev!

had a great yoga class yesterday, and hoping for another great one today - breathe, breathe, breathe! I'll let you know how it goes!

xoxo

have you noticed?

there haven't been any pictures lately! mmmm. I'll try to fix that this week, considering I took a ton at the zoo with the kids today. yes, the zoo was my exercise today. I figure that 2.5 HOURS of walking around the little valley zoo merits enough walking for the day. and since I am making the rules up for this challenge, I say that walking at the zoo counts!!! plus, by the time we got home, made & ate dinner, and got the kids off to bed, I was ZONKED. and yes, I am in bed as I type. the wonders of modern technology!!

perhaps I will post some old-ish pictures to keep you all entertained until tomorrow - I have had 2 days away from yoga and I am craving it. I can't wait until 3:30 rolls around tomorrow and I can just breathe. and push both my mind and body HARD. sad, I know.

yeah, can't post pics tonight - I keep getting knocked off the server [or something equally as crazy!]

it feels like sunday

but no, it's only saturday.

and this morning I was pretty pissed off when I stepped on the scale and saw that I was up 1.6 WTF? although I am currently having a moment of over indulgence, I went for a serious walk with my mom tonight [6.5 km] and she gave me some ideas on how to switch it up a bit. I think I was maybe counting yoga as more points than I should of...that is an easy change to make for next week. and I am going to only allow myself to have 4 points after supper next week. I am a bit of a point hoarder and I am using a lot of points with dinner and AFTER dinner. I can tweak that a bit. and then there is the salt. I don't think I am a big salt consumer, but I am going to make sure that my post-supper snacks are not high salt snacks.

friday's yoga was with intention - breathing. in through the nose, out through the nose. sounds really simple, but it's REALLY hard. I think the focus of my next few classes is going to be the breathing. it's SOOOOO hard! I did, however, buy myself [okay, so my mom bought me for my birthday!] a two month unlimited pass. I would love to practice four times a week over the summer. that is the plan!

gonna go chill with the j-man...have a great weekend!!!

Day 7 and already behind!

listening to the kinks - this time tomorrow. LOVE this song. "...this time tomorrow, where will be be? this time tomorrow, what will we see?"

so yesterday was a bust. in the exercise and parenting department - not in the "really nice visit with a friend and her kids" department. then 6:00 hit [après swimming lessons] and yeah. I am once again the president of the bad mom's club. I know you have all been there before, but last night I wore the crown! blah. I didn't exercise today [rain issues!] but I didn't drink either, so I am counting it as a success!! needless to say, I promptly went to bed to begin the day on a fresh note.

and fresh it was!! a 6 am bikram class. my goal today had been to do every pose at least once. fought through the dizziness and totally reached my goal. there were poses I had NEVER done [balancing stick and rabbit!] and today I did them. WOOHOO! and since today is my birthday, I have a 10 am appointment with my guy at the apple store, then a pedi, then swimming lessons, then dinner with my sweet husband at dadeo's [sans kids...they are having a sleep over at grandma's!! man, I'm spoiled!].

you have a good day too...I never blog this early, so I never get to say that! be good to yourself!

on yoga and coffee

so, I did it today. I braved the fears of the hot room and went to bikram this morning with allison. for all my panic and hot issues, it really wasn't that bad. okay, dripping sweat is never that attractive, but I wasn't wearing my date panties or anything like that. I am going to aim to go every day this week and use my $20 pass to it's fullness!! AND, since the studio is SO close to my house, I really have no excuses. I could walk there. okay, so I may faint on the way home, but you know what I mean!

John and I went for a 30 minute power walk last night. we dog-sat steph's dog over night and the boys had a sleep-over at auntie's house. a win-win!

AND, dear, sweet Kathy left me muffins in my mailbox on saturday night. they were WONDERFUL one-point muffins! and now I need the recipe!

back to yoga. LOL I have to say that I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. did it kick my ass? absolutely. it's a hard work out. I was reading on-line about calories burned doing bikram and I think that they guy saying that it wasn't a real workout has never been. [yes, someone said that!] I like a good ass-kicking. and I SO hope that this gets my weight loss kick started. I am committing this summer to my good health and I am off to a good start!

Day 2

walked to starbucks and back this afternoon - BEFORE the thunderstorms hit! 45 minutes at a 10 min/km pace - not too bad! and, in good news, I was down 1.2 today. 30 weeks and down [yes, I really want to use the word "just" here!] 19.6 lbs. that is an average of 0.65 lbs per week. not quite what I had been aiming for, but hey, it's definitely better than nothing [which is what would have happened, if I hadn't started this journey at all!]. if I can kick it up a notch, and make it to 1 lb a week, I could really be down 44.6 by the new year. THAT is a number I do like! BUT, since I often get ahead of myself, let's just aim to be down 1.4 this next week so that I can make the 10% mark. the ever elusive 10%. THEN, we [I] can focus on the next 10%.

okay, enough about that.

if you are not up for an exercise challenge, why not try a 30 day challenge of your own making? try changing just one habit. create a healthy habit. one thing, one month, one change.

as I was walking today, I was thinking that I am really going to aim to blog through this wee challenge of mine too. keep me accountable!

and kathy - YOU ARE NOT OLD!! [or matronly!!!!] not even CLOSE!

xoxo

holy bagina

okay, so I know you are all looking at my title saying "bag-ina" and thinking "HUH????". think no further. it rhymes with vagina. it's ty's new phrase - mainly because I say "holy dinah" a lot. he thinks it's funny. he's right. I have no good reason for using that as my title either - just feeling funny. LOL

so it's friday night. you'd think sitting down that I'd have something to blog about. as I sit here, nothing is coming to me. my life is rather dull when on summer vacation. no busy things. no real stress. so, I think I am going to invent some. for real.

I am going to invent for myself a 30 day challenge. kinda like a birthday-ish lent. no sunday's off. no easter at the end. no 40 days. just 30 days. it's my birthday in less that a week and at this time of year I begin to feel my age, just a bit. yes, I will be 37. THAT FREAKS ME OUT! funny enough though, a friend of mine said to me a couple of weeks ago - and perhaps as a put-down that I took as a complement - that I really like a 15 yr old in an adult body. he had a point. I don't really act my age, mainly because what does an almost [okay, like in 3 years] 40 year old act like??? and if you use icky words like: stuffy, matronly, grey, wrinkled, menopausal - I will scream in your face. let's be honest. I may have a few grey hairs lingering beneath all the dye jobs and I just may have some wrinkles because I kinda like to laugh and I may just be someone's mother, I am not really that old. yet. nor will I ever be. especially if stuffy is part of the definition. okay, sorry about my anti-aging rant. perhaps I protest too much!!!

the challenge - if you wish to participate with me - is such: I will exercise for at least 30 minutes for 30 days. starting today [yes, I walked 30 minutes tonight!] and ending on august 2nd. WHO IS WITH ME??? [oh, and there are rumours about starting hot yoga next week so I can get my ass kicked...let's see if I get up the nerve!!]

AND, tomorrow is weigh in day. LOVELY. last week, I was up 1.4. I'd better be down this week because this is driving me CRAZY!!!

so close

so tonight, unlike last night obviously, I feel like blogging! about what, I do not know...yet. maybe I'll do my list thingy - only it's not really mine, I borrowed the idea from sarah. she looks like she's a nice person, so I hope she doesn't mind.

1. there are 3 teaching days left in the school year. although I am extraordinarily exhausted and on the verge of a big sore throat, I am sad that this year is ending as I feel like it's been my best teaching year ever. I love my class. I loved my job assignment. it wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I connected with my kids in a way that I hadn't the year before. I learned a whole bunch about myself and both my abilities & inabilities and I am excited to try it all over again next year [only without the stress of the leadership course!].

2. there have been some staffing changes at my school. my good friend scott is moving [and taking his family] to germany to teach. scott is the reason I am in jr high and I am already feeling kinda sad about the whole thing. scott and allison are really great people and I'll miss them at all our little get-togethers. teaching across the hall from scotty has really been a ton of fun and he's helped me so much over the last two years. not to mention, he often shows up with coffee. a little sad, and perhaps a little jealous. happy however that yvonne is moving up.

3. get to go to the lake this weekend with some ladies that I hardly know. okay, bit of a lie. I know connie REALLY well and I know two of the other ladies kinda well and the others, well one I don't know at all. regardless, I am arming myself with THE killer margarita recipe. [THANKS, E!] all will be well.

4. I think I have swimming lessons [for kids, not me] every day in July. sheesh.

5. I am contemplating trying hot yoga [allison & michelle's fault] just because I need my arse kicked and I want to lose some serious INCHES over the summer. is it awful to do it just to shock people?

6. I was up .4 on sat. I am SO close to hitting my 10% goal. one pound away. I want the dumb keychain they give away.

7. I have been stamping up a storm this week - cards for everyone! I just need to make something nice for nate's teacher. I can do that. tomorrow, perhaps?

8. john and I started watching season 1 of arrested development last night. freaking hilarious.

9. my kids [nate & ty] are driving me NUTS! however, I have a plan. an elaborate plan that will begin when summer break begins. it's the anti-whining, anti-temper plan. it's just in its formation, so I'll let you know if it works!

10. there is no number ten. there rarely is. that's okay.

xoxo.

soon, I promise.

4 more days left. well, technically 6 but only 4 with kids. I will blog after the chaos is over. I promise!!

xoxo

thoughts on community

the whole process and thought on "community" intrigues me. and even more so today. not too sure what makes today any different, but as I was with the boys this morning, I felt connected to my community - my city - in a strange way. last night I did a stamping show with some parents from my school. similar experiences, different perspectives. it led me to a place in the conversation where I felt that I needed to put my money where my mouth was, sort a speak. there is a little girl in my school who is going through some really intense stuff and I discovered a way to reach out that really is of no cost to me, other than some time. in taking that step, and in making that offer, I was connected, in community to this family. today, I took the boys to the market. although I didn't see any of my friends, we bought cupcakes from seth's grandma [and were invited, yet again to izzy's birthday party!], we visited the honey lady, who told me she had meet up with my cousin earlier this week, we bought pasta from ernesto and I taught the boys how to put money in guitar cases of great musicians. although I don't know these people, I have shared experiences with them and therefore share community or experiences with them. driving back home, I was thinking about this, looking and being struck by how grateful that I live here in edmonton. I really do love this city and it's people. while thinking this I saw a couple of things. a group of hasidic jews walking home from synagogue. families playing in the park. neighbours talking and laughing with each other.

a few months ago dean spoke about a term: communitas. communitas is an intense community spirit, the feeling of great social equality, solidarity, and togetherness. it is also a bit more than this, but this is the piece of the definition that strikes a chord with me. I cannot live in isolation. I cannot raise my children in isolation. I cannot celebrate in isolation. I need my community. I need to create a spirit of communitas with my words and my actions and in how I treat the people in my community.

PHEW!

let's do this post in list form, just because there will be too much rambling!

1. vegas ROCKED. no seriously, I would never take my kids there [too much boobage], but it was really a good time, both personally and professionally.

2. I developed a new love for tequila. I had some SERIOUS tequila and it was ALL good.

3. I bought something at the coach store. no more mockery, no more chant of "c is for cori" because I have become one of them. a person that owns coach - not a bag, however, but a LOVELY pair of sunglasses. and CHEAP!

4. I got to see the fountains at the bellagio. just rather unfortunate [or perhaps fortunate!] that I was drunk or camera-less every time I was there, so iPhone pics were the best I could do.

5. I went for a weigh in last friday and I was down another pound for a total of -19

6. I bought drumsticks for ty at the house of blues. they are ACTUAL drumsticks and he LOVES them! [hence the picture above]

7. he [ty] will be four in one week. wow. my kids are getting old.

8. I really missed them on this trip. missed john even more. I have a great husband.

9. speaking of husband, he wants to see my pictures...gotta wrap up!

10. I work with some really great people. I am SOOOOOO thankful for that! They are wonderful to work with and wonderful to travel with.

it's been a hard day's night

sorry I've been a bad blogger.  all three of you have noticed, I'm sure.  I think I am going to "list" this post, since there are random things to share.

1.  today is the 20th anniversary of when my cousin Liz was killed in a car accident.  tonight, we met some family at her grave site and put fresh flowers there.  she was 17 when she was killed, I was 16.  we don't talk much about her when we have family get togethers, and I think that has been the thing we do - not talking about things that matter.  I am not sure how to change this when many people in my family are virtual strangers, so I'm going to have to think of something.  not something for them, but something for me to do to change how I feel.

2.  there are 4 more mondays left in this school year.  oh golly gee.  EEEKKKKKK!!!

3.  ty is completely potty trained.  now, how do I get him off the potty and on to the toilet?  he is NOT going to make friends in school if the only thing that fits in his backpack is the big ol' portable toilet.  UNCOOL.

4.  I like our neighbours.  this past weekend a bunch of the kids were in the ally, and playing in our backyard.  kinda like when I was a kid.  I like that.  I feel that in many neighbourhoods, we have lost the whole "front porch" mentality - knowing the people you live near and spending time getting to know them.  well, in parkview we do it the back ally way!  put signs up in the back way so that cars don't kill the kids and gather to tell our stories over our short, and in many cases, chain-linked fences.

5.  I was up .6 at WW on sat.  pms sucks.  that and crap food on the friday before weigh in.  today was also a crap food day, but I tracked all of it.  okay, almost all.  does anyone know that point value for a chicken mcgrill wrappy thingy?????

6.  Nate is kicking butt at soccer.  perhaps I am biased, but my kid has some skills. 

7.  this has been one of my best teaching years.  I love the kids in my home room.  I feel that I have been able to build relationships with them and laugh with them and just generally enjoy their teenager-ness.  I like that.

8.  there is no number 8 - nevermind.  there is.  I upgraded my computer.  now I am back to square one and can't figure out my email.  good thing I have my phone [it gets mail] and an appointment with a mac geek at the apple store on sunday.

9.  for real this time.  there is no 9.  'CAUSE 7 ate 9!!!  LOL

xoxo

-17 and counting...

so, it was a good week, on the ww front! -1.2 down today for a total of -17.4. not too shabby, considering the last few weeks have been CHAOS [especially on the whole school front!]. kids have been weird both at home and at school. the weather has been awful and I feel like I've been stuck in "going nowhere fast" mode. oh well, today was the encouragement I needed to get my arse in gear - in the movement department! maybe I am on the verge of being over the top of the hill, and trust me, coming down is always easier.

and in other news:

1. boys got new [to them] bikes today

2. john and I saw x-men: origins last night [me likey!!]

3. ty potty trained himself this week

4. I've done far too much laundry this week

5. I was reminded this week that too much coffee too late at night leads to sleepless nights

have a good weekend, folks!

the blues

I have the post-marathon blues. prior to the marathon I had a pretty set purpose for getting outside everyday. now, I am feeling less motivated. I didn't move on the scale this week and that has me even less motivated. I need a shot in the arse. the "motivation" shot.

and then I think back to the race. it's a bit like my weight loss journey, in a super metaphorical way! the first third of the race is pure adrenalin and excitement. surrounded by 7 000 or so racers all there for the same purpose. it is really exciting. this is the part of the race that goes through east vancouver [just in case you were wondering!] down east cordova. then you take some twists and turns and you enter the park. just then the cops come through on their bikes, leading the way for the top marathon runner to come through. it's like hearing other people's stories - totally encouraging. and then the hill comes. and trust me, it's hard and steep [800 m high] and totally brutal. I feel like this part of my journey is the hill. totally brutal to stay on track, totally needing the loud music and the cheers. in the park, however, there is no one. you are alone. and although I know I'm not alone, I feel that way. I know what my goal is and I know the route to get there, I just need to keep walking. keep going. keep persevering. I can make it to the end. I just need some cheers. [and I am off to bed - it's WAY too late!!]

the pic I promised

yeah. the lone marathon picture. LOVE!

PHEW!

so we did it. and we did it in our best time ever - 3 hours and 19 minutes. I am so thrilled that we did so well. climbing the hill was pretty hard...VERY HARD. coming down was a tad easier [always is] and the last 4k were - well they pretty much pushed me as hard as I'd ever been pushed. Rae & Mom were ahead of me and I wanted to keep up. it felt like they kept speeding up, so I just kept the pace. I had some pretty good music playing and it was all good! I have to say, it was all worth it. all the training. all the stuff that it is. next year, I really want to do it again, only minus nate on my back [or the 45 lbs that is nate!!!].

I'll post a picture or two in the next few days - for now, I'm off to bed!

and a tiny bit more...

well, .2 down is still down. for a total of -16.4. I am 3.6 off schedule, but hey, like my mom said today, steph's dog weighs 16 lbs. I am minus a sam. LOL

in other breaking news...

we walked 12k today. we leave for vancouver on friday night, shop on saturday and race on sunday. we don't fly home until monday, so that will be nice. my feet are pretty sore right now, so next week they are going to HURT!

I am off to the running room to get some new socks - just waiting for kids to walk in!! [oh, pic of the race route below!]

where were you tonight?

really, my blog should get a re-title: how cori likes to brag about her exercise. LOL it will subside, soon. okay, maybe not. but at least I'm not little-miss-hot-yoga. [HI ALLISON!!!] well, I guess if I could manage to string together 40 days of hot yoga and look like allison 2 weeks before my 40th birthday, I wouldn't be complaining at all.

enough about her. this is MY blog after all! so I braved the crazy drive down the block and went to lesley's class tonight. HOLY SMOKES. we did a considerable amount of upper body work. and abs. and lunges. mmmmm. I *heart* lunges. [okay, love is a strong word. I have come to sorta enjoy the first one.] and more importantly, we did far too many planks. damn plank. regardless, it will all lead to a little, tight body in a couple of decades or so [at the rate this body wants to drop fat].

AND, I've decided that I have a wee crush on my new mac [computer, not makeup] guy. he's cute. he's funny. and he's paid to spend an hour with me every couple of weeks. UNDIVIDED attention, with no kids in sight. and he laughs at my jokes [maybe he's paid to do that too!]. it's all good. I tell ya. george may have some competition. I don't get the impression that george will mind.

okay, so now I am rambling. I should post a picture. maybe it will be a random photo booth pic!!

xoxo!

a little bit less of me

well, this was a pay off week. not a huge loss, but 1.2 lbs down for a total loss of 16.2. I haven't had a loss week of over a pound since march 7th. that's well over a month. and over a month of intense frustration on my part. alas, I feel like I've turned a bit of a corner. could be that regardless of the scale, I know that all the exercise/training I'm doing is paying off. I did the stairs in the river valley twice this week with yvonne and I walked 16k this morning with my mom & rae. in two weeks we will be in vancouver, shopping and carb-ing up for the big race!! eeekkk! that's just crazy! then they [mom & rae] are talking about beginning to train for the edmonton marathon. we'll see. [we may be on vacation that week!] regardless, these last few weeks have taught me something new about myself: I can manage a stall. I can work through the pain and the tough plateaus and I can keep going. and, I can like exercise. at the 12k mark I wasn't liking it very much, but overall, my body craves it. I really hope that I have turned a new page in the book of my life.

badda bing, badda bang

MY BUM HURTS!

you heard me right. I am literally working my ass off. hehehe! so yvonne & I did the stairs in the river valley yesterday - THREE TIMES. yeah I was sucking wind BIG TIME the first time up. then we walked a bit and did it again. that wasn't happy either. then we did a longer walk - down and around the path and over the river and back and then back up again! the third time back up wasn't so bad. coming down is awful, but that's because I need to look at where I step and then I see the ground underneath, far underneath! not pretty. but, I did it and we're going again tomorrow after school to do it again! yippie! tonight I walked to starbucks and back - a whoppin' 5k. and that, my friends, is why I hurt!

and now for some easter love - easter pics of my sweet boys!!!

one more thing...

I was listening to the tim hughes version of this old hymn today [you can listen to it here...I am not a big fan of the visuals, but the audio alone is pretty good!!] - verse 4 sums up how I feel about easter...

"were the whole realm of nature mine,

that were a present far to small;

love so amazing, so divine.

demands my soul, my life, my all"

as a christ-follower, easter is a pretty big part of the christian calendar and something that is part of my tradition and our tradition as a family. so, if you too celebrate, have a blessed easter.

life in the fast lane

HOLY BUSY, BATMAN!!

going back to school after spring break for a 4-day week is always brutal!

however, it really has been a lovely weekend. thursday night I went for a walk [a FAST walk!] at the y and then to church for a couple of hours of music practice. friday morning we took the boys to church for the good friday service, went for a long walk with my mom & rae [9.5k], cleaned the house, did laundry, bought a few groceries, then had friends over to watch the season finale of friday night lights. a nice evening [even though I wasn't too happy with how it ended...!].

this morning I went to weight watchers and surprise, surprise, I was up .2 lbs. still at a total of -15, but this hovering is driving me NUTS! I talked to the meeting leader today about what I can do, and I have a few ideas. I'll let you know how it goes! when I got home, the boys and I painted some easter eggs. pretty low key egg fun! they are expecting me to hide eggs for tomorrow morning. grrr. this afternoon, I took the boys over to susan's house. the boys literally played for 3 hours. other than a slight mishap with some bubbles, we did not really hear from them the entire time! susan, alyssa & I played with some stampin' stuff. alyssa had stuff that I don't have and I brought some stuff for her to play with, so overall, a productive afternoon! when I got home with the kids, John took the kids to his mom's and I went for a 5k walk. my feet hurt. in three weeks, we'll be in vancouver prepping for the real deal, so we're on the tail end of it. PHEW.

okay, so I suppose you didn't need a total recap of my life. it really is rather boring. I had something else interesting to say, but once again, my brain isn't registering. LOL

have a wonderful easter...

xoxo

playing with some colour!

okay, so I sent Kristina a picture of Nate and she ended up using for her colour challenge! how fun. so, I have some time I am playing along with one of my fave colour combos!!



HOWEVER, my camera is still sitting in a safe, safe place and the bow won't let me scan, so I used the trusty iPhone to take this crap photo...SO SORRY!!



and in other news, I am down 1lb this week...THANK GOODNESS! after the week of intense exercise, I was honestly hoping for more, but hey, a pound is a pound is a pound. and more importantly, I feel better than I have in a long, long time. [other than too much dinner & wine tonight because it's out anniversary and I cooked john a kick-ass meal!!!!]
xoxo

days four and five

ahhhh. it's almost over and I have succeeded in not working and I feel rather rested. I had big plans to go into school, but that hasn't happened yet. maybe tomorrow.

okay, so I've had a strange occurrence. rumor had it that this could happen, but honestly, I though those people were nuts. totally crazy. so, as you know, I have been on a forced exercise regiment this week. since saturday I have logged 26k on my shoes this week. and I was planning to take today off - only, the strangest thing happened. I want to exercise today. I don't hurt today and I really want to exercise. I am craving it. how absolutely bizarre. so how will I solve this problem? well, I'll go to the y tonight and work out. and they open at 7am tomorrow, so I've been plotting how I can get up early and go before weight watchers. EEEEKKKK. all I can say is that all of this work had better pay off on the ol' scale tomorrow. grrrr.

off to finish watching tv with john - he 's not really watching, but who cares. LOL as long as his snoring doesn't get in the way, I really don't mind! [yes, he's home this afternoon!]

day three

I have officially logged in 4.5 hours of exercise this week [since saturday] and this 36 year old body is TIRED! I signed up for a two week trial session at the y today, so at least I have a place to walk while the snow is finding a home down the drains. my mom & I did 8k today, with a break half way through to do some serious stretching. tomorrow I am planning to go back and do a 30 minute session on the treadmill for some incline work. then friday is rest day. and some time this weekend I am going to have to do 10k. next week won't allow me to do this pace/amount every day, but I should be able to go to class [the same one I was at yesterday] on monday & wednesday and then my scheduled walks on tuesday, thursday and the weekend.

the thing I am struggling with is the whole points counting for activity. according to ww, I am not doing intensive exercise, but I know that I am definitely doing harder than moderate. today, I counted activity points half way between. BUT, then do I have to eat all 10 points? because I did, but not with heathy choices - that would have taken me forever! the 7 point cinnamon bun and the 4 point bag of easter chocolates was sure the easier way to go. however, then what's the point of exercising if it's just giving me permission to eat crap? so today I did it a bit differently. I counted the exercise as just 4 points, ate my extra 4 points and all the extras got counted in with my extra 35 point allowance [that I hardly ever use up]. is this wrong? I am SOOOOOO confused! I mean, I am still counting most everything and I am still exercising and I am still drinking a crumb load of water, so really, maybe I am doing it right? do I want to eat all those extra points? yup. however, I really want to eat them in junk food, not healthy food and then that's not quite as good.

okay, officially rambling. if anyone has an answer, let me know!

otherwise, my very sore arse & I are going to bed.

day two

well, glad to report that I went to torture class today and did two gym lengths [the short way] of lunges. did a plank or three. did squats and pushups. and I feel pretty darn good. I am thinking that for april I really need to hit lesley's class twice a week just to cross train.

tomorrow, I am meeting my mom to do a super long walk...takes the heat off for the weekend.

just thought I'd check in!!

xoxo

day one

man I got a lot done today. kids closets purged, some toys gone, dusting done and then the robot did his job. had a friend over for lunch. I walked to starbucks and back [5.2 km]. and that wee walk is the issue I am currently having.

MY LEGS HURT!! yeah, I was just blogging to complain. this whole exercise thing had better pay off. my goal is to walk or do some other form of vigorous exercise everyday this week. I started on saturday with 3k in less than 30 minutes [some of that was running]. yesterday it was an hour at the track with rae. and today. well, I think I need an advil!! all I can say is that this whole plan had better pay off. tomorrow it's off to a class in the morning. wednesday, another walk. thursday...well, maybe some damn lunges in the basement with some even more lovely squats and maybe a plank or two. blah. and it's suppose to snow again. wow. life in edmonton is GREAT!

24 is mere minutes away.

me & my ty

ty is such a wonderful kid. a kid that drives me around the bend, but his personality makes me laugh so hard. I don't always get a lot of alone time with him, mainly because nate demands so much of my attention...BUT, when I do get those few times, I so enjoy it. tonight, we took some pictures and recorded a video. enjoy!

oh, and in other news, I was up .6 this week. all this up and down business is driving me crazy. however, I have walked the last 2 days and am challenging myself to walk at least 30 minutes every day of spring break. I am going to work this a$$ off if it kills me. this way, if the scale doesn't move this week, the measuring tape sure will.

xoxo

a trip to the mall

okay, so that's not really out of the ordinary. actually stepping foot into sephora - okay, ordinary as well. I went in to get another of purity [see picture] - the BEST facial cleaner of all times and walked out with a bottle of THIS: the microdelivery exfoliating wash.

now, I use purity rather religiously. I love that it's fairly gentle on my skin and that it's shower worthy - I can just lather up my face in the shower, rinse and voila...clean face. lately, however, my increase of lines on my face has become rather, well, annoying. I know, I know, I am over 35, but if I don't begin to take care of my skin, it will just get nasty and pruny faster. let's not do THAT. this new stuff, well you are suppose to use it after purity, on a super clean face. it has little chunky/sandy things in it that do some sort of miracle. now maybe I was expecting less lines after the first usage, but I swear there were less. smooth, lovely, clean face. I like. I really like. in fact, I almost want to clean my face tonight. LOL that's right, I CAN! then, the lovely sephora lady answered my greasy face question/issue. people rant and rave about hope in a jar. I've had my jar for a while now and really, I hate it. turns out there's one for dry skin [with OIL in it] and one for regular skin [with NO OIL]. guess which one I own. yup. the dry skin one. I've been putting OIL on my skin. no wonder I have grease dripping from my head by 2pm almost every day. the lady gave me a sample of the regular people one and today, I loved. grrr. and the stuff is UBER expensive. oh well, I'll make my sample last.

oh, and on another note, I was down .2 this week. I need a big loss this week. I NEED IT!!! LOL

9 years ago

John and I hooked up, after a night of drinking, 9 years ago tonight. why does that seem like forever ago? and although we had a lot of crap to work through [mainly on my end, since I thought I was queen of the world, which hey, IS NOT true!], I am really glad that it happened the way it did and that we happened the way we did.

gotta love o'byrnes irish pub on st. patrick's day!

so, I didn't report in last saturday. mainly because I gained .8 which really is quite discouraging. although I totally know that there are good reasons [specifically starting the period from HELL the day before weigh in day], I still get a bit annoyed. however, I walked 7 km on saturday pm and I have plans to walk/run again tomorrow. and I have totally stayed within my points totals [okay, so I always stay within my points totals, but historically an off-week would really mean an off-week which would lead to quitting and then regaining all weight plus 10 lbs]. all that to say this: I AM NOT GIVING UP! I see myself as thin. I want this SOOOOOOOO badly. I will not take no for an answer to a body that is fighting me tooth and nail just because it's old and cranky. I was waiting for the day that exercise would be the key and this week, I believe it's the key that will make the difference. so, alas, this is the story and now I am off to bed, since it is WAY past my bed time and I have to show up and teach tomorrow!!

xoxo

the night - tonight

totally obscure non-meaningful title of nothingness. for real. don't read into it. LOL

I had opportunity to go and see paul young speak tonight. I blogged about "the shack" back in august or july [click here for a refresh!] and have subsequently lent my copies of the book out to many people. I tell ya. I am not often impressed by speakers. lately, I've been impressed by a couple. first, I think I told you that I got to meet romeo dallaire of "shake hands with the devil fame" and then I got to meet [and have my picture taken with!] erwin mcmanus. tonight, I got to be blown away by paul young. and as I stand here telling you about it, I don't have much to say - there is a lot swirling around in my head right now. but, I am impressed. I witnessed an example of humility and compassion that was not wrapped up in either perfection or insincerity, but in love and relationship with others and his creator. there are a lot of people I look up to in a lot of ways - most of them because...well, for some good reasons, but not significant reasons. tonight, I am left with a sense of undoing. the push that I must do something uncomfortable in order to find true healing. although this is unsettling, to say the least and although I am intentionally being vague in this public forum, I must have some moments to think. to think and pray for direction. perhaps this is another excuse. perhaps I just lack in some courage. but it is time for my life, this old, run-down shack to get a make-over. from the inside out.

now THAT's more like it!

yes indeed. it's that time of week. my goal this week was to re-lose the gain, plus some. or, to make it past -15. I did both. down 2.6 for a total of -15.4. the next mental hurdle is -20...in 5 weeks. totally do-able. however, this next goal takes me to the big mental issue I always have with getting under the 200 mark. this is a really big deal to me. but, I did it once and I am determined to do it again - possibly this week.

what I've noticed:

1. my fave belt is on the last buckle.

2. my fave jeans can get pulled over my hips when I don't have said belt on.

3. people are noticing.

4. I can recover from a bad week and not lose all hope and motivation.

5. the more I do this, the better I feel.

6. I totally need the support I get from all my peeps. THANKS!!! you all are the best group of friends a girl could have!!!

and, in all that, I have great plans to craft tonight...perhaps some new pics to come.

HA!

lesson learned, my ass.  [just re-read last week's post!]

so, I am up 2.2 pounds.  and SO frustrated with myself.  I've had two pretty difficult eating weeks and I made my usual mistake last Saturday:  I rewarded myself for my "almost -15".  cori rewards look like wine, nachos, candy, smut mags, movies and chocolate bars.  yeah, and I suck.  if it had only stopped there, I would have re-bounded.  it was followed up with a sloppy week and two days of eating out at teacher's convention.  thursday morning was a breakfast buffet.  the better choice would have been to stay in control of my eating and just order off the menu.  buffet's and I are life-long enemies.  I honestly don't ever feel like I eat the value of the food that I pay for, so then I eat more to make it worth my while.  then on friday it was vietnamese food for lunch and thai food for supper.  like I said, on their own, it all would have been okay.  all together over the coarse of 7 days - +2.2

lesson learned?  I sure hope so.  

on a positive note, I did run without peeing for the first time in a really long time.  I did 35 some minutes on the treadmill walking and then did 15 minutes of 1 to 1's running and walking.  pretty cool, eh?  

lots of work to do this week to take care of myself AND stay in control of my hunger, my food choices and my mindlessness.  one day at a time.

so close!

so close to -15.  -14.8 is pretty darn close.  I am down another 1.4...totally on schedule.  which is good, since I had a rough eating week on a lot of fronts.  for the first time since christmas, I used up all my extra points - on pizza and icky chicken wings and cake and a shot of baileys.  I know that is what those points are suppose to be for, but still, I usually don't use them up like I did on wednesday night!  mentally it was just a tough week and although I am glad that I didn't pay the price at the scale this week, I see now how easy it is to go back to old ways.  I am combating 15 years of bad habits with 11 weeks of new habits.  so, although I know I shouldn't beat myself up over a couple of rough days, I also know that I need to "press on", "persevere" and just "hold on" when I am tired and pms'ing and busy and just plain old tired [oh, I said that...!!!].  alas, all's well that ends well.  and lesson learned.

have a super weekend!

xoxo

new things...

so we did some scrap book pages at club last night...this is what they looked like!  I totally got the paper flower idea from some primas that I had bought awhile ago...I got the replica idea from SCS, I'm sure.  the other flowers just morphed from there and the cut-out flowers I got from kristina's blog...the ribbon thingy with the button is from the papertray blog!  LOVE it all!!!  I also love how dawn uses ribbon and buttons, which got me thinking that I should do more!

-13 point something...

10 weeks today and I am at -13.  considering the first 4 weeks were HELL, I have to say, I am pretty darn impressed with myself.  and it's not that I didn't think I could do it, but part of me always thinks I'm going to fail.  there is still a part of me that doesn't want to dream big, but the other part knows that dreaming big will create a goal that is totally achievable.  if I keep going at a pound a week [my week-to-week goal], then the following will happen:

I will be down 2 more pounds before teachers convention.  I will be down 6 more by spring break.  I will be down 11 more pounds  before the vancouver marathon.  I will be down 15 more pounds by the time I go to vegas.  that puts me at -28 by vegas.  that is below the lowest I've been in my adult life.  although that thought totally FREAKS ME OUT, I am so motivated by the thought of wearing a size 14 pair of jeans and my zebra print lucky brand jeans sweatshirt [that I bought in LA when I was last that size!!!], that I will not give up.  not this time.

I went through my closet this week and weeded out some old things and organized it so that I know what I can shrink into!  because I totally have clothes from two summers ago that will fit me again.  I like that.

okay, off to deal with my very uncontrollable, very whiney, very irritating five year old. 

xoxo

blah.

it's monday night and I feel like I've been slammed to the ground by a mack truck.  the congestion that has hit my head in the last 24 hours is unbelievable.  I knew I was going to get sick...that's what happens when you don't get proper sleep for a week due to a mysterious illness that plagues the bellies of three year olds [chances are, it's constipation, but who knows if I'm being played or not!].

on a posititve note, I am officially down 12.2 lbs.  and my blue jeans are seeing a tighter belt.  I am terrified to try on any of my smaller fitting clothes, in case I am horribly disappointed or that I wake up from the dream and everyone is laughing at me.  strange, I know.  I could be pms'ing on top of it and you know, those days are always fat days even if you weigh 102 pounds.  whatever.  maybe this saturday I will try on some other jeans and see how things are fitting.  at this rate, being at least 20lbs lighter [from the beginning weight] is looking doable for the first weekend in may:  marathon weekend!  flights are booked, hotels are being booked, I still need to register, but hey, that can wait a week or so!  now I just need to start training.  it is encouraging thought, that I should be legitimately below 200lbs on marathon day.  that alone is a good, good thing for my speed and endurance.  exciting!

well, I should be asleep - but I am still waiting for the drugs to kick in.  I seriously hope both kids have a good night and don't wake up.  if not for them, then for me.  okay, for me all the way.

I get my hair cut tomorrow.  things are good.  

xoxo

a trial

ty & I created a video podcast tonight.  it's uploaded on the beginning stages of what may be, someday, a new website!  check it out here:  life according to ty

AND...I finally have voicemail that works.  love the girl at rogers working in ontario at 3am.  

AND...I am contemplating a draw.  if you watch the video, leave me a comment and then I will pick a number and send out a little something :o)  [deadline on Friday @ 3pm]

xoxo

today I am smarter

1.  so.  today I am officially down 10.8 pounds.  my jeans should be looser.  as much as I don't really feel a big difference, I feel a big difference.  I have more energy and I just think having 10 less pounds stuck to my ass is a really good thing.  that is equivalent to 10 pounds of butter.  or bananas. or a REALLY large baby.  there was a girl at the meeting today - down 102 pounds.  for real.  stories like that are the reason I keep going.  although I still have 16 pounds until I reach where I was the spring/summer of 2007, I feel more in control of myself than I did then.  I trust myself more.  

2.  I got to meet erwin mcmanus yesterday.  I went to his session on leadership and a few things stuck with me.  everything I do should be to bring out the best in the people around me.  the best in humanity.  christ did that.  churches should be doing it.  I want to value people for their uniqueness.  I want to help people in my life dream big and be the best they can be.  I am reading his new book.  I'll let you know how I like it!

3.  I've been going weekly to the mac [computers, not makeup] store for my one-to-one training [thanks to my brother for the gift card!].  today I learned how to create a podcast.  hehehe.  and then I learned how to do a video podcast and add it to my website [which is seriously under construction, because I hit a snag!].  I love my mac.  I love knowing how to be smarter with it.  now I just need to bang it around a bit and get my camera working again.  I don't love the green screen that is photobooth!

4.  I took third place in the poker game last night.  won my money back.  trust me, this is a big deal.  I am AWFUL at poker.

5.  I did a note-tag-thingy on facebook.  I don't usually do them, but enjoyed it!  more so, I enjoy reading everyone else's!  I *heart* facebook.

a few things...

I cannot take the credit for some of these - the owl card is Elsa, the sheep is Felice, the glitter/pink is Colinda and the coffee cup is Annette.  the rest are mine, however I am reluctant to take full credit for those either, since everything I do is a shmozzle of ideas from all sorts of sources!

enjoy!  oh, and most of the supplies are SU! [just incase you're wondering!]

cool beans

so I got to cross something off my list tonight.  I got to meet LGen. Romeo Dallaire.  and hear him speak.  and he autographed my copy of his book.  okay, so I wasn't alone.  there were a couple of hundred of people in the room and I had to stand in line to get my book autographed, but still, I was with paul and audra and we were in the front row.  it was all good.  and he said that I had a nice name [and before you all say it, I know, he probably says that to everyone].  regardless, although having coffee with him is on my list of things I'd like to do before I get to old to put two words together [which somedays feels like today], I was happy to have met him and enjoy an hour or so of his session.

I am half way through his book - Shake Hands with the Devil.  it's a difficult book to read and the message tonight was equally as difficult.  what makes me more or less human than anyone else that lives on this planet?  it kinda goes back to my word of 2009.  am I a person that breathes life or sucks life.  gives life or takes it.  are some humans more human than others?  questions to ponder as I sit in the kitchen in my very comfortable country, my canada.  my voice must be heard.  the life I can give must be given.  the hope I can bring must be my mission.  I refuse to sit and do nothing.

there is a scripture in micah 6:8 that is my motto for this phase of my life:  He has showed you, O man, what is good.  And what does the LORD require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.  act justly.  love mercy.  walk humbly.  this is what is required of me.

down 8.8

you heard it.  -8.8 in 7 weeks.  I am feeling pretty proud of myself right now.  I had a feeling that this week was going to be big [-3.4 this week], but I really didn't want to get my hopes up.  but there was something about how my jeans were fitting last night that felt more baggy then 2 days post-wash-shrinking-jeans-thing.  ANYWAYS, I know darn well it's not just about my eating and the work I am doing daily ['cause MAN, it's hard some days - like when there are 3 cakes in the bloody staff room for staff meeting], but a big difference this time is about the support I am getting from all the people who are surrounding me with this.  THANK YOU!!!  seriously, I didn't have babies that were 8.8lbs, so it's like I was carrying a large-ish baby and now it's gone.

and, in other news...my house is clean, I made some cards, I am off to make some beds and fold more laundry, then head to the mac [apple, not makeup] store for some one-to-one with evan.  a good weekend.  I'll take some pics of my creations, I promise and I will post them as soon as I can!

the word

so susan did a thing on her blog where she picked a word for 2009.  I saw this and spent some time thinking about it before choosing my 2009  word.

as I sit here writing this, I just noticed that it's in the title of my blog!  in fact, the sermon that dean preached today was pretty much on this topic and in fact, inspired my word.  freaky strange.  okay, only to me.

life.

that's my word.  life [there's 36 definitions - I just chose a couple!]:  the course of existence or sum of experiences and actions that constitute a person's existence. animation; liveliness; spirit.  resilience.  a person or thing that enlivens.  effervescence or sparkle.

I guess the whole purpose of this is the why.  why does this matter?  well, I feel that I don't always choose life.  I don't always choose life with my words or with my actions.  I yell at my kids, I am sarcastic, I swear.  I choose death with my mouth.  I know that above all, I don't choose life for myself.  I don't care for my spirit.  or my body.  I choose death every time I overeat.  every time I decide to be so busy.  every time I stay up too late.  every time I binge on chocolate.  some of you may think that I am being hard on myself.  I know that this is not always the case, there are lots of times that I choose life [more so as of late!]; but I do know the condition of my heart and it is naturally sinful.  so, from this moment on, I choose life.  I choose to live in a way that breaths life into the people around me.  I choose to breathe life into my children.  into my students.  into my husband.  into my friends.  into myself.

oh, and on another note - I currently owe yvonne $54 for my clothing fund!

-4 in 5

so I think I said it before here, but I've been going to weight watchers for the last while. today marks the end of my fifth week [I think!]. two weeks ago I thought I was crazy to do this during christmas, turns out it was probably the best thing ever. the first week, I lost 1.4, the second and third week canceled each other out with a -.8 and a +.8, last week I lost .2 and this week, I was down 2.4 for a total of 4 lbs down in total. although I am not totally at my goal of -1 per week, I figure I can cut myself a wee bit of slack because I did this all over the christmas break. yeah me! it was really quite devastating the fist week when I stepped on the scale and saw a number that I have never seen before. but, I am committing a full year to this program in the hopes of losing a pound a week [so, 52 lbs!] and gaining some "never seen in my life since I was 15" thinness, and more importantly gaining some healthy lifestyle changes that will carry me into my 40s. along side of this, since clothing seems to be my hugest shopping thing, and hey, I really like some of my clothes, I am going to put aside $10 for every pound I lose so that when I get to my goal weight, I will be able to makeover my wardrobe with some lucky brand jeans and a pair of leather boots.  okay, well maybe not the exact ones I linked to, but you get the idea.

so, saturday is weigh in day - I will continue to share with you my journey and I hope you will continue to support me as you all do!!

xoxo

new catty, new catty, new catty

a sneak peek...
I am LOVING the accessories...crocheted flowers, corduroy buttons, BEAUTIFUL paper, orange ric-rak. mmmmm. yum-o! my order is going in on Jan 19th. happy, happy!

potty training

so today is the day. tyrone calvin fraser needs to start using the toilet. today. it is out of pure stubbornness that he doesn't. he knows how, he does it occasionally, but really he wants to have a pull-up on. he's lazy and stubborn. so much like his mother. grrr. so this morning, conveniently, we were out of pull-ups so I pulled out some new spiderman underwear and started the whole process. well, he refuses to wear the underwear, put his pj bottoms back on - commando style. that's my kid. john is heading to the 7-11 to get bribe material - round, colourful gum...the candy of choice for my wee ty. it's going to be a LONNNNNGGGG day!

I spent yesterday in my pj's. the whole day. no shower, no nothing. by 10:00 last night I looked and smelled GROSS!! however, my day of nothingness has meant that I've kicked the cold to the curb. I feel MUCH better. much more human. in my "loungingness" yesterday, I watched 2 movies. the first was a movie called "Once" - an irish musical-ish story. not great. not awful. the previews in it, however, lead to movie number two: "the Namesake". WOW. this was a great movie. the guy in house, who was also in Harold & Kumar was in it - and very good.



definitely worth watching. I was desperate, and in my pj's, so I just rented it from itunes. a good $5 spent on my lazy, pajama day! this is kinda my last day of Christmas vacation, if you don't count the weekend. I am feeling like I got nothing done and my plan to go into school for a day, kinda got derailed by illness. I do need to go in, we'll see how the day leads!

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!

well, in and out without much flair. my kind of new years eve.

is it a bad thing [in a symbolic way] to have baileys in my coffee this morning? I don't think so, but it did occur to me that it may be an odd way to start the year. I didn't drink at all last night [cold meds would have messed that up big time!], so I am feeling a slight sense of entitlement! so, raise your coffee cup with me and toast the new year! CHEERS! [hard to make eye contact over a computer, but you get the idea!]

I am making french toast for breakfast - and have some photos to show for it! okay, so not pictures of the actual french toast, but of my kids doing what they do best: