dude [looks like a lady]

HA!  I love this picture!  ty is getting SOOOOOO big!  It's going to be a list kind of night...

1.  got to play soccer today - teachers vs students.  we lost by one goal, a goal I let in.  sigh.  sucks to lose, but it was a super good time!

2.  I wore all of john's gear for the soccer game, so although I didn't really know what I was doing, I sure looked like I did!

3.  word of the day:  FIERCE!

4.  we signed the papers for the car today.  our lease expired so we decided to buy it out.

5.  and then we took the kids out for dinner.  they were so well behaved and ate so well that it was almost a pleasant experience!

6.  7 more sleeps.

7.  next week is read-in week at school.  tons of readers, a crazy schedule and I am not at school tomorrow to get it all organized.  oh well.

8.  gonna call the tattoo place.

9.  hair cut & colour tomorrow.

10.  pedicure on sunday.  I need one SO badly.

and it's 8:42.  the kids are reading in bed.  and not fighting with me or each other.  I like this.

xoxo

I came here to get over you

my new favorite day?  wednesdays.  best. day. ever!  I start my day with teaching language arts to both of my classes, then one block of prep.  then lunch with my bestie [it's my no-supervision day!].  then my wednesday afternoons vary between being in the office doing principal kinds of things or working on other kinds of projects.  today, I was finalizing all my read-in week stuff for next week - scheduling, organizing, making a bulletin board!

then on wednesdays I usually pick up ty at my mom's.  tonight, I had some round-abouts and I picked ty up at my sister's after a rousing counseling session [I was on the receiving end, not the giving end!!  lol].  and then I went for a run [at my sister's on her treadmill].  it was good.  really good.

and night #2 of "the plan" went well, considering we didn't walk in the door until almost 8:30.  they were in their beds [the first time!] by 9:00 and asleep by 9:30.  there was a bit of coercing in the midway point, but for the first time in weeks, ty went to sleep in his own bed.  sigh.

so I am officially out of brandon flowers song titles.  tomorrow [or the next time I blog], I will need to start on something new, song wise!

but to end this post, I think I'll share with you my favorite song off this album:  welcome to fabulous las vegas [I know, no surprise!]

right behind you

I am almost out of brandon flowers song titles.  into the bonus tracks!

had a bit of a food moment today.  for the first time in a really long time, my belly decided to H-A-T-E me.  and dude, I was at school.  total suckage.  anyways, as strange as it sounds, I often get bad belly when I eat too much healthy food.  two days of oatmeal, couscous and steamed veg made for some unhappiness.  the only thing that seems to fix it is gas-x and some junk food.  for real.  so I ate half a cheeseburger and all was well.  so strange.  so, since I am totally over on my points today, I am having THIS for my snack.  LOVE the laughing cow cheese.  two pieces = one point.

and I started on a multi-vitamin today.  hoping to curb some of the general tiredness.  that combined with my new bedtime plan, I am hoping I can get some sleep.  the new plan, you ask?  well, it's a combination of a bedtime schedule and a reward plan.  both boys picked a prize and they are earning points to get it.  they helped establish the plan and I am hoping that will then build some vested interest/buy-in into it.  then we created a bedtime schedule.  nate really helped with it; he is learning to tell time so I'm hoping this will help him with that skill.  so far, so good.  we are 15 minutes behind schedule because I ran to get some groceries right in the middle of snack time - grapes were needed!  but, it's 8:50 and they are both in their beds.  not sleeping.  but not fighting with me.  we'll see.  I needed something to give, so I decided to look at this from a teacher perspective, not a parent perspective.  I have no idea if it will work, but at this point [and since running away from home is not an option] I need to try something.  I'll let you know if it works!

the clock was tickin'

my view from here!  I enjoy my hipstimatic app - I just don't use it often enough.  I am borrowing my mom's big camera to take to seattle, but I am thinking that the ol' iPhone hipstimatic may be a lovely addition as well!

10 more sleeps until I leave for seattle.  I am super excited, mainly because I haven't seen erika IRL in over two years.  that's two years too many!  and we found this coffee tour that I totally want to go on.  looks totally like something I could get into!  a walking coffee crawl.  sigh.  and dude, I totally want to see pike place market.  and the first starbucks evah.   10 more sleeps.  ha!  it's all good!

jacksonville

so tonight we are catching up on all the tv we pvr'ed this week.  all the shows that we usually watch and a bunch of new ones.  good times.  csi was good.  criminal minds was damn good.  liked hawaii 5-0 as well.  and glee.  glee was sweet.  LOL.  I do love glee.

anyways, I was told this last week that I reminded someone of penelope garcia from criminal minds.  my response was "thanks for the complement" and the reaction was "maybe it wasn't a complement!"  I say it was.  she is one of my favorite characters on tv.  as in fictional tv characters!  LOL  I totally don't have her sense of style, nor do I have her computer smarts, but I am a girl-geek!  and dude, she gets to sweet talk agent morgan every week.  sigh.

my favorite "real" person on tv right now is duff goldman.  yes, ace of cakes is my FAVE.  best show on the food network.  all my tv secrets are out.  I am a bit of an addict - but now a days, it's an addiction to my pvr so I don't ever have to view another commercial in my LIFE!

okay, we're watching ncis.  then ncis: la.  ll cool j.  double sigh.
xoxo

jilted lovers & broken hearts

it's back.  my sweet and lovely csi.  sigh.  I do love it.  I have to say that this makes up for three weeks of school - three weeks where I've not been able to sit on the couch, drink coffee and watch csi reruns!  and let's be honest, new episodes alway beat out the reruns [oh except warrick isn't on any more!!].

I really have nothing else to write about.  my happy moment is just that - happy!

I'm sure I could have come up with something extraordinary and deeply meaningful to write about tonight, but my brain is full and sleep is looking elusive once again.

xoxo

hard enough

so, had club tonight...we made three different cards.  these picture do not do them any justice!  love my iPhone and all, but it does not take good card pictures.  this first one is with very vanilla and cherry cobbler - looks more like white and pink!  much, MUCH nicer in person!

yeah, these look dorky too - LOL  I don't think I can win when I do this!  the bling doesn't even look like bling, but like some black dots over in the corner.  I love this combo of pumpkin pie and concord crush [it's like my poorly put together outfit from saturday...my inspiration].  looks better on paper than it does in my clothing!

and then there's my newly decorated but not done basement.  isn't the lovely shade of insulation-pink so super gorgeous?  TOTALLY!  you can kinda see my aqua floor.  and yes, I've stapled and bolted things to the wall.  it looks better IRL.  I do like how cozy it is - we had fun down there tonight!

I promised pictures and this is what you get - sad but true!  oh well, you kinda get an idea.  on friday they're coming in to clean our furnace and to fix a bunch of stuff, so I didn't do a whole lot.  there are still many boxes that need to be sorted through.  but now, at least, I have one more month before people have to see it again!!!

welcome to fabulous las vegas

my basement is 80% set up.  FINALLY.  I have a beautiful craft space, a lovely blue floor and I hung christmas lights up everywhere.  and when did it get done?  the night before the first night of club.  yes, I worked my arse off tonight so that I can host club tomorrow night.  I am the queen of procrastination.  on every level.  and although there are many boxes that still need to be unpacked, I got a lot accomplished tonight.  and that feels really good.  AND, I finally found my black shoes - the one pair that had been eluding me!  they were in a box that was under a few more boxes, down in the basement.  I had to clear a big space in my storage because the furnace is being cleaned on friday.  but, I have shoes!  still don't know what exactly we're making for club tomorrow night, but that's okay too.  I have tomorrow to come up with that!!

and did you watch the season premier of house tonight?  why not?  oh, you pvr'ed it?  well I would certainly hope so!  it was darn good.  LOL

I'll post my club projects tomorrow - I do have an idea in my head...

[btw, "club" is my stamp club - I have 8-10 women who come over to my house once a month to make cards!  if you want to come, drop me an email or leave a comment!]

magdalena

and this week's blog titles are brought to you by "flamingo" [go get yourself this album!!]...

went for a run this afternoon.  I am getting stronger.  I like that.  I was definitely more focused on the feeling than on the time, but I did manage a bunch of two and twos today [two minutes walking and two minutes running or inclining].  couldn't quite do one and twos, but that will come.  this comes the day after I saw the scale jump down another 2lbs this week, 4lbs in the last two weeks.  finally, some progress.

and in the sleep department?  yeah, THAT was a dream [pun intended!!].  ty woke up screaming at 230 this morning.  after the two times up out of bed and half an hour later, he ended up in our bed.  and I woke up with a sore back.  grrr.  well, it's not from a lack of trying, that's for sure.

so I don't know if I've talked about this at all, but I made an appointment to talk to a counsellor and I saw her for the first time last week.  there comes a point where blogging and talking to my girlfriends just isn't enough.  I probably needed to do this earlier this summer, but better late than never, right?  it was good to talk.  not like I need a lot of direction, because like she said, I do know what I need to do [denial isn't really a big issue for me], but I just need to get it all off my chest.  and she gave me some homework - to call my doctor and make an appointment and to get more sleep [ha!].  if even half of my issues are hormonal, that needs to be diagnosed by my doctor.  she also talked to me about finding a place of refuge when I'm feeling stressed out.  so today I locked myself in my closet so I could talk on the phone. I LOVE my closet and just sitting on the floor in there made me happy [strange, I know!].  and in dealing with my emotions in a healthier way, the boys seem more settled.  time-outs for mom is good.  what would be real refuge would be to sit in my closet and blog.  that would be happy-happy!!  I see her again in two weeks and hopefully I've made some progress on my "homework".

and alas, I should run to the store...but it's COLD.  wish me luck!
xoxo

only the young

I do love saturdays.  my mom-in-law took the kids over night last night which really meant one thing:  SLEEP!  I have not been sleeping well as of late [okay, like since the start of summer!] and one night of solid sleep was good for my mental health.  and tonight I'm aiming for another.  as sleep streak!  shocking.  I have some very sincere sympathy for my friends that are new moms.  this whole sleepless thing is not good.  not ever.

so I made it to the market this morning, wearing my new purple vest, only to realize that I had paired it with an orange shirt and a black scarf.  yeah, that was a bit of a fright.  I really need to start looking in a mirror before I leave the house!  the market wasn't super busy [like!] and I was able to get pasta, peppers and eggs!

and then, between a trip to costco, save-on and connie's house, I made it home at around 330!  really, a lovely saturday.  except for the cold.  it's super cold here.  like I need mittens kind of cold.  don't like that.  not on the 19th of september!

and now, the boys are in the bath.  they've had stellar behaviour all day [knock on fake wood].  I'm a bit baffled, yet not complaining!

so friends, what did you do today?  how do you spend your saturdays?  I'm feeling inquisitive!

on the floor

so I rarely buy entire albums as of late - I buy singles, songs I hear on the radio or that I've shazamed off of tv.  but very rarely an entire album with the bonus tracks to boot.  HOWEVER [you knew THAT was coming!], I was super excited for the brandon flowers new release "flamingo".  I had been hearing the song crossfire on the radio for a while and loved it.  and to be honest, I pretty much love most of the stuff that the killers have done, so I pre-ordered the new album that dropped on tuesday.  okay.  I L-O-V-E this album.  all of it.  I've actually  had time in the last couple of days to listen to it back to back and it's one of those albums that are just solid from front to back.  and oddly enough, my favorite track is on the floor which has a bit of an old country twang sound.  not my usual sound, but I'm drawn to it lyrically.  and yes, it's an easy sell for me.  everyone knows I have a serious crush on vegas.  it's not a killers album by any stretch of the imagination - very little of their synth-keys sound, but brandon flowers has a distinctive voice and it's not easy to miss the killers signature sound, if only in his vocals.  I don't review albums often [ever], but I am in love.  and a bit addicted.  will brandon flowers want to be my new boyfriend?  we'll see!

me and julio down by the school yard

is that even the title of the song?  little bit of paul simon tonight.

okay boys and girls, it's book review time.  and strangely enough, I'm not even done reading the book!!

Grace is for Sinners by serena woods is a book that I had heard about via all my summer blog hopping. I was drawn to it for many reasons, one being that I can relate to parts of her personal story and two, I can relate to the church part of her story.  so, I ordered it, via my local christian bookstore and started reading it last night.  although I am not quite done [I have three chapters left], I'm thinking that someone is speaking my language.  the language of who I am  - a sinner.  I have struggled for a long, long time with the church's general reaction to sinners.  I have had an extraordinary time trying to reconcile what I've read in the Bible with what I've seen practiced.  part of me is comforted that my experiences are not isolated.  I am not alone.  my upbringing, albeit very different than serena's, ended up in the same place - a place where for years I was proud of my christian accomplishments, not willing to see that I could and would fall.  and my story is embedded in a language that is similar to serena's.  a language that is filled with hate in the name of a God who truly loves.  I just am not too sure if I really understand how deeply I am loved.  I am not there yet.  my relationship with God has been really surface.  a lot of showing up, but not being honest.  a lot of tantruming and not a lot of listening.  the selfish part of me isn't really willing to totally let go yet, but I am going to take this book and it's message for the sign that it is and I am going to start rebuilding a crumbling heart.  

I have shared some of my issues over the last few months.  my issues with my weight.  my issues with my emotions.  my issues with my kids and my frustrations with change that I know needs to happen in my life.  in the past, I would have said to someone, anyone, that I know it needs to come from a deeper place, but after reading this book [or most of it], I know that saying it and living it are so different from each other.  my relationship with God needs to be a priority.  I just know that it's going to have to come at a cost and I am not there yet.  but I am looking up at that mountain.  I am finally at the base of it.  and I'm a bit freaked out.  there is a lot of pain from my childhood - my overly churched childhood - that needs to be worked through.  it's like throwing up a little bit in your mouth.  gross and icky.  but in this case, it's time to stop masking the pain.  time to stop eating to numb the pain.  it's time to just start feeling it.  and dealing with it.

okay, so that's more about me than about the book!!!  the book is really good.  and if you are a sinner, like me and you often feel inwardly or outwardly ostracized by the church, this book is for you.  you are not alone.  and neither am I.  if you need forgiveness, this book is for you.  if you need to forgive, this book is for you.  and most importantly, if you are lost and need God's grace, this book will point you in that direction.  so go!  go now and get yourself a copy!!  I'm going to spend the next few minutes finishing the last few chapters...

house of the rising sun

so tonight was good.  sweet, sweet, good.  we had a par-tay at church tonight...tons of people, a lot of good food.  and part of the party was "bring your instrument".  well, I can't quite bring mine, but we have a keyboard & an organ [of the keyboard variety] in the building, so it was all good.  we started jamming at 7 or so and didn't end until after 9.  two hours of playing random songs and just jamming with our group.  some bluegrass, some country, some beatles, some dylan.  leonard cohan's hallelujah.  it was all good.  okay, maybe not so good when we didn't have music and it was too complicated to hear it out, but for the most part, it was all good!

it's been a long, long time since I've been able to play like that - just chilled, no pressure.  not that when I play I ever feel that pressure, but tonight was different.  I only play the piano at church for the most part - and really that's maybe once a month.  back in the day [like 10 years ago...wowzers!], I was playing three times a week - wednesday night for choir, saturday mornings for rehearsal, then sundays for choir and worship.  I played with the same five or six people over the course of about seven years.  and we would jam.  and just play. and no one had small kids, so you could just hang out.  then we left shiloh and I went to just playing once a week.  and trust me, that was a good change - three times a week made for a hectic schedule and occasionally bloody fingers.  then when we started going to next, my playing schedule went to once a month, which is really a good thing.  I play with the same group of guys every month [I am one of two girls in our little band!] and we have a good time, but we haven't played together in a long time.  so tonight was sweet.  I some times forget how therapeutic playing the piano can be.  it's good for the soul.  and good for my brain.  and I so enjoyed doing it with friends tonight.  I am grateful for the opportunity to hang out with such talented, talented musicians.  they make me a better musician.

baby, I like it

sorry, some guy is singing on america's got talent - apparently this is the name of the song!  okay, and not just "some guy" but enrique iglesias!  totally off topic, before I even start!!

okay, so I still hurt from the stupid workout tape from sunday.  like sore knees, hams, quads.  grrr.  so because tomorrow is my running day and I want to be well enough to run, I've opted to NOT do the damn workout tape until thursday!  I did walk yesterday.  and avoided sugar.  and alcohol.  but today, I've hit one out of three and that's just because I haven't had a drink yet!  just kidding.  sorta.  I learned a tough lesson today.  I did not pack enough lunch today and resorted to the m&ms hiding in my drawer.  I was SOOOO hungry and I had nothing else.  and it has just rolled downhill from there.  sheesh.  I am totally still in my points, but a sad, sad beginning.  LOL

alas, the truth hurts sometimes.  but if I can choose different tomorrow, then it's all good.  right?

rewind

my. butt. hurts.

and my legs.  and my abs.  and my arms.  let's just chalk this up to first time moving those muscles in a wee while.  and a decent video.  if I wasn't hurting, I'd be worried.  but still.  BRUTAL!

timer's ringing.  the pumpkin muffins are done...I'll maybe write more later!!

swallow it

so these are the pictures my mom took with her good camera - a little better than the phone!

so I've been working on goal setting this week with my kids at school. I've been explaining to them that it's not just about setting a goal, but outlining the steps to reach their goals. so I'm thinking that I should maybe do the same. I have this uber big goal. I want to lose 10 pounds [well, actually 12, but I am going at this in 10 pound increments]. so really, it's all nice and fancy to talk about it, but I need to be accountable for the steps I'm going to take to get there. so here are my steps:

#1 I am going to move everyday. I bought this little 20 min exercise video "losing it and keeping fit" with valerie bertinelli. I did it tonight and it's a good workout. a lot of squats. a lot of lunges. and abs. holy dinah. I like that there's two or three levels on the first level. and there was stuff I couldn't do tonight. this gives me hope! I want to do this vid at least 5 times a week, then on wednesdays, when I am picking ty up after music, I'll do a good old-fashioned run on the treadmill at my mom & dad's.

#2 I am going to cut out refined sugar. it's killing me to even type it. no m&m's until these 10lbs are gone [then maybe I'll have a wee bit of a celebration!!]. no lovely treats from starbucks. no added sugar. no baking [unless it's of the healthy, pumpkin muffin variety - low sugar, vegan, high flavour]. no cake. no white bread [this is easy, I detest the stuff!]. I have a pretty big sugar addiction, and it's not a good thing.

#3 no alcohol. not ever, just not until these 10lbs are gone. this is my 10lb plan not my "rest of my existence" plan. I need to detox for a lot of reasons, but this is a good excuse to have some clean living for the next 5 weeks or so.

I am going to continue following the weight watchers plan, as I've been doing, but just kick it up a notch with these three things. in 5 weeks, I'll be in Seattle. I have every intention of getting my tattoo when I'm there. a tattoo that I will only get if I reach this goal. that and I'd like to fit back into the size 14 jeans that are in my closet. sheesh. tomorrow morning, I'm going to weigh in and take some measurements [because let's be honest, it's not all about the number on the scale. size 14 jeans will fit if the waist & hips are a couple of inches smaller!]. so, there's the big goal. right now, it seems insurmountable, but I know that if I follow my plan, the goal will be accomplished. I just need to remember how good it feels to be down to 190. oh, that's right, I've never been there!!! that's how good it'll feel!

life is a highway

well, he LOVES school. I figured he might. this is always my big worry, that the first day EVER will suck. you only get one shot at a first day. there were no tears. no, this kid is the big kid on campus. he knows everyone and everyone loves ty! nate didn't quite have the benefit of this type of notoriety in kindergarten, so it will be interesting to see how it plays out!

and our school does staggered entry, so basically they split the kindergarten class into three groups and each group went to school one day this week. well ty's little friend went on wednesday morning and he went on thursday morning. and then he told me that him and brandon were going to walk together today. and there was no telling him that they weren't going today! that's a good sign.

my mom walked him [there are better pictures coming, this one was taken with her bb!] and he walked back to our day home with a couple of grade 6 girls. in HEAVEN. what a kid. I'm excited to see what this school year brings for him.