then about an hour later, I went to get some groceries and coffee. and I had a realization. I am Ty. I am stubborn beyond measure. I scream and kick and hit and bite when I don't get my own way. I am self-centered and egotistical. and above all, I am in pain. my soul is sad. and my relationship with my little boy right now totally mirrors my relationship with God. and I am currently out of sorts and having a big-ass tantrum. and I am beginning to see my need for grace. and change. at 38 years old, it needs to stop being about me. my wants, my desires, me.
and this summer will need to be about that. about change. about being the person I have been created to be.
but I'm a bit freaked out. okay, honestly, a lot freaked out. but I suspect the end result may be good. and as a firm believer in hope, I'm okay with that.