Tuesday, May 30, 2006


I haven't blogged in a couple of days - I am still feeling totally exhausted from the weekend & I am pms'ing which SUCKS big time. I have such an incredible amount of work to do over the next 2 weeks and I am letting it suck out my energy [just thinking about it, not even doing it!!]. regardless, I shouldn't complain. everyone is healthy again, ty is feeling A LOT better & the weather has been great! yet, I just feel icky & tired & bitchy. so tonight, I ate a mcflurry, which just made my belly feel icky. LOL maybe I should just head to bed!

Saturday, May 27, 2006

and now...

everything is okay. ty just has an infection, no abscess, no more fever, no more IV. just tears because he is TOTALLY off schedule and he doesn't want to go to sleep.

the bump on his neck will be there for another couple of weeks, and he has to do the whole oral antibiotics for the next week, but other than that...all is well. Thank you, God.

and on another note...

and, all things considered, I haven't hardly walked at all this week [grrrr], but the eating hasn't been too awful, even with all the stress & lack of sleep. I'm proud of me :o)

the last 24 hours

well, the last 24 hours have been interesting, to say the least...stressful would be the better term. both john and I have strep throat. at about 130am on friday morning, ty woke up with a fever [something he was already enjoying for 12 hrs or so] and I noticed a lump on the side of his neck. john & I called health link and talked to a nurse there...she told us of some things to look for, and that we needed to take ty to the drs in the next 24 hrs. first thing friday morning [john & I were both home because of the strep], I called my drs office - they were plum full, but would call me if a cancellation came up. john and I decided that if they didn't call before noon, we would just take ty to see the dr at the medi center.

so, at noon [my mom had picked up nate] we tromped over to the medi center. 2.5 hrs later we were seen by a doctor [grrr! I HATE WAITING!!!] who promptly sent us to the emergency room at the sturgeon. they took one look at ty, his lump & his fever and called the stollery. they gave him an iv, took some blood and started him on iv antibiotics. and then we waited some more. at 6pm, an ambulance came and took ty & I to the university hospital.

to make a long story a tad shorter, he has a swollen gland in his neck - quite common for children as their immune systems are not used to dealing with different types of bacteria [like strep]; the glands overreact, then swell. they put ty on out-patient status and gave him another dose of antibiotics. we were back there at 1am for more and this morning we are heading there again. this morning, they are also going to ultrasound the gland. if it has abscessed, we are dealing with surgery. if it has not, then the antibiotics should do the trick.

regardless, keep us [and more specifically ty] in your prayers. I will post later when I know more.

Friday, May 26, 2006

a rough night

well, ty is sick...which makes me sad. he is so sad looking; he is cuddling with john right now, but he was up off and on all night. john & I are both feeling a lot better today, but I am so tired from being up most of the night. we are just waiting to hear from the dr's office [if they've had a cancellation] and if we don't hear something soon, then it will be off to the medi-centre. grrr. and we are going to need to pick up some advil too...my head is pounding. alas, a sad, grey friday all the way around.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

new hair!

so I got my hair chopped last night...I had planned to go for the SERIOUS chop, but decided on a more in between cut that I am LOVIN'!! the boys and I are all sick - well, nate isn't really, but ty & john have the same sore throat that I have. misery. it hurts to talk, hurts to swallow, hurts to do everything with my mouth...except for ice cream - that tastes very good!

got on the scale today...finally, down a few pounds. I need to put the scale away until next thursday - and get back to the weighing myself once a week.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

ty took 2 steps!

ALONE!!! and in Dr Fleck's office! YAH TY! [okay, so there's an excited mom here!]

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

it figures....

that I would start feeling sick the morning after a 4 day weekend. grrr. we were up late last night watching 24. my whole eating day was whacked because of my schedule, but I kept my calories pretty close to my goal. of course, since I ate dinner at 4pm, I was starving at 8pm. so, I started out with some fruit, then had a yogurt, then a dark chocolate cadbury thin. shoulda stopped after the yogurt. good thing today is a new day! I have my healthy lunch & snacks packed up, I got a good start on my report cards yesterday and I am feeling good about this week. [oh, and I walked 7k yesterday!!]

just a note to self: "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength"...I am going to meditate upon this verse today [and the next few days] as I know that I cannot do this with my own strength and will power. I am going to need some help from a MUCH bigger source.

it's 6:32...I'd better get going.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

pics of ty - 11mos!!

me & my boys - yes, my eyes are half closed...

ty looks like he has a big 'fro in this pic - just fuzzy hair, I think!

if I could do it yesterday...[and other crazy things!]

well [how many posts have I started with that word?? first person to guess correctly wins a prize!!], I stayed below 1550 calories yesterday - and didn't feel hungry. I also had my last snack before 8pm. not bad, all things considered!

and because I like setting mini goals, these are mine for the week:
1. stop eating after 7:30 - if I feel like I am dying of starvation, I will only eat fruits or veggies.
2. drink all 3L of water - when I drink this amount, I feel better.
3. start eating oatmeal for breakfast again...this might be tough, but I am going to try!
4. accountability with erika!

oh, and some new pics of ty [who, by the way, is standing alone!!] to follow in my next post!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

7k & hockey tape

so I did 7k this morning with my mom & my aunt...they went a little longer than I did, but for some reason my stomach has been giving me grief. last night I was buckled over in pain. today, I just constantly have the feeling like I could throw up. and no, I am not pregnant ['cause I know that's what everyone is thinking!].

I am having a hard time lowering my caloric intake to 1550 calories. I am hungry in the evenings without a lot of room to budge. I did a different calculation today and it put my high end more at 1650. I know 100 calories won't make all the difference in the world, but maybe it's the psychological allowance that I need. I am making a lot of changes, but the scale isn't budging. grrr. erika and I are going to talk today and make a plan. speaking of which - I am hungry!

and now I am off in search for some hockey tape - a project I am working on!!

Monday, May 15, 2006

I am SO annoyed

so john brought me a mcflurry - bad move on so many levels. I had already reached my caloric limit of 1550 & that added 630 calories...GRRRRRRR! then, after eating the bloody mcflurry, I discovered that my tooth broke. so, now I have a sub booked for tomorrow because I have to get into the dentist ASAP...I am just really hoping that they have an opening - if not, I'm SO hooped. double grrr.

I feel good!

well, a really great weekend!

John treated me to a day off on Saturday - he took the boys to his mom's for the day and I hung out ALL BY MYSELF!!! although I LOVE my boys, I needed a day just to clean the house, go for coffee, watch ER, take a nap and just spend time alone.

ty is officially done the boob...I have mixed feelings about it though. I miss my "ty time", but I am glad he is taking the bottle, as he's not been getting the nutrition that he should be getting. it's one less stress in my day as well. this, more than anything, has the biggest impact on how I nourish my body. starting today, I am cutting my calories from 1800 to 1500 per day. that is a HUGE difference for me. I am really logging all my food closely, as I adjust to this change. I am hoping that this kick starts my body into losing some real weight, as it is no longer providing nourishment for a whole other person. also, I walked yesterday - 3k & I am going to attempt a 9k tonight. I need to make me & my health a priority. I need to honour my body with what I put in it. plus, I think erika is KICKING my butt and I need catch up!!

also, I bought the Joyce Myers book this weekend - I am going to read chapter 1 tonight.

Thursday, May 11, 2006


so, my knee survived an hours walk...and after a week without walking, I also survived!! rae & I went over by her house and it felt really great to be out there in the fresh air. speed & distance still need to be improved, but hey, that will come sooner than later.

now, about the dumb-ass food. I either need to get a grip or stay fat. I so cannot deal with the latter, so I'd better get working on the first. how many friggin' times do I need to talk about it and talk about it and talk about it...FOREVER. grrr. I like how my body is starting to look, I enjoy wearing nice clothes - that are smaller and cuter and bought in a regular store. but why, oh why, in the heat of the moment, do I eat a 500 calorie scone? or 2 pieces of yummy pumpkin square? WHY????!!! I feel like something needs to click in my brain. maybe that needs to be the focus right now - little sticky notes on my desk, my water bottle, my computer, my FORHEAD! maybe I just need to get MAD.

I was watching Oprah today and they were talking to women who abused their bodies either with food...both over & under eating; the common thread was self hatred. so here's the question of the hour: do I hate myself so much that I will continue to abuse my body? and really, it's not even mine, but created for me to take care of. do I really have that much anger and hatred towards myself? I don't think I do, yet the way I treat myself seems to indicate something else. this bothers me...as does my attitude as of late. bottom line, I am not liking all my negativity right now. it is coming through in my relationships with my family. it is coming through in my classroom. it is coming through in everything and I SO don't want that.

so here's the deal, cor...SMARTEN UP! GET A GRIP! and in the words of Winston Churchill, "never, never, never quit". and even better, in the words of Paul, "it was for freedom that Christ set us free". and just because I can't resist, in Mel Gibson fashion, FREEDOM!!!

Sunday, May 07, 2006

give it one more shot

john & I wrote out our goals for the next week - portion size & workout schedule. it helps to have him on-side with the goals, then he can work in my favor. and suddenly all my struggles this week have made sense - I HATE PMS!!!

I was emailed this artical today: [thanks, sparkspeople!]

Persistence. Persistence. Persistence.
"We keep hearing about how persistence is often the key to success. But what do you do when you've been striving for so long that it seems like your goal is never going to see light? How do you deal with the fear that you're about to fail? Simple. Give it just one more shot. And then one more. Think about the sweat and time you've committed already. You've come this far, you'd be unfair to yourself if you quit without a fight. Even if the odds are way out of your favor and you can't see how it can possibly help, reach out and take one last swing. You never know what will happen. Big, meaningful achievements don't just happen when everything goes your way. How many times have you seen tennis players make miraculous winning shots while lunging for a ball that seemed impossible to reach? Sometimes, you can find victory in the effort."

Saturday, May 06, 2006

a standstill

well, I have been back at work for a full month and I have discovered that I am at a standstill. although my exercise has increased my quality of eating has decreased. part of that is having to bring a lunch, coming home late, having to worry about food for the boys, fitting in time to grocery shop...I could go on. regardless of the reasons, there are a few things I can do. for this week, I am going to make a couple of mini goals.

1. drink 3L of water a day [I've been slacking on this] and try to drink this water before meal times.

2. portion sizes - I am going to do one of two things: pack smaller potions or just eat half. this includes the skill of listening to my body and getting in tune with my hunger/saity feelings. although this may appear to be tougher to do than counting calories, it will be something I can do when what I have to eat may not be the best quality. am I throwing good eating out of the window? heck no. I will endeavor to choose healthy, quality, filling food whenever possible.

maybe this can kick me out of my standstill and get me moving in the right direction once again.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

another 6k & some more pictures!

well, I did 6k tonight...and although I am sore, I FEEL GOOD! I walked with aunty, which was really nice, but the weather was SO great - sunny, cool, a bit of a breeze! a 10 minute kilometer, not bad all things considered. and I think Rae & I are going to do another 6k tomorrow - we'll walk from my place down groat road and see if we can make it across the river!

and then there are some more pics of nate...hehehe!! the gap commercial waiting to happen!

Monday, May 01, 2006

and a few more!

and a couple more of my faves!

a few pictures...thanks Irene!

I really like this one!

I cropped this one a bit [I couldn't stand the angle of my face...so vain, I know]

an odd little day

so today was a bit off the mark - I went to the gym this morning [that was good], then I was at an inservice all day - not great food choices...literally. you could choose one thing for lunch [pizza] with some salad [caesar]. and lunch was at 1230, an hour after our usual lunch time. not so bad, but I was STARVING...I hate feeling like that. needless to say, not a great eating day so I think I will have some eggs and toast for supper. the game is on in mere minutes!

OH, and good news...I got some of the pictures from Irene - WOW! THEY ROCK! I'll post a couple!