Tuesday, January 31, 2006

my squirmy baby

other than the child on my lap who doesn't want to sleep, it was a pretty good day. my back hurts A LOT , which is hurting the momentum I had built with working out. I am really bummed about that. eating wise, a successful day. tomorrow will be a challenge, as I am out & about all day. but hey, nothing to fear! I have a bar in my bag & I know where to stop for nutritious "fast food". I can do it! I can do it!!!

gonna try again with a picture!


two words really bug me: irregardless - IT'S NOT A WORD!!! & alot - IT'S NOT A WORD EITHER!!!

I know this has nothing to do with anything...but it DRIVES me crazy when these are misspelled & misused!! Just a thought for today - I'll catch up on the rest of my day a bit later!!

Monday, January 30, 2006

thought I'd post a picture...

okay, so this a LOVELY picture of me! I downloaded some sort of picture hosting thing, but I can't get it to work for some reason...or maybe it is already working!!

icky day

I am having very icky day...grrrr.

I woke up yesterday with a sore back and last night was interesting, trying to get Ty out of his bed to feed him. I went and saw the chiropractor this morning, but it was some chore getting the boys dressed & in the car. I feel a bit better and I know that after a good nights sleep, I will feel a lot better.

Then there was the food today. I had a bit of a free-for-all yesterday as far as the quality of food, so today I worked hard to stay healthy only to have the fiber bug kick me in the stomach. DAMN that oatmeal. And that apple with peel. And that flaxseed bagel. My stomach combined with my sore back is enough to take the wind out of my sails entirely. So what did we do? Ordered pizza for supper. On a good note, I ate 2 small pieces, not 4... Still. I tried so hard today to eat healthy, filling foods only to have to deal with the stupid fiber kickback. Oh well. I need to intake another liter of water to make up for the fiber...off to fill the bottle.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

the big 200!

well, I am down another pound! WOOHOO for me! I am concerned though, because I have a psychological barrier when it comes to getting below 200. At the rate I am going, that will be in 2 or 3 weeks. The key is going to be to work hard not to let this prior barrier affect me this time. And that is my first big goal - 199! Regardless, I am feeling so much better - more energy, more everything!! I am not feeling as stressed either - I am excited to see the changes in my body almost daily & more importantly, the changes in my attitude. It sure helps to have friends who care.

Friday, January 27, 2006


I feel blah! Yesterday was a good eating day - considering I was out & about all day. I did not get enough sleep last night [Ty was up 4 times in the night :( ]. So, this morning, we are still in our pajamas!! And, today, I am going to hit the gym...and push it hard!!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

get a grip [take 2]

Well, I have started the morning out right & yesterday was a GREAT eating day...good in the calories, good in nutrition, went to the gym...I think I surprised myself!

Sometimes I just feel emotionally out of control & this morning is kinda feeling like that. Not too sure what triggers it, but I need to make sure that I just handle my emotions in a different way than my usual "medicating with food" thing. I think it might be the stress of going back to work and all the changes that come with that. Gonna keep on top of it. I know I can do it, I know I can!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

miss shirely was a wise one

Yesterday was a bit of a rough eating day for me. I found myself falling into old habit patterns when it came to my choices. We ordered BP last night, I made an informed, nutritional, yet satisfying choice, but then I picked off of Nate's plate like it was the last time I was going to ever see and enjoy a chicken finger. Did I even enjoy it? HECK NO...I was too busy stuffing it in my mouth. So I over did it in the calorie department - far, far, far over what I usually eat, then I was hungry 2 hrs later and I had a hard time fighting the "you already blew it" mentality. Now, I didn't make an awful choice with my snack, but it wasn't great either, considering all the calories I had consumed. I guess the real test is how I view today...it is a new day - fresh with no mistakes in it [as Miss Shirley says to Anne]. Maybe I need to cut back some today so that over 2 days it all evens out. I can do that. I can definitely do that.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Fear & Questions

I just finished reading an article in this months O magazine...the author talks about the fear of change. Could I be sabotaging myself in my quest for heath? Am I living my life to the fullest RIGHT NOW? or am I waiting for that magical number on the scale to tell me that now is the time to be happy? Just some thoughts...

I need to learn how to be as healthy as I can while living to my fullest now [rephrased: A. Ward].

let the journaling begin!

okay, I am making it a goal this week to journal more frequently!

I am feeling like it's a good start to the week. Last week at this time, I was feeling VERY discouraged as the scale wasn't showing any weight loss at all. Then, it seemed like 2 pounds found their way off of my thighs and all of a sudden, I feel like I am on track. I hit the gym 3 times last week and chanted my mantra "I am building a healthy heart...".

AND...maybe bigger than anything, I had a complement yesterday & it put EVERYTHING into focus for me. I went to Starbucks and the line was moving very slowly [shift change & newbies!] and the guy making the drinks said to me "sorry it took so long" and I replied with, "no worries" and he says, "I like it when you come in here, you're always so nice and patient when you come in". And I was like WOW! A, I made an impression with my attitude and B, I made an impression with my attitude! What really matters in my life? That I can wear a size 2 or that I can make a difference in the lives of other people with my life and my attitude. Talk about a wake-up call. And do I still care about how I look? FOR SURE. Is is the MOST important thing in my world? HECK NO. Do I want to be heathy? FOR SURE. Am I going to let the self-loathing voice in my head rule my world? HECK NO!

Phew! Got that all off my chest!!