Sunday, January 31, 2010

crystal village

so I tried to take a picture a day with my iPhone - then edited them on my phone with one of two new apps: camerabag & shakeitphoto. camerabag comes with 8 or 9 different edits, most of which I like - helga is my favorite! shakeitphoto does an old school polaroid finish, and it even takes time to develop [the martini picture below].

although these are in reverse order, and I didn't quite manage one-a-day, it was fun to see what I could manage in a week...

#6: nate at sarah's basketball game on saturday - both boys play basketball [or are learning to] and they had great fun watching the jr high girls win a championship! go eagles!!

#5: also taken on saturday - an update on the new house. they've poured the basement. that beats last week when they had just dug the basement. progress is my friend!

#4: I concocted a martini on friday night. it was not bad - not my best, but with a tweak or two it could be EXCELLENT! this version was 1pt vodka, 1pt baileys, 1pt cherry whiskey. I think that next time I would make it with vanilla vodka and some chocolate poured in the glass to garnish it!

#3: after the crazy that was wednesday [overtired kids meet cranky mom], after I bathed nate because he peed all over the bathroom floor, I saw this arraignment on the bathtub wall and had a good chuckle. spidey meets the ducks.

#2: those of you know that know me well, know that it nearly killed me not to buy these sticky notes on tuesday. if I wasn't a teacher ['cause I can't use these at school!!] I may have given in to the temptation. I just couldn't figure out how I could use them and still be a good mom! bad enough that I have a darling 4-year old that knows how to use the f-bomb correctly.

#1: monday morning. dark, snowy with the glowing lights of my favorite morning ritual. I do love my americanos. sigh.

so what did your week "look" like?

Thursday, January 28, 2010


things that make me happy:

1. sitting at my computer at school in the morning and cranking my music.
2. having my morning coffee with said music blaring.
3. silence in the evening when the kids are in bed.
4. that God answers prayers.
5. that we are so darn close to closing this house deal - this time next week!
6. that apple named the new geek toy an iPad. seriously, apple. now I don't want one. it will be kinda uncool to pull my pad out of my purse. thank you for saving me a ton of money, apple. thank you.
7. friends that understand why I don't always call - and they're okay with it.
8. too tired to think of a #8 and since 7 8 9 [seven ate nine? haha!], we never get to 10. yeah. too tired.

good night, kids. talk atcha tomorrow!

Thursday, January 21, 2010


I'm having a hard time with that right now. these last two weeks have been almost unbearable in many ways. emotionally draining and a huge toll on my mental health. and yet, so little of it is really about me. the whole mortgage/house/stress thing is one thing. seriously, in light of all things good and special, it's low on the list of importance. exciting, but nicely in it's place. then the whole funeral thing last week has lead to some sacrifice this week, dealing with the aftermath in a 15 year old boy who really doesn't know how to deal with grief. we've had to put our plans on hold to do what we can to comfort and support and rally around, as a family. the strain has been hugely on me, however, just because of all the communication stuff. and this is what I do in my job at school - counsel, support, cry with, hug, fix, care for - with kids the same age. and then there was all the other stuff that was last week. and now today. I got some news this morning that a good friend of mine had a brain aneurysm last night. I am selfishly saying, "God, now I'm at the too-much point". my heart is so sad. she is in critical condition, but it's really critical. and yes, I know her family is really going through it BIG TIME and I am not that close to be in that circle, but I have been just so disconnected today. so sad. so shocked. all the house drama and stress seems so minor in comparison.

so, I came home and hugged my kids and john. because I can. I cooked dinner. because I can. I prayed with some friends. because it's the only thing I can do. and tomorrow, I will do the same. and the next day after that. just reminders that life is so precious. time is a gift. relationships are everything. stuff means so little. I want to be the person who spends more time kissing my kids than picking out tile. I want to invest more energy into my students that into choosing a dishwasher. I want to slow down and spend valuable minutes with a sad 15 year old than go to an exercise class.

what do you need to do today to connect with what really matters? I know what I need to do.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

sweet caroline

so we put the first bit of money down on the new, new house. eeekkkk! now, we have a few weeks to get all the financing in place [which is mainly done], deliver our down payment and sign the contract. John & I are in a bit of a daze. we never imagined that we'd be able to own a new home, so this is pretty COOL! once we get the "part B" stuff in place, I'll start taking pictures! although we are really sad about having to leave our community, we know this is the best move for our family. our kids will stay at the same school and dayhome, since we'll only be ten minutes farther away; as of right now it seems really feasible for us and them. did I tell you that we are moving west? yeah. as west as you can move without leaving the city. we back onto 215 street. betcha half of you didn't even know edmonton went that far west [fair enough, so you're not all from edmonton!!]. anyways, if this is all I talk about for the next six months, forgive me. I am pretty excited [but trying not to be until EVERYTHING is in place].

Monday, January 18, 2010

bust a move

so, I am sitting here, alone in my house, waiting for john to come home and tell me that we've put an offer on a house. not just a house, but a new build. EEEEKKKKK! I am totally beyond freaking out. I didn't think I was this much of an adult. and let's be honest, house or no house, I am still not much of an adult in my brain. but, I am freaking. and so hoping that we've made the right choice. was there a right? or just a best in this moment? not too sure. honestly, I believe that everything happens for a reason, and this house seems to just need us, the way it's all come together. sigh. just need john to come home. I'll keep you posted on the deets...

Thursday, January 14, 2010

lean on me

going for the list thing again. I like lists.

1. remember when I said that I felt discontented. it was for a reason.
2. john and I applied for a mortgage this week. we should know soon. I think. eeekkk!
3. went to chad's uncle's funeral today. nothing to say on that front. funerals are never fun.
4. I drank with connie last night while we watched all our wed night shows. wine + friend = needed big time.
5. found out some pretty rough stuff this week about a friend. things I knew, but never really knew the way I know now. now I'm sad.
6. went and saw sugar sammy perform at the winspear on tuesday night with john. it was to raise money for the franklin foundation. good night, great cause.
7. someone from my past contacted me this week via facebook. wants to do coffee. long and complicated. not too sure what to expect. tomorrow night.
8. the olympic torch went through here last night. cool beans.
9. I am forcing my kids at school to read the Hobbit. I think I am liking more than they are. it's all good!
10. I can't really think of a number 10. it's really been an overwhelming week and I've felt emotional and a bit crazy. like I said on #1, discontented. out of sorts. so, I'd better put my big girl panties [HATE that word!] on and face the wind as it begins to change. wish me luck.

Monday, January 11, 2010

I say a little prayer

have I used that title yet?

1. sore throat. grrr.
2. president of the bad mom's club - yes, that'd be me. wearing the crown today.
3. it's monday. grrr.
4. why do kids at school tell me things? I hold too much knowledge.
5. why are my kids at school so mean to each other? must they name call and torment? really?
6. big appointment tomorrow. totally stressed. tomorrow has the potential to set the path for what's to happen to the fraser family in 2010 [in a good way!]
7. chad's uncle passed away this weekend. feeling pretty crappy about that.
8. I'm not liking my kids very much right now. I love them dearly, but they are driving me NUTS.
9. glad that there is real tv back on this week - YEAH HOUSE!
10. discontent. the word that currently describes my state of mind. change is in the air. I don't like change, unless I'm the boss of it!!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

walkin' on sunshine

so yesterday was down right dismal. poor showing on the scale. myself had a serious talk with me. as in: if you want this to really happen, then own it. all of it. the mistakes. the overeating. the bingeing. the fast food. the snacks. all of it. just own it. I did it. I chose it. every little bite. then, once I've owned it, I need to fix this. just do better today, then do better again tomorrow. and just continue at that pace. I am sick of being fat. and if I say it, and believe it, then really I can fix it. enough already. although it's not been two sugar free days, it's been two candy free days. and tomorrow I will just keep on going.

the stress in my life is just another excuse to put off me. enough already. I need to realize that there will always be stress. there will always be busy things going on. there will always be kids that need me both at home and at school. there will always be a lack of sleep and occasions and celebrations. all the excuses I've used to allow myself to eat crap. enough already.

one goal. one day. tomorrow: no candy. lots of water. eat because I'm hungry. I can do this. there is a much better looking me beneath all the layers of guilt and fat and self-loathing. it's time to deal with me.

okay. too much honesty. I can only take myself in doses!

Friday, January 08, 2010

you can't always get what you want

it's been a tough week. the first week back after a short break is always hard, but this week has been tough in a different way. found out some stuff about an old student this week that has me pretty moody. I don't really want to share all the details in such a public place, but regardless, I am in a bit of a mood. down right bitchy. the "feel sorry for myself" part of my brain just wonders if all the time and energy I invest in my kids is worth it. the "get over yourself, cor" part of my brain tells me that I need to get over myself [obviously] because what I get to do with and for kids every day is so beyond me. either way, I am eating to make up for my moodiness. because we all know that helps. yeah, right.

speaking of which [great segue, eh?], I have done an okay job of tracking most everything this week. I think it may be time to do a sugar purge tomorrow. I am in a sugar induced coma. and dealing with some pretty heavy sugar cravings. detox would do my body good. keep me accountable, okay? and, tomorrow is weigh in day. little bit nervous about that. grrr. maybe I'll drink a couple litres of water and crawl into bed.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010


same post last year at this time. I dare ya. go check. I wrote about watching the canadian boys play against the russians for the world junior hockey championship. tonight it's against the americans. then these commercials came on:

I just hope I get to here the canadian anthem at the end of the third period - at the end of the second it is tied at 3. and and this year, it's getting me in the mood for some olympic hockey. GO CANADA!

ETA: we lost, but played incredibly hard. I will wear red tomorrow regardless...

Monday, January 04, 2010

taking chances

survived the first day back at school. did more than survive, actually. I quite enjoyed my day. It was seriously good to be back in the game! okay, so maybe honestly I was ready to go home at lunch for a nap, but other than that it was good.

and it was a good eating day. I generally stayed the course...which is considerably better than being totally derailed by 10am. and, I did my exercise class tonight. one hour of torture. it's all good!

and now, the wood is on tv. mmmm. taye diggs. I used to think he was a hottie [pre-john]. watching this movie, I remember why I thought that!

Sunday, January 03, 2010

proud mary

wow. I'm speechless. [only because I can't really think of anything to write about, not because I am shocked or anything!]

so I'm going to share some pics of some of the creating I did during the glee-o-rama of 2010. that and a picture of the stack of chipboard I cut for club! these are taken with my iPhone in poor lighting, so they are mediocre at best. all supplies are stampin' up! [except the giant paper clip - the lovely felt flower is SU!, the clip is not]. oh, and got the new year's card idea from someone else - totally NOT my original thought. not even remotely.

everything else [card wise] was me trying to use up supplies that I had cut for club, classes, etc. I had paper cut, just wanted to use it all up!

school starts again tomorrow - as odd as it sounds, I am happy to be going back.
have a great monday!

Saturday, January 02, 2010

defying gravity

what's your word? seems to me that susan & I did this last year. need to go check...

holy freaky batman. so, in order to find THIS post, I also found these two posts: jan 1/09 and jan 2/09. turns out last year, I spent ALL of new years day in my pj's [last year I was sick, this year no excuse except a GLEE marathon of happiness and song]. I also made the exact same thing for breakfast last year. wow. I'm strangely predictable.

anyways, back to the word. last year, my word was LIFE - and it was about choosing life. did I accomplish this on any level? maybe yes, maybe no. perhaps it should be sometimes yes and sometimes no. maybe in fact, more yes than no. I'd be curious to poll the people in my life and see what they think. they may totally disagree!

so, do I pick the same word? to I aim for the same kind of life? in a lack of complete accomplishment, I feel inclined to keep the same. in not really wanting to live in the past, perhaps I pick something else. something that is kinda like the next step forward. I am leaning towards the word "inspire". it takes me beyond myself and maybe encourages me to inspire goodness and life in others. is that to lofty? not sure. it would definitely require changes in my own attitude and behaviours [like my trucker mouth!]. guess I've kinda decided.


what word will you choose to define your year - what will set your tone? your philosophy? your mission? your vision?

Friday, January 01, 2010


so, whatcha up to today? me, nothing. seriously. I am waiting for the boys to clear out, then I will wash the floors, and put GLEE on - and then clean my craft space. my dear husband is taking the boys to his mom's house for the morning. he'll be gone for most of the day. I love him.

let's see if I can manage a top 10 of sorts this morning:
the top 10 happy moments of 2009...[okay, and my order is out of order because I am writing them as I think of them!]

10. nate reading books to his brother
9. wednesday night exercise and tv watching with connie
8. wednesday "off-campus" lunches
7. trip to vegas
6. trip to osoyoos
5. vancouver half marathon
4. kelowna half marathon
3. trip to ottawa
2. hitting my 10% mark
1. coffee - seriously. with my mom. with my sister. with my friends. every morning. with john. at home. at starbucks. at school.

okay, so as suspected, there were a lot more as I started writing. christmas parties, birthday parties, canada day parties. a good, good year.

what are your top 10 happy moments?