Saturday, December 31, 2011

I fought the law

call it what you want:  my year in review.  or top ten things I would scrapbook.  or the things I'm thankful for in twenty-eleven.

regardless, I've been hunting for pics to support this wee list!  and apparently I take a lot of pictures with my iphone!

it was a super, super long winter.  there was WAY too much snow, but I am grateful that our cars made it through.  the times we got stuck, it was always close to home.  and trust me, in a car the size of mine, that's a big deal!  john got a new job in february - very close to home.  we only had to deal with unemployment for about a month, which was a good, good thing.  on the flip side, we've had to learn how to deal with shift work.  okay.  I've had to learn how to deal with it!!

 and the spring was all about soccer.  which was interesting considering the change to john's work schedule.  there was lots of driving, lots of car pooling and lots of games.  I love being a soccer mom and watching my boys play!

 this year, nate finished grade two and started grade three.  and ty moved from kindergarten into grade one.  the picture above nate is of ty's feet.  he received an award at school last spring - for citizenship - and he was too embarrassed to get up in front of the whole school to receive it!  so he sat on my lap and his principal brought the award to him!  

 I spent most of the spring training for the edmonton entact marathon.  my mom, sister, dad and I all walked the half marathon.  my mom and I finished in 3:30.  and it was HOT.  I was happy with our time; for me, it was one of my better races.
I went to las vegas at the beginning of july.  it was a nice break from the crazy of the school year.

 john and I took the boys to osoyoos {bc} this summer for two weeks.  it was hot and we lived in the pool and at vineyards for two whole weeks.  it was relaxing and crazy and lovely.  we are blessed to be able to vacation there every couple of years.

 new tattoo in september.  story of why is here.

 the fall was super busy - as it usually is - ty in school full time, me taking on a new teaching assignment, and all the other general busy that the fall brings.  in there somewhere, I learned how to ride a longboard and instantly I was hooked.  I LOVE IT!  I need to buy a board in the spring.

 john and I went to vegas in december so that I could do half marathon number two!  two halves make a whole, right?  we also got most of our christmas shopping done.  yeah!

the bling from vegas!  it's HEAVY!

and then, since I'm now the music teacher, I was the boss of christmas concert at school.  and dispite all the stress and crazy that lead up to the night, my kids totally kicked it out of the park!

I have had a good year.  it was hard, busy, crazy and blessed.  and I need to do this more often, just so I remember the good.  the happy.  and why I'm thankful.  'cause I am.

happy new years, peeps.  I'll see you tomorrow on the flip side!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

going to graceland

so, it's time for some review.  a look back in order to make a path forward, right?  only I feel like the three steps I've made forward in 2011 were countered by the five steps I took backwards.  it's not suppose to be like that, right?  however, I feel like I have made some gains emotionally.  but I've yet to discover if they are positive or negative.  so then are they gains?  I would say yes.  because I am aware.  more aware then perhaps I wanted to be.  and yet, I have not committed myself into the local mental hospital.  so yes, progress.

so although this is my official "one-word-year-end-up-date" for twenty-eleven, there are a couple of things I want to commit to over the next few days:

first, I just pulled up my blog post from dec 31st of last year - just to check my head space.  I did a top ten things that I was thankful for in twenty-ten.  I'm going to do that again.  join me, and send me your links if you want to do the same!

second, I'll post my "one word" for twenty-twelve on new years day.  I haven't figured out what I want to do with that yet, although there is a lingering thought in the front of my brain that is looking for some exploration.

okay.  my one word update.  last year I wrote THIS.  it was my word, my thoughts behind my word.  all of that stuff.

I feel like this year, grace showed up at the table and we have been fighting ever since.  {I'm going to site THIS post from carlos whittaker for my analogy on this one.}  I feel like grace and I are at war - like siblings over a misunderstanding.  you never remember where it starts, but the grudge just continues to hold.  and no one is gonna give up the fight.  I have been tantruming for a long time.  we all know that.  I have been having 5 year old hissy fits with god for a long, long time.

and then, grace shows up.

and she showed me who she was.  and I don't feel worthy.  so I fight.  and I think right now, we're in the cage.  me with my moves of denial, sin, loathing.  her with her moves.  those serious bad ass ones that I don't think I deserve.  and when I tire of the fight and start to let her win, it's like I give in for a moment and get a taste of what could be in my life, then just because, I feel the need to prove that I'm a bad ass too and I kick it up a notch.  so right now, I'm in a headlock.  she's fierce.  powerful.  relentless.  and I need to cave soon.  I am tired.  weak.  worn.  and totally in need of grace.  far beyond what I can even comprehend.  I need her to be my new best friend.  to be part of my essence.  part of a new way of doing business.  grace has kicked my ass this year.  and I'm still not getting it.  I am effing dumb sometimes.  that's not new news either.

but, I am still standing {not in the metaphor anymore peeps - 'cause there, I'm on the ground, in a head lock!!}.  I'm not super crazy {yes, that's up for debate}.  I've dropped the ball on many relationships.  but I've picked up the ball on being a bit more hands on in my parenting.  I'm still a mess.  but I am considering this year to be one of progress.  and of hope.  those three steps forward were HUGE.  those five steps back were baby steps.  and although I never want to admit it, grace is winning.  and will win.  and then I'll give her a big high five and take her into the garage to smoke a cigar.

glad to have y'all around on the crazy train!!  xo

Monday, December 26, 2011

I can't stop loving you

can I have a christmas re-do?  like with more sleep and less cranky kids?  I thought that teaching right up until the 23rd would be a good thing; in theory it is.  we kept the pre-christmas crazy to a minimum and routines totally in place.  and, being the genus we all know I am, I planned the school christmas concert for the 22nd.  once again, in theory it was a good idea.  you know, for all the teachers needing to rehearse.  not necessarily for the person doing all the planning - me.  I've been going non-stop for two weeks now.  so, I know that I post all of these pictures on twitter, but now, I'll tell the story of crazy with all of them!

 {dress rehearsal...they were so super cute!}

 {played the piano for the christmas eve service at church.  it was packed in there and the band was HOT.  I'm so lucky to play with such amazing musicians.}

 {then we went to john's mom's house for a christmas eve meal and to open gifts.  the boys got skateboards and new hockey jerseys.  and I FORCED them to watch "the sound of music"!  it was a lovely night, but a late one.}

 {john worked for 8hrs on christmas day, so we got the kids up at 6am to open stockings.  john left for work at 645 and the boys and I hung out and watched christmas movies.  once it got light out, the boys were outside with their new skateboards.}

 {we hosted christmas brunch this year.  my whole family came over.  we ate food.  we opened presents.  it was crazy and lovely all at the same time!  lego, hockey pads, hotwheel sets and nerf guns.  happy, happy boys!}

 {and then it all fell apart.  we went to my mom & dad's for dinner - just getting there was a hassle!!  kids were tired and so was the mom.  shocking, I know!  we got home and ty had a major meltdown over batteries.  I yelled.  he yelled.  nate cried.  john just stood there and shook his head.  I may have said that I hated christmas.  nate put his coat on and said he was going to run away to a place where they didn't celebrate christmas, since I had wrecked it.  ty was going ballistic, because he thought it was my fault that the stores were closed on christmas day.  I threw all the hockey equipment into the other room and threatened to throw it away.  one of my finest moments.  about twenty minutes later, they were both asleep.  and john and I built the boys new hockey net.  so not a great way to end the day, but I have learned that crazy busy for too many days in a row is just not good for me.  and my parenting skills.}

 {and this morning we all slept, woke up happy, said sorry to each other, gave and received hugs and kisses and then the boys dressed in their gear and hit the pavement for a while.}

 {and I pulled out real pucks, since we have a net now}

{and they played hockey.  on the driveway.  in their pjs.  and once again, all is well in their worlds.  and mine.}

and now it's time to take a shower, go buy some groceries {and batteries} and maybe go to toys r us.  they want to brave the crowds.  and apparently, I'm their driver!  

happy christmas, everyone.  and today - happy boxing day!!  

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

blue suede shoes

24 hrs.  less than, actually.  and the christmas concert will be done.  my stress will be gone.

I just hope all the work is worth it - the extra rehearsals, transposing music, building sets, the running around, the painting, the decorating...thank goodness for the great people that help me get through it all.

better yet, in mere days I get to park it on the couch and watch tv.  for two weeks.  oh, and drink LOTS of coffee.  and blog.  and think.  and read.  sweet amazing loveliness.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

don't be cruel

december is a busy one.  holy dinah!  add a four day trip to vegas in there just didn't help.  needless to say, I had a good weekend home with the boys last weekend.  we baked cookies and decorated the tree. oh, and apologies if you follow me on twitter. there's a good chance you've seen most of these!

 {my favourite ornament.  it plays music!}

 {the boys and the tree}

 {me trying to re-live vegas; rum & coke in john's new hard rock glass}

 {ty lost his first tooth last night.  he just yanked that sucker out!}

 {I am totally as tired as I look}

{saw one of my former students in this production.  pretty cool!}

this up coming weekend/week are CRAZY.  staff xmas party, xmas concert at school, secret santa...oh, and I'd better wrap some gifts because I work until the 23rd and it's going to be slightly busy!!

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

little less conversation

how hard is it?  

people confuse me.  not the people in my life; I like those ones.  but the general public?  THEY confuse me.  
I’ve learned something this week.  I am ordinary.  I’m good at a lot of things and equally awful at as many things.  my personal best is the only thing I can ever try topping.  I am my own competition.  yet, I am ordinary.  I just now think that “ordinary” is underrated.  everyone {okay, I know not everyone, but you know what I mean!!} in our western society believes they’re special.  just turn on the tv and watch any reality show out there.  everyone has talent, they can sing, dance and survive.  everyone is special.  and therefore our perspective is messed.  effed up.  it’s like being an ordinary human being is somehow a bad thing.  it’s not.  I know, because I’m ordinary.
I’ve realized that in everyone’s specialness, that general {ordinary?} decency is slowly eroding.  in the last four days, I’ve had nearly half a dozen people tell me how nice I am.  okay.  we all know that I am NOT “nice”.  I’m a smart ass.  I’m mouthy.  I can really be a bitch.  I am cranky and a bit rough around the edges.  so today, after getting a hug from the girl in the hard rock cafe store, I started thinking about this whole thing.  she told me I had made her day.  honestly, I was drunk and a bit chatty.  and maybe I laughed at the disaster area that came out of my purse when I was looking for a coupon.  I think I was just ordinary {an ordinary drunk, in this case!}.  and I’ve had this all week.  and no, it’s not just a cori-drinking-thing.  it’s saying hello to the clerk in the store.  it’s saying thank you to service people.  it’s holding a door open.  it's smiling.  it’s holding to all things canadian and just apologizing when you bump into people with your big-ass bag!!  apparently, what I consider ordinary, other people consider extraordinary.  this bothers me.
here’s the deal:  none of you are special.  not a single one of you.  you, like me, are good at lots of things and awful at lots of other things.  you’ve made mistakes.  poor choices.  and you’ve done spectacular things.  and yet, you’re not special.  like me, you’re completely ordinary.  
let’s reclaim the ordinary.  just be kind.  be good to others.  make someone’s day.

oh, and of course, some pictures of my ordinary {or extraordinary} weekend:

 {me this morning, heading out to get some coffee}

 {the start of the was a LONG day!}

 {we love the old and tacky.  nothing beats the flamingo for both of those...!!}

 {john & I at hard rock cafe}

 {tribute to the killers...and las vegas}

 {close-up of the christmas tree at the venetian}

{the bling at the end of the race!}