Friday, December 31, 2010

awake my soul

{#100} has arrived.

I think a couple of days ago I was saying that I was going to make this post about the things I am thankful for in twenty-ten.  I look back on the year and really all I see is stress, change, stress and more stress.  so to wrap up a month focused on joy, I am going to make a list of things I am thankful for.  I need to not look at this past year as awful, but as a series of events that have brought me to where I am today and today, I am in a completely different place than I was 364 days ago.  and this is such a good thing.

if I have learned one thing this december, it is this:  a thankful heart is a joy-filled heart and vice versa. joy walks beside thankfulness.  so I am hereby devoting {#100} to the top ten things I am thankful for in twenty-ten.

1.  health.  okay, so other than my dad's heart event in october, our family has had good health.  and considering the heart event, I do not take this for granted.

2.  jobs.  as we embark on hopefully a short, short, SHORT season of unemployment, I am thankful that john & I were both employed with decent jobs.  yes, today was john's last day of work.  pray that he finds something quickly!

3.  family.  I rant and rave about my kids frequently.  they drive me crazy and are the source of much pain and suffering [ha!], but I love them to death.  and my world would not be as enjoyable, as comedic or as memorable without them.  and don't get me started on my extended family.  couldn't be sane without them.  seriously.

4.  church.  this year it feels like our church is more like home.  like it's less work and like relationships are deeper.

5.  our house.  we made an extremely adult decision this past year and bought our own house.  that whole process came with so much stress this spring, but it was worthwhile being homeless for six weeks, living with john's mom, commuting across the city for soccer three times a week....!

6.  the emotional meltdown that came after the stress.  I am continuing to learn things about myself that I never thought I needed to learn.  and although I am pretty freaked out by the self-inspection that is being done in my life, I know that this super messy, crazy journey is a good thing.  good because it's brought me to a place where I've stopped having a massive temper tantrum.  good because I now have a bigger understanding of grace.  and good because who I am today is not who I want to be next year at this time.

and now on a less serious note...
7.  shopping in vegas.  both times.

8.  seeing erika in seattle over thanksgiving

9.  working with really cool people - I like my job [yes, I already said that!]

10.  I know there are a ton of things that I am forgetting.  or neglecting.  my brain is foggy at best today.  but I think I'll make this last one about relationships - in person, on-line, students, colleagues, family, husband, friends...I have been challenging to be in relationship with this past year.  I know this.  I have been unreliable, self-focused, selfish, temperamental, hormonal and sometime just down right crazy.  but there are a whole lot of people that stand beside me in one way or another.  and when I look back on this year, these are the people who understand and love me regardless of all my crap.  they have my back.  they have demonstrated grace when I didn't think it could exist.  and for this I am so thankful.  and joy-filled.

oh, and thank you sarah for coming up with this lovely joy project.  I needed it more than you'll ever know!

happy new years, peeps.  see you on the flip side!

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