Saturday, September 05, 2009


it has taken me 9 flippin' months, but I finally reached my 10% weight loss goal. HOLY DINAH! perhaps my new goal can be to do the next 10% in a third of that time! regardless, there is 10% less of me today than when I first got on that evil scale. I have walked a half marathon in that time, did close to 8 weeks of bikram yoga, and have begun training for another half. I ate an unknown quantity of fat-free cool whip. and I am gaining control of my life in so many areas. that's that part that feels really great. okay, looking better in my clothes feels pretty decent too. so the next goal is not monumental and I hope it's without a ton of fanfare, but the last time I lost some weight [like 3 years ago] I couldn't get below a 25 lb weight loss. SO. I need to lose 7 more pounds to get past that hurdle. since I started at a higher weight this time, it will be closer to 28lbs gone when I get to that point, but regardless that next 7lbs are pretty important ones. the weight I will be at that point is not one that I can ever recall being in my adult life. okay, so I have a short memory and didn't actually weigh myself for an entire decade, but I'm still going with it.

I did some reading on weight loss plateaus recently and the word that resounded was: PERSEVERE. hold on. endure. press on. I am reminded of a Donnie McClurkin song from over 10 years ago where it says:
Tell me what do you do when you've done all you can, And it seems like you can't make it through, Child you just stand, You just stand, Stand, Don't you give up, Through the storm , through the rain, Through the hurt , through the pain...Don't you bow, don't bend Don't give up, don't give in Hold on, just be strong...

there's a whole bunch more, but this is the part that resonates. just be strong. don't give up. it applies to so many things, doesn't it...

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

it's been two weeks since my last confession.

yeah. school has started.

today was a pretty okay day over all - the school part of my life is fairly predictable, fairly routine and occasionally over-the-top drama. today was good.

nate started grade one today, and I was a bad mom. he went to school with another kid, not a parent in sight. now, I know that doesn't really make me a bad mom, because I know darn well that the reason he had a good start to his day is because there was no adult there to cling to and cry with. I know my kid. on the other hand, the time between 5 pm and 7 pm has left a lot to be desired. I know he's tired. I am too. I know he worked hard today. I did too. I know he should be in bed. I should be too. tired mom, tired kid. not a great combination. good thing I get another go at this whole mom thing tomorrow. maybe one day I'll get it right. for today, I'll wear the crown of "bad mom" and tomorrow I will strive to leave it on the shelf. tomorrow, John and I will begin with plan A. I don't really want to jinx it by talking about it, but it does have to do with being fully attentive to our children and NOT our computers, tv's, iPhones, etc for the hours of 4-7pm. I know the problem is with us, not solely with them. I can fix me, especially when I don't feel like I can fix them right at this moment. phew.