post #500

holy dinah.

don't even know how to make this "#500-worth". perhaps I could be eloquent. yeah, don't think so. perhaps I could be funny. doubt that one too. I may be able to produce pictures...THAT will work! thank you for reading all the time, lovely blog-readers...some of you are new, but some of you are old friends. I appreciate each of you!

xoxo

[a reminder of what I'll be doing tomorrow - dealing with batman and his little brother...batman!]

potential

do you see your potential? do you do things that may be risky, knowing that there is a good chance you'll succeed? yeah, me neither. turns out that I think I need a coach. I coach a lot of people - I think it's the teacher in me - I see potential in people who don't see it in themselves, while I sit here not seeing it at all in my own self. odd, eh? for me there's always been a fine line between confidence and arrogance and in trying so hard not to be arrogant, my confidence has turned to mush.

I have this huge deal presentation at a pd session on monday. I was REALLY stressed about it. like over the top stressed. well, I had a chat with one of my coaches and realized that he wouldn't have asked me to step on the ice if he didn't really believe that I couldn't score the goal. within that conversation, I found peace. he believes in me. it gave me permission to believe in myself. although I still have no clear view of my potential, my coaches do. and there are more of them out there than I realize - maybe it's time to start trusting what they have to tell me.

and in other news...

yeah, so overwhelmed with the above presentation that there hasn't been other news!!!

xoxo

crazy, crazy!

1. survived the kelowna marathon experience. it was bloody cold. it took every ounce of my energy to stay warm. totally nuts.

3:32:12 10:04  Cori Fraser             Edmonton, AB

2. did thanksgiving dinner with the family today. fun stuff. mmmmmm. turkey!

3. I don't get really excited about movie releases, but I'm excited about this one:

4. how did it get to be the middle of october already?

5. and just a preview of what may be a VERY fun halloween:

have you met batman, and his brother batman?

have a great week, folks!

things I am thankful for

1. september is over

2. I lost 4 pounds, then gained it back, then lost a few. SHEESH!

3. I have a great class at school.

4. I get to walk the second half of my marathon this weekend [the first half I did in may - in vancouver]. off to kelowna tomorrow!

5. glee [DON'T STOP BELIVIN']

6. football games in september. love the cfl. love the esks. love those september games!

7. Nate LOVES school and gets 100% on his word wall words almost every week.

8. club started again and I MISSED CLUB!

9. small group started up again. I sure enjoy that too!

10. pumpkin spice lattes. no wonder I gained 4 lbs in one week. I do order mine as a triple and non-fat, HOWEVER...still all that SUGAH!

so yes, I've not blogged in a month. it is THAT month though, so I know you all understand! I will be better. I promise!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!! what are you thankful for?

10%

it has taken me 9 flippin' months, but I finally reached my 10% weight loss goal. HOLY DINAH! perhaps my new goal can be to do the next 10% in a third of that time! regardless, there is 10% less of me today than when I first got on that evil scale. I have walked a half marathon in that time, did close to 8 weeks of bikram yoga, and have begun training for another half. I ate an unknown quantity of fat-free cool whip. and I am gaining control of my life in so many areas. that's that part that feels really great. okay, looking better in my clothes feels pretty decent too. so the next goal is not monumental and I hope it's without a ton of fanfare, but the last time I lost some weight [like 3 years ago] I couldn't get below a 25 lb weight loss. SO. I need to lose 7 more pounds to get past that hurdle. since I started at a higher weight this time, it will be closer to 28lbs gone when I get to that point, but regardless that next 7lbs are pretty important ones. the weight I will be at that point is not one that I can ever recall being in my adult life. okay, so I have a short memory and didn't actually weigh myself for an entire decade, but I'm still going with it.

I did some reading on weight loss plateaus recently and the word that resounded was: PERSEVERE. hold on. endure. press on. I am reminded of a Donnie McClurkin song from over 10 years ago where it says:

Tell me what do you do when you've done all you can, And it seems like you can't make it through, Child you just stand, You just stand, Stand, Don't you give up, Through the storm , through the rain, Through the hurt , through the pain...Don't you bow, don't bend Don't give up, don't give in Hold on, just be strong...

there's a whole bunch more, but this is the part that resonates. just be strong. don't give up. it applies to so many things, doesn't it...

it's been two weeks since my last confession.

yeah. school has started.

today was a pretty okay day over all - the school part of my life is fairly predictable, fairly routine and occasionally over-the-top drama. today was good.

nate started grade one today, and I was a bad mom. he went to school with another kid, not a parent in sight. now, I know that doesn't really make me a bad mom, because I know darn well that the reason he had a good start to his day is because there was no adult there to cling to and cry with. I know my kid. on the other hand, the time between 5 pm and 7 pm has left a lot to be desired. I know he's tired. I am too. I know he worked hard today. I did too. I know he should be in bed. I should be too. tired mom, tired kid. not a great combination. good thing I get another go at this whole mom thing tomorrow. maybe one day I'll get it right. for today, I'll wear the crown of "bad mom" and tomorrow I will strive to leave it on the shelf. tomorrow, John and I will begin with plan A. I don't really want to jinx it by talking about it, but it does have to do with being fully attentive to our children and NOT our computers, tv's, iPhones, etc for the hours of 4-7pm. I know the problem is with us, not solely with them. I can fix me, especially when I don't feel like I can fix them right at this moment. phew.

with a cherry on top

so, I've been feeling really out of sorts this last bit. I've blamed it on too much family time [the love-hate relationship of vacation!], not enough sleep, not enough booze, the time change, the weather...I even commented to john last week when I was all weepy and weird, the I thought I may be pregnant. THAT'S how out of sorts I was. just cranky. did it occur to me that I was pms'ing? no! that was still a week away! yeah. it explains EVERYTHING [and so no, not pregnant!]. needless to say, while on vacation, I've been going to weight watchers meetings. in the US. in oroville. I tell ya, they are the NICEST people. some lady gave me a cucumber from her garden tonight! such a small gathering, but I was totally inspired. last week and again tonight. last week I was down .4 and this week down .2 - not too bad considering the above confession...and being on vacation! not to mention, I normally have a 3-4lb span between am and pm. in edmonton, I go to a morning meeting. here, it was 5pm. if I haven't kicked some ass when I weigh in at home, I'll be surprised. anyways, that's the story.

tonight I am sitting an enjoying the heat. and some cherries. and a glass of gehringer bros. merlot. life is good.

two for the price of one

just found this:

"One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries."

{a.a. milne}