Sunday, December 31, 2006

a few pics!

so, I've been fairly stampy lately :) I thought I'd share a few of my newest creations!
the first two cards are the same design, just different colours [I ran out of bashful blue...grrrr], but I kinda like the cool carribean one better. who knew!

the day of the eve of the last day of the...

okay, well you get the idea! I love new years eve day. almost as much as christmas eve day. people are friendly out and about. there is an air of anticipation, hope and promise wherever you go today. people are excited and happy. I like that. okay, well I guess it's easy for me to comment before I even head out the door. I will report back...when I get back!

eta: okay, I lied. people are miserable. grrr. doesn't mean I can't be happy, right?? SWEET!

Friday, December 29, 2006

I was doing okay until

I went to someone else's house and ate their crap. no seriously. yesterday was like my all-time best eating day in like 3 months. then I left my house. then all the resolve and strength and everything I had just turned to dust in my hands. wrong. just wrong, I say. k, so going cold turkey on the no sugar thing doesn't work for my psyche. but do I have to go overboard? every time? like all the treats in the world are going to be gone forever? yeah, no. one treat. one delectable little treat. one that is savoured and enjoyed and loved in the moment. it's always going to be there, wherever I go. like an alcoholic or a coke addict, the craving will always be there in some form. it's what I do with it that matters. I just don't need to eat like I will never have again.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

not too sure what I should title this one!

k, so I've spent the day doing nothing. not quite nothing, I have tided the kitchen - sorta, surfed the web for all things entertainment-ish/gossipy, played on scs, surfed everyone else's blogs, drank a shmuck load of coffee, watched the boys play, missed the sunrise [we were all still in bed at 10:30 this morning!], but watching the sunset [yeah, at 3:40...gotta LOVE edmonton!]. okay, so it's not like it's nothing, but nothing really productive. it's okay to have days like this, right? I did make a few phone calls today too...even better! have I thought about dinner??? yeah, nope. I am thinking about running the dishwasher...that would be productive. I am going out tonight...stamping at katherine's house. what can I say - boring life! and I LOVE it!!

today I have been working hard at drinking all of my water. I have had 4 glasses already, and a bottle sitting in front of me. mmmm. not feeling too motivated!

I've been thinking of listing in my blog the other blogs that I visit daily - would that be cheesy? maybe I should host a blogger-licious contest with prizes...would that be fun? mmmm. all the things a person can do!

nate is playing "going to connie's" and ty is throwing bottle lids around the living room. that means he got in the drawer...gotta go!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

some thoughts

so, my christmas cards will officially go into the mail tomorrow. I have to be honest, I have christmas card issues. who to send to...just out of town folks or friends and family. so, I am sending out a general apology to all of you who do not get a christmas card from the fraser family this year. a couple of things may have happened: a) I ran out of cards; b) I ran out of stamps; c) I just saw you in person; d) all of the above; e) what the heck am I doing worrying about christmas cards on boxing day for???

on another note, I am now back to speaking "ctu": "the only reason you're not dead is because I don't want to carry you", "is that an active protocol?", "chloe, can you run an interface on that?"...yeah, it's awful around here [hehehe!!]. we are re-watching season 5 in anticipation for season 6 in...18 days!

and have I told you how much I LOVE the new iPod that has become a member of our family. little nano is making all of us happy!

I finally feel like I am back to normal...4 days after school was out - that's how long it takes me to decompress [another "bauer-ism"]. I've had some good sleep and some time with a decent book and a ton of coffee...all that with the boys screaming around me. I am so glad that life can get back to normal so quickly! SO, if you are dying to do coffee, give me a hollar...I am around all week. alone. with kids.

some more pics!

thanks mom, these rock!

pics from the last few days!

Sunday, December 24, 2006

above all other days...

I love christmas eve. and I miss some of the traditions we had when we were kids. it used to be that we'd all pile into the van and go to my oma & opa's church on christmas eve, listen to the solders on the radio as we passed all the houses lit up on 137th ave. and maybe most memorable, going to oma & opa's house to open gifts and eat treats [dutch treats that we only got once a year - like marzipan or those little chocolates in the shapes of wreaths]. a couple of years ago [maybe just 2 years ago] it was decided that christmas eve would be at uncle hank's house instead. it just doesn't feel right. that was the same christmas that was john's mom's first christmas alone, so it seemed proper to start creating our own traditions with our own kids. so tonight, for the second year, we are going to spend christmas eve with john's mom. we'll open the gifts that the boys get from us, with her. and when all is said and done, we will try to make it to uncle hank's...just because. even though the tradition has changed, the people have not.

it will be a strange gathering without marcy & andrew and the kids. marcy is the "get-everyone-together-and-keep-the-conversation-going" sibling. we're going to miss that this year.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

so tired

I feel negligent. I have neglected my poor blog and the blogs of others. school is finally done and I am so exhausted. and I feel bad - I still haven't mailed out christmas cards; they're done, just not in the mail yet. and I've totally neglected my friends as of late...stuck in my own little world. it's only 7:30, but my bed calls. how sad is that? if I go to bed now so much stuff will just not get done...and who feels like wrapping gifts on christmas eve? yeah, not me. oh, and there is laundry that is calling my name. and yet, in light of all things good and special, my issues seem sorta insignificant and selfish. and if y'all are going to hold it against me that christmas cards didn't show up...well, you get the idea!

Suz, I just read your blog...I haven't been just not calling all week - I seriously had no idea. and I am really sorry.

and Shelley - thank you for the kind pm :o)

Saturday, December 09, 2006

a good saturday night!

so we took the boys to see candy cane lane's quite warm out, and the lane starts just a few blocks away. we bundled the boys up in their winter gear and headed outdoors. nate LOVED it and ty has decided that he can say the word santa - yeah, great going! good times, though...and that I enjoy!

Friday, December 01, 2006

not too sure even where to start

I think this has been one of my most intense teaching weeks of my career. as a result, I feel like I am in an impasse. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God has a plan for me and I know I am doing what I need to be doing with my life, but at this moment it just doesn't feel like it's enough. maybe I am just in denial about the spiritual aspect of my job. or maybe I am in tune with it and that's why this week was so incredibly difficult. I have a little girl in my class who is in so much crisis that I am paralyzed by my concern and so totally annoyed that I've let it get to me and on the other hand, know that if it didn't get to me, I would have to quit teaching. she has been an on going concern and this week it came to a head. her mom has no support network, no one to lean on and she is trying hard, but she's alone with a high, high needs child. and in all of the hurt and pain for this little girl and her mom, I keep hearing the words "hold on. perservere." how do I do this? how can teaching hurt so badly and affect me in such a raw way? I feel like this week has brought me to a crossroads. an impasse. I am on the verge of a huge career move. am I quitting teaching? yeah, not on your life. I have toyed with getting my masters degree in assessment, reading, special needs but I have decided I need to do crisis work with kids. okay, I didn't say that correctly. I already do crisis work with kids. I need to continue. it's okay to feel bad. it's okay to hurt. and it's okay to care. and cry. and do whatever I can to be Christ in their lives. I have thought about the path I need to take with my career and whether or not I would move in to a mentor/consulting role or whether I would pursue administration. I chose the latter. I need to remain in school. I need to stay where I am. I need to talk to Chris. and I need to go back to what I know: my job, my ministry, my life was made for this moment. I need to just perservere through the pain and grow into the woman-teacher-mother-wife-sister-daughter-friend I was born to be.