smile

I'm having a hard time with that right now. these last two weeks have been almost unbearable in many ways. emotionally draining and a huge toll on my mental health. and yet, so little of it is really about me. the whole mortgage/house/stress thing is one thing. seriously, in light of all things good and special, it's low on the list of importance. exciting, but nicely in it's place. then the whole funeral thing last week has lead to some sacrifice this week, dealing with the aftermath in a 15 year old boy who really doesn't know how to deal with grief. we've had to put our plans on hold to do what we can to comfort and support and rally around, as a family. the strain has been hugely on me, however, just because of all the communication stuff. and this is what I do in my job at school - counsel, support, cry with, hug, fix, care for - with kids the same age. and then there was all the other stuff that was last week. and now today. I got some news this morning that a good friend of mine had a brain aneurysm last night. I am selfishly saying, "God, now I'm at the too-much point". my heart is so sad. she is in critical condition, but it's really critical. and yes, I know her family is really going through it BIG TIME and I am not that close to be in that circle, but I have been just so disconnected today. so sad. so shocked. all the house drama and stress seems so minor in comparison.

so, I came home and hugged my kids and john. because I can. I cooked dinner. because I can. I prayed with some friends. because it's the only thing I can do. and tomorrow, I will do the same. and the next day after that. just reminders that life is so precious. time is a gift. relationships are everything. stuff means so little. I want to be the person who spends more time kissing my kids than picking out tile. I want to invest more energy into my students that into choosing a dishwasher. I want to slow down and spend valuable minutes with a sad 15 year old than go to an exercise class.

what do you need to do today to connect with what really matters? I know what I need to do.