and it burns, burns, burns...

I am announcing it here, folks. I think I am going crazy. my body is hating me. my brain is on a different planet. my hormones are out of control. and if I can remember, tomorrow I am making an appointment to see my doctor. I do believe I am in the beginning stages of menopause. now, many of you are going to pat me on the head and say, "there's no way! you're way too young!". well yes, and no. I am too young. but really, 38 is not that young. nor are genetics on my side. all of the women on my mom's side of the family were nearly done menopause by 40. seriously, I am going crazy. young or old doesn't matter at this point. at this point, I need some SERIOUS help.

and it starts with my kids. they make me want to SCREAM! I do not know how to de-bug their bad behaviour. their inability to go to sleep. their general sassy mouths and actions. their need to purposely break things. I am about two minutes from canceling nate's birthday party because it's 10:37 and he is still not asleep. grrr.

I've been out of sorts for months now and I've been able to blame it on all sorts of things going on in my life. I've been able to blame it on circumstances. yeah, not any more. it's all me, baby. [yes, I do believe my martyr attitude is to be blamed on my very severe PMS. go with it!] so yeah. if I remember, I will call my dr. tomorrow and make an appointment. I will get to the bottom of this. I will own it. and perhaps, I will also remember to make appointments for the boys to get their eyes checked and for ty to get his pre-k shots! EEEEEKKKKK!

I love my life, I love my life, I love my life...

:o)