Sunday, December 21, 2008

the crazy that is me

december, well really this whole fall, has been more insane than I could have imagined. I am so thankful that I made it through in one piece - there was a couple of times through october and november that I was questioning all of it. the course I was taking was a lot of work on a couple of levels. first, it was just a lot of extra work - projects, papers, professional reading, classes. but more importantly it was a lot of emotional work. I have been so indecisive about the direction I want to take in my career and completely baffled about my purpose as a mom, wife, teacher...all those important roles that define my life. that's perhaps been the problem - I've been really busy "doing" life and I've not really been connecting with my life. how oprah of me, eh? well, this fall has brought to light a few things. 1. I want an admin position. 2. I need to wait until ty is in school before I pursue further schooling. 3. I need to take care of me - mind, body, soul. 4. I really love my husband. 5. I don't want to turn off my life - I want to spend more time enjoying it. I spent even less time than normal with my friends, my support network. bad move. I gained 5 pounds and haven't worked out in FOREVER. was it worth it? don't know if I can answer that. I have good friends - friends that understand, support, get the lack of phone calls and coffee dates, but I also know that I don't want to ever abuse that generosity. I started at weight watchers a couple of weeks ago, so I feel like I am back on track in the health/weight department and I will figure out the whole workout thing in the new year! my kids are going to take some time - some love smothering will need to be the focus of the next two weeks - my wee ty was not a happy camper with the lovely schedule I was keeping.

so, my plan for my break: SCRAPBOOK!! send out Christmas cards [better late than never, right?], have coffee with some friends, get a pedi, potty train ty, drink wine, read some good books, lose 4 pounds, watch some tv...reconnect with some people that I'd like to spend some time with - good for the soul.

2 comments:

erika said...

I'VE MISSED YOU!!!!

susan said...

I've missed you too!!!! You, me, coffee...soon!!