st veronika

so there has been a rampage of bowel illness in this house for the last two weeks. first it was ty [took a half day off for that extravaganza] and then it was nate's turn last weekend [a lovely combination festival] and then this weekend it was me. too good to be true. I don't get sick very often [other than the odd cold/sinus gig], but this was a bit icky. so much so that I stayed home from school today - 'cause ewww gross. the kids are still not 100% and neither am I, but since I now own pepto bismol in several varieties, I feel like I can confidently leave the house.

all that, and I had an epiphany today. during my slight bought of energy this afternoon, and knowing that I couldn't stray more than 10 metres from the toilet, I did some packing [only 2 more weeks, folks!]. during my packing, I tried on some clothes and got a nice look at myself in the mirror. all that work I did last year to remove some poundage from this body has got to s*it. okay, not all of it. I will be SHOCKED if I get on the scale tomorrow morning and see that awful number I saw 18 months ago, but it is not where it was in October when I had hit my 10% mark. so I did something radical. I took some pictures. now, I took the pictures and that was a HUGE step for me. I am not quite ready to post them. but, I am ready to do something about them.

and today, I started doing what I know works...eating less, moving more. I ate less [and yes, it totally helped that I was sick and had no appetite!] and I went for a 4o minute walk this evening. thank you, little pink pill! and although I have so little motivation coupled with an enormous amount of stress, I think I can do the same thing tomorrow. and then we'll try again for wednesday. if I don't, then that AWFUL number will show up on the scale yet again and then it will take a big ol' smack upside the head to get me moving again. I am going to beat this "no motivation" thing with a good healthy dose of perseverance. we'll see if it works for me.