there is a close dance between night and day. between winter and spring. between grief and hope. when is that moment when you can say, "yes! there is more light than dark!"? I would argue it depends on which direction you're looking. when your feet are pointing east, you see it first. that pink, red, orange hue coming up as a warning to the sun. the dance. slight, varying moments in our lives that take it from dark to light and then into darkness again. so much not at our doing. so much of the spinning of this earth taking it's toll. its years. its moments.
but the things I know to be true remain. the human story is one of resilience. and redemption. and forgiveness. I'd like to think that my feet are pointing east, yet I await. I feel like I'm sitting in the dark, just waiting. and apparently I'm totally over thinking things. shocking.
I don't really know where I'm going with this post. I had an odd dream last night and I woke up feeling sad. disappointed. irritated. I hate that. I've been sick the last couple of days and the amount of work piling up is a bit crazy. hence the strange dream. darn cold meds! it could also be that the sun hasn't made an appearance in days. I see the clouds are breaking up right now, but the grey does change my mood.
in a couple of hours I get 24 hours of a kid-less house. I need to work on report cards more than anything in the world, but really I just want to sit. and I want to wish that all would be well in the world. that my friends who are the kindest, most giving people find fulfilling relationships. that my friends that would be the most absolute wonderful parents ever would be able to have healthy pregnancies. that the sting of death would be less. that change would move people from a place of insecurity and loss to a place of growth and hope. that the biggest risk that one of my friends is wanting to take will lead to some peace. I wish I could take my magic wand and just make the world better for all of them.
and that I'd just be able to choose joy. today. tomorrow. forever. without hesitancy or fear. remembering that the night isn't forever. joy comes in the morning.