Saturday, November 02, 2013

time warp

so first, if you've been checking up on me to see if I'm still around, thank you.  it's been just over two months since my last post and I'm sorry for not being around.  that said, apparently I've been on an accidental sabbatical.  or maybe not so accidental if you believe in "everything happening for a reason".  I did not begin september with the idea of taking a writing break, but as we head into november, a break was taken for me.  alas, rest.  kinda.  I could make the argument that spending some time blogging each day would have created less stress, but time is perhaps the thing that has been against me for the last while.

I can't remember the last time that a school start up has been this draining.  it's been busy in the past - I'll site last year on that front - but this has just been damn exhausting.  I am in bed at least one night a week, by 730/800.  and I sleep soundly for 10+ hrs.  that is unheard of in my world.  until now.  so sometimes taking care of myself and my boys becomes ridiculously important.  so there's my explanation.  thanks for sticking with me though.

so, I've had somethings on my heart lately, and they're too much for me to hold close.  I need to talk them out.  write them out.  process.

the changes I've had to go through in the last six months have been overwhelming.  they've all been work related, but considering I spend almost half of my day at work, well it's a pretty big thing.  there is nothing like huge change to develop some "in the field" research on how people deal with change.  how I deal with change.  I suck at it.  outwardly I'm really good at it, so people would say.  inwardly, I suck.

what I know to be true is that every change comes some sort of loss.  loss requires grieving.  and from the ashes, one must arise again.  hopefully a different person.  hopefully a better person.  unfortunately, often loss breaks people.  I am in the middle of a season that requires me to experience restoration.  hope.  joy.  it will come in the morning.  the sun always rises.  even on a season of dark loss.  this I know to be true.

I have a whole post on this.  I just need to mull it around in my head a bit more.

it's good to be back.

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