a new pic!

jen emailed this to me at school...we got to swing by her house on halloween & her mom and dad spoiled the boys and hauled out the camera! ty wouldn't let go of the coffee crisp...good taste in candy, I say!

I hate being sick...

it hit like a punch in the gut yesterday afternoon and only now do I feel half-way normal. not too sure if it was the flu or that gingerbread latte just hated me, but either way, it wasn't pretty. I feel bad leaving my kids at school for yet another day, and turns out they were fairly awful for the sub, but that isn't my fault. I just need to remember that. ah, the angst & guilt felt by mothers and teachers. speaking of which, why it is 10 pm and my kids are still awake??? grrr. that's what happens when nate falls asleep in the car!

speaking of which, I tried taking some pics of the boys this weekend; I'd like to get a christmas picture happening! it always happens that someone isn't smiling or doesn't looking at the camera.

k, so starbucks and I...

have a thing about the mug. now, I am not talking about just any run of the mill mug from the dollar store. no, no, no. the mug, the holder of the finest liquid known to man, is an art form. I want to be able to caress, with love, a mug that makes me happy. to wrap my hands around a mug that is pretty. it somehow makes coffee taste better. starbucks. now they have the mugs. I found one today - okay, so I found several, but I only bought two...one for me & one to ship to the queen of purple, 'cause it's purple. ANYHOO, I found a new mug and I am enjoying just looking at it! how crazy am I? yeah, don't answer that!

a few more pics!

I took these ones of ty last night...he LOVES nate's new hat! he was loving his new mittens, as well!

it's been a while...

boy, does life get out of control [busy!]. here are some pics from last night!

big smiles

nate & I took some pictures the other day...it's sometimes hard to get him smiling on camera; that's why I love these!

hi.

hi. my name is cori. I have issues. bread issues. grrr.

so, I've been off this week with a sore back & I've been following doctor's orders by icing & walking. but it's been sore. really sore. but I digress. so this morning, I drove john to work and had a thought. a cinnamon bun thought. an "I don't care if they are 467 calories" thought. the I-need-one-right-now thought. so I drove past cobs. wasn't sure if they were open yet & I didn't feel like getting out of the car so I just keep driving. phew! well, came home and the need for a cinnamon bun was still forefront in my little brain. so I had an idea! [yeah, once in a while...!] if I walked to cobs, I could justify a cinnamon bun. two birds, one stone...good thinking. it's a really chilly, fall edmonton morning. only 2 degrees and it's all cold and misty and the leaves are just crunchy as you walk...mmmm! k, so back to the story. I walk all the way to cobs and I begin to have some guilt issues. yeah, not about the cinnamon buns but about my bakery of choice. yes, I am purchasing yet again from the competition. THAT was my guilt issue. to make up for this, I've decided that I will take a trip down to bee bell just to make up for all my cobs purchasing. k, so my mind works in strange ways.

I get to cobs, all guilt aside, and I order my cinnamon buns and what do I see??? a scone. not just any scone. it's a still-warm, cheese & chive scone. yeah, I bought one. so, I walked home, crunching the leaves with my feet, letting my warm scone melt in my mouth. and my cinnamon buns are sitting on the counter. untouched. alone. do I want one now? heck no. nothing can trump the scone.

told ya I had bread issues.

the back ally...

now, most back allies here in edmonton are boring, garbage-laden or down right creepy. but ours, well it just lifts my spirits to drive down our back lane, especially when the leaves are so pretty. it's surrounded by old fences, older trees and orange leave galore. absolutly beautiful!

and speaking of backs...mine is not great. in fact, I don't even know what I did - maybe it's sharing the bed with a sick 3 year old. regardless [because irregardless is NOT a word], it HURTS!!!

thankfully though, this weekend has been pretty low-key. and in a bit, we will be heading to John's mom's house for dinner. and to watch the football game!

my nate...

I think I love these pictures!

I am SORE!!

I went to my second class with lesley. and now I hurt...BIG TIME! it's a good hurt tho, so I'm not complaining, but tomorrow should be fun. school exhausted me today & I lost it on the kids today...it was just not a good scene - they just wouldn't settle down enough and a few of them were just off, more so than normal. good thing tomorrow is a new day, fresh with no mistakes in it...for all of us! so, I'll try again tomorrow, and just hope for the best.

also, I took some pics of nate yesterday...I'll go load them up :)

so...

I got some great pics of ty today! none of nate, but there is always tomorrow...

some of the news...

so this week has had it's little events, to say the least! we got word this week that we were approved for financing on a new vehicle. john's car has been in major need of replacement, so we are buying a pontiac wave...little, cute & in blue! we get to pick it up on thursday!

also, I started a new exercise class this week - totally great fun. I think I will endeavor to go on monday & wednesday nights, and cancel my gym membership. I haven't been to the gym in over a month, so why bother paying for it, when I've found something that I really enjoy? not to mention, lesley is a hoot!

and the weather has been SUPER! I am going to take a walk this afternoon...maybe with ty! we'll see [about the ty part!]. I really want to get some pictures of the boys playing outside in the leaves...

a nice fall sunday...

we don't have church this morning [daryl & marge are away], so we are just taking it easy with the kids. nate is being nate & ty has a cold [he was up in the night, so very sad]. this week has been a little nuts for us - in fact, the last few weeks have been crazy, crazy, crazy. admittedly, I have been far too busy for my own good.

this weekend has been nice. nate, my mom & I went to the market yesterday morning. friday night, john & I went to the football game [sad outcome, but nice night!]. last night john, nate, my dad & dan went to the hockey game...nate was HYPER!! his very first hockey game.

and then there is school. there is a fine line, in my mind, between playing the game - balancing all the balls in the air, making everyone happy - and just wanting to scream and tell people that they are acting like they are in junior high. and these are not the kids I am talking about. I feel like I have created a position for myself that I don't really want...the knower of too much. people tell me things. I need to just learn to keep my big mouth shut. [yeah, like that is going to happen.] bottom line, I need to not be afraid to be honest with people, because for the most part, I really like the people I work with and I honestly care about them. I am always afraid. afraid that people won't like me. afraid that they don't think I am good at my job. afraid , afraid, afraid.

here in lies my problem in life. fear.

I just finished reading "the alchemist" by paulo coelho [be warned, everyone is getting this book for christmas!!]. coelho talks a lot about the fulfillment of one's personal legend, or doing what we were created in life to do. there is one quote though that sums up my struggle in life: "there is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure".

it's been a while!

okay, so I've been thinking. crazy, I know. I went for a long walk last week [the start of the week when it was still nice and fall-ish, not rainy & cold & generally miserable] and had a bit of a moment. I was doing the stairs into the ravine when it occurred to me that I am the only one responsible for the changes I want to see in my life. so, I guess it's going back to the baby steps. I am aiming this week to track all my calories, and NOT cheat on that! and wake up 15 minutes earlier than normal so I can eat breakfast at home and not on the run. I still need to cut the calories & add in the exercise, but that will come...I'll focus on the baby steps for now.

oh, and I'm FINALLY reading the alchemist...wowzers!

ARGGGGG!

okay, now, where did I leave off??? I didn't really check the blog before writing more. k, here's the deal: when I don't write, I don't keep myself accountable. I may be busy, but there is nothing more important than...well, this. this is my life line, my accountability. I am an addict. a junkie. I love food, I love eating, I love over doing it, I love not thinking and being numb to everything. so here's the deal. I can admit it and do nothing, or I can admit it, own it, and change the fudge out of it. I really need to go back and re-read all my posts when I was kicking butt.

I am just SO slumped in so many ways. numb is the word. I HATE IT! so this last month has been out of control busy & this last week has topped it off with some other sort of crazy. I need a BIG kick in the butt. no more excuses. and just be exceptional in my own life, for me. and above all, I need to slow down and just enjoy the ride.

so, here's my commitment to you: I promise to blog. to stay connected. and I think to stop my love affair with sugar.

okay, so about this week...

school has started [for teachers] & I am already grinding my teeth. although I am not really comfortable with talking about it in such a public way, I have been making a SERIOUS effort to be truthful and authentic with people. it's hard to speak the truth, but it's the only way I can do my job and feel good about myself. as it stands right now, it's going to be a tough year for that kind of thing. I just really need God's grace in this...and patience.

the family reunion was super fun, relaxing and just a nice time. some of us hiked down to the lake [see the picture I posted a couple days ago!!] and hung out at the super blue lake. we stayed in an rv [so unlike john & I]. we played with the boys. we spent time family. we drank a lot of baileys. it was all good.

marcy & andrew leave on sunday.

it's been a crazy week. and I'll post one more picture!

don't feel like much...

there is way too much going on right now, and I don't really know where to start or how to process, so I will spend some time blogging tomorrow. in the meantime, here are some of my FAVE reunion pictures [which was a really fun time, btw!!]...

and this is how I really feel...

I am just feeling so utterly overwhelmed right now.
tired.
sore.
headachy from all the sugar I've had tonight.
prepped for tomorrow night.
frustrated.
happy.
sad.
are there other emotions?

this summer has gone by way too fast. I went with the boys today to their new dayhome. and of course, nate loves it [she has cool toys]. and ty loves everything. I so wish I only worked a 4-day week. then all in the same breath, I am SO ready to go back to school. I know I should cut myself some slack over my parenting skills. I am not perfect. nor will I ever be. nate has been driving me nuts - I know it is a combination of me being tired, pms-ish, on a mission, and him being 3. I just want to enjoy my last few days home with them, not be annoyed and frustrated and crazed by my wonderful, moody, loving 3 yr old. and then there is ty, whose new thing is giving kisses. I love those boys. and so thankful for them. and I always want my face to light up when they enter a room. enough about that - I am making myself cry.

I am watching the messengers on tlc right now and this quote just caught me...I typed it as I heard it and maybe I am here, down here, watching tv late at night for a reason: "live your life making change, not waiting for it" [cornelious flowers]. so as always, time for a kick in the butt - quit mopping, cor. get a grip. stop waiting for it all to come to you & start making it happen.

we're MOVED!!!

YEEHAW! And here are the pics to prove that I have pictures up on the walls [okay, so none of these pictures prove that, but y'all know that I do!!]...so glad the hard part is OVER :)

they're driving me nuts

the kids, that is. ty has fallen off the couch 3 times this morning. nate pushed him one of the times. every toy in the house seems to be "owned" by nate, therefore anything ty touches...well, you get the idea! I know a huge part of it is being cooped up in an apartment filled with boxes. although I totally understand all of nate's confusion, it still doesn't excuse the behaviour. where is my camera...this is almost photo material! here it is: both boys fighting over toys in the midst of boxes!!

at least I got a ton packed yesterday! now to see how much I can get done today...