no arrows

well, day one wasn't awful.  but it wasn't great either.  there was some ice cream tonight.  and a rum + diet coke just an hour ago.  but other than that, it wasn't awful.  an okay first day.  I am having some emotional eating issues in the last 24 hours.  I am trying not to think too much and therefore distracting myself with food.  there have been some fairly significant kid issues at school this week and some are just hitting a bit too close to home.  I am pms'ing big time and the combination of this type of stress and hormones are creating a bit of a perfect storm.  I mean, I had mcdonalds for the first time in FOREVER on tuesday night.  a two cheeseburger meal.  and I don't even eat beef.  I suspect I will pay the price on the scale on saturday. that said, I am due for a long walk tomorrow.  and a salad.  I am craving these two things.  sigh.

in other news, we have grass!  {yes, this news deserves it's own line!!}

and I get to accompany the grade 9s out to camp for the day tomorrow {we get to go to nakamun!!}.  a day away from "the building" will suit me just fine.  there are just some stressors that are not good for my spirit.  and I feel just very heavy with information I am carrying.  I know I'm being vague.  I have to be.  but if you are the praying sort, pray that I have words to speak and the instinct to know when to speak them.  as hard as today was, I know more than ever, that I am where I am suppose to be for this moment.  but in knowing that, I also feel helpless.  I am not seeing hope right now.  perhaps some sunshine and a day outdoors in a beautiful camp will change some of that.  tonight I ate some ice cream and drank some rum just to distract myself from thinking.  tomorrow I'll get in a canoe and work my body hard.  and perhaps the need for tonights "medicine" will not be needed tomorrow.