it's cold, dude.

okay, so I officially froze my arse off today while sitting outside manning the garage sale. the garage sale that was suppose to get rid of all the stuff and put some coinage in my pockets. yeah. well, it wasn't awful - got to meet some neighbours, hang out with the kids, make enough money to buy booze and read a book [oh, and susan stopped by with kids...and by kids I mean seth and THE CUTEST BABY!! at 4pm I was warm, as the wind died down and the sun shone brightly on me. I actually took my scarf off!

regardless, it was a fun time and hey, I got to read a book. the book. LOL okay, not THE book, but the next book review book!



Take the Risk by Ben Carson, is totally NOT a book I would have bought. would I still buy it? well, I've read it, so I guess I don't have to, but I would lend my mom's copy to my husband and share it with y'all! and before you all panic, I did read a book in between this one and the last one...murder mysteries just don't qualify as books to write reviews about [it was a Lisa Gardner book, if anyone is looking for a creepy psycho-thriller]. and for those of you that know that I generally obsess about africa and the state of the world, humanity and justice, I am also reading "a long way gone: memoirs of a boy soldier" by ishmael beah [that review will come soon!] BUT, back to ben carson, the man is a neurosurgeon. I totally wanted to be a brain surgeon when I was a teenager...just never mastered the whole science thingy. and he's not just any neurosurgeon. he is one of the world's top pediatric brain guys. let's put it this way: he's known for separating conjoined twins...the ones that are joined at the head. so the guy knows risk. well, I sailed through the stories he told about the risks he's encountered and his formula for assessing risk [which is very good & helpful, if you are looking for some decision making guidelines]. then I got to the part about "taking yourself out of the middle" - okay, TOTALLY got my attention. it was more about taking risks and assessing decisions when you take your own emotional energy away from the decision. above all, that is the part I took from the book. is ben carson's story amazing? without a doubt. will his writing style drive you nuts? perhaps. is it a worthwhile read? absolutely. I totally had a perspective change when I read it and there are words now that I have that can describe the decision making process I tend to favour. so, if it gets passed your way, take a read.

a funny ty story

okay, so ty's new favorite book is called "pajama time" and it's this quirky little board book that rhymes. anyways, I go to read it tonight and I was doing the little song-ish part before I started [it goes like: jammy, jammy, jammy, jammy...P! J!] and ty says, "mom, pee is a bathroom word." and I agreed, yes it is. okay, so that is the prelude to the reading of the story when I get to the little song-ish part when I read, ty starts saying it with me: jammy, jammy, jammy, jammy Poo! J! totally made me laugh. try telling a 3 year old that P is a letter AND a word!

we've been running a garage sale this weekend...one more day! it's been great fun meeting all our neighbours and just hanging out outside in this last bit of summer. school started for teachers this past week and although i am feeling pumped for monday, it's just a bit stressful getting all the things organized and ready for the big day. nate's kindergarten teacher called this week and they are staggering the entry, so that nate starts wednesday with a small group and then all the kids go on friday. hopefully all will be well and he'll be okay with it all!

although I feel like I've been really introspective and philosophical as of late, I have NOTHING for you tonight. just know that I am, as always, grateful for your comments and that I am half done a new book that I am LOVING!

sleep tight...
:o)

"those" times

so I've contemplated telling this story, or maybe I've just been distracted and forgot, but I was reminded again today of the impact one person can have in just a moment. this is maybe only the second time in my life this has happened. let me tell you the story of the first [then maybe it will all make sense].

I have no idea how old I was, but I do remember I was working the merch table for a carmen [dude, remember HIM???] concert, so really, I must have been 17 or 18 because I was the BOSS of the merch table -I used to volunteer for a production company EONS ago and I was the go-to girl on concert nights..merch, security, the whole 9 yards. now, doing merch for concerts is a b*tch because the world of the band is one that thinks they can treat people like crap on a stick. no literally. band guys are totally NOT nice to the common folk. the ACTUALLY band guys are usually okay, but the "for-hires" not so nice. as the BOSS of all things merch, you get to see this first hand when you work concerts. needless to say, I remember very vividly a guy named kim [yeah, still remember his name]. he was carman's band guy - the guy who had to coordinate all the merch people from city to city. I had a moment with this guy. not a sexual-ickish-ewww moment, but a connection moment. kim was the kindest, most patient man I ever had the pleasure to work with in a concert environment [and he smelled really great!]. I walked away from the carmen concert with this moment that really, to me, was a moment where I was in contact with a person who was authentic and a true reflection of christ. and, indeed, I remember his name 18 years later.

well, heading home from SLC I had a similar moment. not one that was so impactful, but a moment nonetheless. I was standing in the security line and I started talking the guy behind me in line. he was tall, cute, bald and he was carrying a television camera. I was curious...so, for once, I struck up a conversation. well, we got all the way through security together [like a 15 minute ordeal] and when it was all over, he came and found me and asked me my name and shook my hand. then he was gone. I have no idea what caused me to start talking to this guy [his name is Christian] and maybe that is part of it - I almost NEVER talk to strangers. and I have really no good idea why this even made such an impression on me. he was heading to new orleans to shoot some footage on post-katrina. maybe in this moment it was because I thought for a second that I am not "that" old. that I can still have conversations with cute guys and not be dismissed or whatever. regardless, I have sorta been thinking about this a lot and just praying for him when I think of it.

both of these moment get me thinking about my own life and my interactions. am I "that" moment for someone else? and what am I doing in that moment? am I being the complainer? the b*tch? the one no one wants to really be with? or am I being a true representative of what I believe? kind. compassionate. gracious. grateful. content.

and what about those times that are not moments, but relationships. how much more important to be authentic.

patience

patience and I have issues. I wish I could be the person who could tell a good "patience" story and be the hero at the end of it. I wish I could tell you that I sing the little "music machine" song and I no longer lose my patience with poor customer service people and phone solicitors. I am not that person. however, I believe that being a patient person is a good thing, a virtuous thing. but contrary to popular belief, I am not really a patient person. at least in my head I'm not. but what does it mean to be patient? well, I looked up the word "patience" in the dictionary and this is what I found: 1. the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like; 2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay; 3. quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence

in looking at the definition, I think even further of my inadequacies. I read it and just think of driving on the yellowhead at 8 am on a friday morning and I am the antithesis of all things patient. in that moment, stuck behind a dump truck and blocked in by idiots, I am provoked, annoyed, pained, complaining and generally I lose my temper. or, I think about trying to get out of the house with 2 kids who are pretending to zap me because they are batman and spiderman and in that moment I am not able to suppress my restlessness and annoyance when confronted with that delay. or I think about trying to potty train a little boy named ty and I know that I am not the picture of a quiet, steady perseverance, let alone even-tempered. then I threw the word into the on-line thesaurus and synonyms of the word "patience" are words like "fortitude", "perseverance", "composure". these are words/concepts that are strong character traits. these words describe who I would like to be.

I remember some time ago - like seriously before I was married, maybe even before John & I were dating, I prayed that God would give me patience [maybe it was because I had met John, liked him and totally wanted to date him!]. yeah. bad thing to ask for. in asking for patience, turns out I was asking for opportunity to practice patience! turns out though, that the more you practice, the better you get at it. okay, so in my head I feel impatient and restless all the time, but funny enough, although I feel rather inadequate in the patience department, I know that I am practicing it daily and in that practicing, some of the character of God is perhaps becoming something I reflect better than I realize.

most of the comments i get about patience from people is in the reaction I get when I tell people what I do for a living. the conversation is usually like this:
them: "a teacher. what do you teach?"
me: "yeah, I teach jr high special needs"
them: "wow, tough job. you must have a lot of patience"
and at this point I cringe. and then I think about my prayer and I think about the job I do with kids. maybe they are connected. maybe in that moment that I choose to persevere, when I choose to be even-tempered, when I choose to suppress my annoyance at their lack of ability, when I demonstrate fortitude and composure when I am screaming in my head - I am choosing to practice patience. when I choose to read with a grade 9 boy who still doesn't know that t-h-e is always the word "the" - I am choosing to practice patience. and when I walk into my classroom and create a safe and caring learning environment with my example, I get to practice patience and fortitude and hope and perseverance. and in this, I am so fortunate that I have these opportunities.

just in reflection of this, I am almost tempted to pray this prayer again. maybe instead I will pray not for more opportunity to practice patience but to demonstrate it on a more regular, consistent, daily basis. maybe I will pray that I can wait in silence when I am restless and annoyed with colleagues or family members. maybe I will pray that I will not be provoked or irritated with little things like traffic and toys on the floor or dishes that don't seem to know when to leave the dishwasher. I know, however, that with any of these prayers that God will give me opportunity to hone this skill. mmmm. so maybe it's a no-win situation. or perhaps for those of you that interact with me a win-win situation.

so I had an idea

LOL yeah, always the ideas, rarely the follow through! but susan got me thinking with her friday fun day [what do you call it again???] I love books, I love reading so maybe I should do a biweekly, unscheduled book review. although i have a HUGE stack of books by my bed that I was suppose to read this summer, there are a few that I have, and that I'd love to share. SOOOOOO, here we go. the first review!

The Shack, by William P Young



[we'll see if the graphic worked or if I'll be cursing this grand idea!]
well, this book was recommended to my by my friend erika. we were killing some time at the mall in SLC and we decided that the book store was a safe place to cool off and hang out. she saw this book on the front display and told me it was a good one and that I should read it. to be honest, personal recommendations can go either way...what I love may not be what you love and vice versa. and being an ex-employee of a well-known christian bookstore here in town, I am very skeptical of most all christian literature. however, I have a few exceptions and so since not all is bad, I bought the book. erika was telling me how many people who have read it have claimed that it was life-altering [totally didn't help the cynic in me!] so as I began to read, the skeptic/cynic needed a boff in the head for her bad attitude!

so, I read it twice. not the whole thing, but parts. let me explain.

this book is totally cool. really. it's fiction/theology/realism all rolled up into one. it is the story of mac, a man who has lost his youngest daughter in an act of extreme violence. then one day, he gets an invitation to go back to the place where his daughter was murdered - and the invitation is signed "papa", the name his wife uses to address God. I don't really want to give too much away, just in case you decide to track down a copy and read it, but mac has an encounter with God, in the shack, that changes his life. I couldn't put the book down when I first read it, mainly because whenever I read a book for the first time through, I just want to know how it ends. I had to go back and re-read just because there were theological parts that hit me deeper than I had imagined. there is a section in the middle where mac is having a conversation with someone [can't remember if it was papa, jesus or sarayu] about the human need for hierarchy. in return, the term "circle of relationship" is used - a concept that I am wanting to explore further [when I read it again after I get it back from my dad!]. it also talks a lot about trust [something I have big issues with]. anyways, it got me thinking about things that I rather not think about.

but, I digress. I thought this book was exceptionally written. it is thought provoking and interesting. it may just sit in my top 5.

grrr

okay, so I can't figure out how to make pictures smaller on my new computer. I am very frustrated. grrr. so, if there are any mac users out there, email me and tell me what I'm doing wrong!

on another note, the boys and I went up to st paul this week [2 nights in a camper was a good time!!]. we had such a great time with coralee & lance. nate "drove" the tractor with lance and LOVED it!! ty was totally out of sorts and didn't want anything to do with tractors, but hey, nate was the same way 2 years ago.




went for a walk this evening. felt good to get back into the groove. I am going to walk the st albert half marathon in september, so the training has begun. realistically, I need to be 10lbs lighter before then, so whether I feel like it or not, crunch time is now. all my goal setting seems to go by the wayside when I feel like crap, so I don't know if it's even worth my time...[totally pms'ing today], but here are the goals: 5 weeks until marathon day. I need to walk AT LEAST 5k every second day until then [just to bank kilometers on my shoes] and then 10+ km every other day. in addition, I need to support my training with a shmuck-load of water. and then there is my nemesis. food. I like to eat. I like to eat sweet, sugary things. maybe the whole no-plan is the way to go. maybe I need to get back on weight watchers. maybe I need to just track my calories. maybe. all I know is that i am rather disgusted with myself right now and above all, my bad attitude needs to change. I am discouraged. disappointed. disgusted. irritated. and THAT is what needs to change. so, really, it's all up to me. love that. [not!]

the bad mom club

okay, let's have an honesty chat. no seriously. today goes down as one of the bad ones. now, I love my kids, I really do and so much of today was based on just sheer exhaustion - me & the kids. I am not too sure where it went south, because we were having a pretty decent afternoon. we'd gone to the collingwood market after church, then to DQ for a treat lunch. then, we came home and they boys went on the slip-n-slide. really, a good afternoon. then they came in and were playing and there were toys flipping everywhere. all I asked was that they cleaned up. really, a reasonable request, I would think. yeah, not for nate and ty. oh no, I ask WAY too much! yeah, they laughed at me. so the bad mom yelled [nate yelled back...boy that kid has some lungs on him!]. the good mom started putting toys in a recycle bag because obviously they don't really want them. then nate really screamed. ty got the message and started cleaning up. nate started hitting me, so good mom was steady freddy and walked him to his room for a time out. ty & I finished the clean up [in hind site, nate totally got off the hook]. then they went back outside and played. then came in and I dried them off. I told them to get dressed for bed [it was 630 by this time]. yeah, well obviously that was unreasonable as well because they proceeded to yell and holler and bad mom yelled back and sat on the floor and cried as the boys laughed. yeah. they laughed. somehow I got them dressed and put them in their room for a mom-time-out. I cried some more, then went and tucked them into bed. ty said "sorry mom for being sassy" and kissed me. nate, just asked for a tuck in. at that point, I was just happy that they were going to bed.

now, I know we all have bad days with our kids, but this one wasn't pretty. I need more sleep. so do they.

I am off to bed, I work for a few more days at the bakery...and tomorrow I am so excited to be having lunch with suz & kath. and it's my open house/catty party/garage sale gig tomorrow. I need a project!!!

the backtrack, the bet, and other misc. things

okay, so I was looking for a quote for John back in my January posts, and got thinking about January. I was following weight watchers on-line and actually had lost 4lbs. I keep wondering why this time it's so tough. turns out I've been eating almost the same [okay, so this weeks eating has been the pits, but overall I haven't been over my calorie limit], but I haven't really been walking or doing anything active. now, I do have some good excuses [tired from salt lake, sick, working at the bakery] but really, they are all excuses. I have 3 weeks until school starts and I want to be 6lbs lighter. so we are on the +/-6 plan as of right now. I do have boot camp again on tuesday night and I want to do at least a 30 minute walk everyday for the next 3 weeks. do-able goals? I think so.

one of my motivators is that I made a bet with my friend Chris. whoever loses the most weight by christmas day wins the bet - $200. plus, if we both win/tie, then we are just going to go on a shopping spree together. let's be serious. I want to buy a size 10 pair of jeans. and I want to "OWN" those jeans.

okay, so the kids are downstairs...wearing their halloween costumes from last year - playing dress up. I need to prep for my open house tomorrow. so I am going to shut this one down.

oh, and the quote was: do not "try" or "hope" for results. either do it or don't.

sleepy little bunnies

we've had some late nights at our house. this is what my sweet bunnies are doing at this very moment:

sneak peeks

so, my camera on my computer takes reverse images, so all of these convention samples/peeks are reverse! the little set with the square scalloped images are the new Ronald McDonald house stamps - they match with the new square scallop punch!!

it's good to be home. and although the boys didn't come to the airport as planned [nate got sick and with my delayed flight, we thought it wouldn't be good to have the kids make the trip], they both ended up in bed with us. I had such a good time in slc with e - seriously a great time, and although sad to leave her again, it really is good to be home. I will try to post more stuff/pics/sneak peeks this week!

in denver

okay, I will blog "for real" tonight when I get home. but, I am in denver with George, my new soft-faux-boyfriend. a little "colorado" starbucks bear. uber cool. also here with susan, aaron & crowd...good times. our flight is delayed...but of course. delayed flights seem to be the flying experience of choice today. alas, mere hours until I am home again, able to sleep in my own bed. okay, so my brain is fried out on coffee..so here are my airport pictures for today:

bad convention goer

yeah, so we went out last night: had EXCEPTIONAL sushi + more than 1 [like 3!] EXCEPTIONAL martinis + a 630 am wake up time = one VERY TREMENDOUS headache/hangover. yeah. today has not been a happy-happy-feeling day. as a result, I don't remember morning session and this afternoon is a bit less hazy - am going to try a great new card idea when I get home!!

the bag, baby...THE BAG!!!

okay, we checked in at convention today and got to see the new catty...and got the bag - THE BAG!!!! the bag ROCKS! anyhoo, a few pics from day 1! [front cover of the new catty, new ribbon & see - tart & tangy DID make it!!!]

slc - the first few days!

okay. it is bloody HOT here. yeah, not totally loving that. however, once it hits about 6pm it is totally pleasant and happy and generally comfortable. this is a good thing! the actual stampin' up! convention starts tomorrow, so that will be reason to post...new catty, baby!! yesterday erika and I did a city tour and it was super fun and super tiring. we saw tons of the city and some great sites. ALL GOOD! today we are going to do some shopping and see a movie...more of a low-key day.

me. in denver.

I look exhausted. I am. up at 3am will do that. good thing there is coffee. hehehe!!

woohoo!

okay, so I grew something [not too sure where the pics will appear, but you will know them!]. AND, I leave for SLC tomorrow morning. I don't think I told the delay in denver story [stop reading if I did!]: I was suppose to have a wee delay in denver on my way to slc, as in a couple of hours. nothing super major. I got a call from the areopoints people a while ago informing me of my flight change. instead of leaving edmonton at 915 am, I was now leaving at 645 am. needless to say my wee layover was now a 6 hour layover [my denver to slc flight got changed to a later time as well]. so it occurred to me that maybe I could find someone in denver to see...MY FRIEND JOANNE!! yeah, she doesn't live so far away. in the denver vicinity. so she is going to meet me at the airport and we are going to find some food. YAHOO! so I went to kindergarten with joanne and we went to school together until grade 7, I think. then her family moved stateside and we've kept in contact ever since. last time I saw her was when she lived in tucson...and I totally can't remember how many years ago that was! regardless, I am THRILLED about this and am so glad that my flights got changed.

AND, by this time tomorrow, I'll be hanging out with erika. life is good.

good golly miss molly

writing this on the new computer...!

three more sleeps until SLC

a ton more work to do before I go

a kazillion things to figure out & put on a list

lets see if I can add a picture! [okay, so the picture went into a strange place....can't seem to move the html!]

5 years ago

5 years ago I met a wee baby - okay, so met him IRL, not just as a womb buddy! my nate had his 5th birthday today and I am so thankful and glad to have such a great kid. although he drives me NUTS many days, I love him so fully and amazingly and he makes me want to be a better person. he is a smart, funny kid that makes me laugh so hard and amazes me with his insight into his world. I can't wait to see what kind of kid he'll be in another 5 years...

on another note, had a chat with my brother this week, as he was standing in the apple store. he wanted to know if john & I wanted to purchase his old computer - a total answer to prayer. on a lot of levels.

AND...I've been working at the bakery in the mornings - needed the cash and they needed someone to answer the phones. all good.

off to bed :o)

colour challenge #16

okay, so I'm playing this week - 'cause I LOVE these colours together. at the beginning of this SU! year [last july] I was very unsure of sky blue. now I am going to be sad when it's gone! [click on the above picture to take you to kristina's blog...the blog of all good things!

and here is my card [now keep in mind that my camera is being odd - as in not transfering pictures! and I used the ol' scanner!]:

conversations with almost-five-year-olds

"mommy, I wish we had a well"
"a well? is that what you said?"
"yeah, a well"
"why?"
"so I could wish for a skateboard"

that really was the conversation. and this whole honey-bear-feather challenge on big brother SUCKS [or at least it would if it was me doing it!]

AND, I survived bootcamp tonight. BRUTAL! I am going to be sore tomorrow...least I know I worked hard!

new, new, new!

was out & about today...picked up a few things:

1. new glasses [and another year's supply on my contacts...thank God for good vision benefits]. my old glasses had the wrong prescription in them [they were 2 years old] and I was wearing my contacts a bit too much. I'll see if I can manage a picture of me with them on [it's been a rough hair day, so the picture may have to wait until tomorrow].

2. a new filter & bag for the shop-vac. yeah, it just wasn't sucking like it should. now it sucks big time and john is vacuuming the basement as I type! oh, and I paid for a third of the $30 cost with canadian tire money. it's all good!

3. a new blank notebook/journal/sketch book. it didn't cost much, but I thought I needed a book for SLC - when I travel, I like to have a place for all my information and maps [since customs always asks for detailed info!!]. this should do the trick!

4. a grande light caramel frappichino. at a mere 160 calories, a nice summer treat!

5. pizza sauce. I had purchased a frozen homemade pizza crust at the market this weekend [yeah, I know, I could have made it myself...but I'm just plain lazy!] and decided to make it tonight. I piled it on with all sorts of veggies, topped it with skim-milk mozza and YUMM-O! a healthy-ish version of one of my favorite meals!

6. a-not-so-new-but-now-looked-at-closely garden distaster. seriously, what was I thinking???? I will add these pics, mainly because I don't even know what is wrong, let alone how to fix it! this first pic would be the snow peas...they lean to the left for some strange reason. the second is of my pumpkin plants - something/someone is eating them, or infecting them...I WISH I KNEW HOW TO HELP THEM!!! I am very tempted to call stan thompson's radio show on sunday morning to figure it all out!

bloom

the boys slept in this morning. I actually had opportunity to run to second cup & cobs to pick up coffee and cinnamon buns with the boys not even realizing that I was gone!

this morning I am going to take them to the market [after I dye my hair...'cause I am feeling old!], as is our usual saturday morning routine. it is suppose to be a beautiful day and I would love to be outdoors, since yesterday I hunkered down and cleaned up my stamp room. after my lovely conversation with the ups guy ["oh, mrs. fraser, nice to see you again" - he only sees me in the summer...the rest of the year he leaves boxes on my step!], I opened my pre-order of new SU! stuff and promised myself that if I cleaned my whole stamp room, I would play. alas, it worked! I cleaned. I played. I am slowly making my way through the house!

I actually wanted to pop on here becuase through some blog-surfing, I found this site and it is now bookmarked: lisa I originally went to it because of the BEAUTIFUL jewlery, but then I was captured by her story. in combination with other things I have been thinking about, I am formulating a plan for next school year. I am very scattered about it right now, and when I can really get my act together, I will share. but it has to do with hope, perserverence and resiliancy. anyways, enjoy her blog if you make it over there!

pages & challenges

okay, so I've done a bit of scrapping lately...one for my calendar & one for this challenge:



let's NOT talk about how this challenge is over a week old and it's taking me until NOW to get things posted! [click on the pic to take you to kristina's blog for THIS week's challenge!]...I love the american crafts "thickers"...that's what I used to do nate's name. the rest of the page is SU! [do I dare hope that SU! puts thickers or the like in the new catty??? mmmmm!]



and then this other, random-ish/non-stampin' up one! I've had the paper forever, and the glittery letters are from michaels. the tag is mainly SU! [hodgepodge, arrow punch, brad]. I am liking how the new camera took these pictures - they are mainly the same colour as the picture shows!!

things I like, things I don't like

okay, so my computer decided to be stupid this morning...or maybe it's just blogger, either way, I'm re-typing!

okay, so on the morning of the boys party, some coffee mysteriously spilled on my camera. as a result, it would take pictures [still does!] but the pictures won't transfer off the memory card onto the computer because the "ok" button is crusted with dry coffee. so I decided to get a new camera...a cheap-o olympus thing. not too sure if I am loving yet [because nothing will ever be as good as the old one!] and there are a bunch of settings that really seem to make a difference in the quality of picture. regardless...I have 14 days to try it out and if I really don't like it, I can return it.

I had a pretty good birthday on wednesday. I'm not really liking the fact that I am 36, but I am liking the gift john & the boys gave me [I just need to put some pictures in it!]. I also got some earrings and another charm/thingy for my necklace! john also picked up a cake for me...turtle cheesecake...mmmmm!


I also got to spend the day with my mom. we went to ikea, then for lunch, then some other shoppping. a really nice day...until I got home. and decided to build the bunkbed I had bought for the boys. yeah. good idea, cor. LOL oh well, it's built. the kids love it. after all that was done, sarah watched the boys and john & I went and grabbed some sandwiches from jeffery's. a good day.

okay, blogger/mozilla/my computer - DRIVING ME NUTS!!!!

on another note, I've been cleaning! now, really, I don't like cleaning. yeah, not my favorite activity at all. however, I do love to purge. hehehe! my clothes got the brunt of that last night. I now have a nicely colour-coded closet, once again! part of this is because I've been setting up a bit of a guest room downstairs, now that steph has moved out. regardless, lots of up and down the stairs, lovely considering the state of my quads [have I mentioned boot camp from tuesday night? lovely!].

okay, I'm quitting. new post to try again with...other [stamping] things!

it's the big night

yes. tonight I begin the dreaded boot camp. I am a tad bit nervous - new people, new experience. but yes. if I can walk a half marathon, I can get through one hour of brutal physical craziness. I will do a weigh/measure thingy tomorrow am and then we'll see what happens in 8 weeks. I've had a great eating week [so far!] - lots of healthy, lots of portion control, treats when I can afford the calories. well, we'll see what tomorrow holds...and if I am even able to get my sorry buttola out of bed!!

life on hold

I hate calling my dr's office. on hold forever, then I got hung up on. grrr. I should be cleaning my house, but I have no motivation in that department, so here I sit on my computer fluffing my time away. good job doing nothing, cor. you rock!

a few pics to tell the stories!

holy crazy week, batman!

okay, why does time fly when your having fun? no kidding, eh?!

this first week off has been crazy [and uber hot, so keep that in mind...all of this is in 30+ degree heat!]...I'll give you the play-by-play! [I like lists, this works for me!]

monday - home with the boys...we go and pick up all the party supplies: costco, save-on, michaels. make party favours, decorate, bake a cake, watch friday night lights with john.

tuesday [aka party day] - nate wakes up at 730 or so and wants to decorate the cake...it came out pretty well, overall! the boys and I finish setting up for the party. 17 or 18 small children invade our house between the hours of 1130 and 130. hotdogs, cake, ice cream, water [as per the prior posts!]. there are also, at any given time, 10-15 adults [because my family comes to everything...and hey, if I can only have a crazy-busy house for one day, it's all good]. by 300, everyone was gone. clean up & unpackage all gifts ['cause I tell ya - if we want to save the earth, we should start by reducing the amount of stupid packaging on kids toys. STUPID!]. make dinner. do laundry. pack for the lake.

wednesday - pack up everything else for the lake. go to start the car...yeah, it's dead. grrr. THANK GOD that steph was home and able to boost me! some stops on the way [not enough stops though, since I forgot hamburger buns and wine!]. and then we're off! okay - our time at the lake was SO MUCH FUN! the boys loved being out there - swimming, tubing, jumping on the trampoline, and just getting all that fresh air!

thursday - hang out at the lake until about noon, then head back into town with the boys. okay, so at this point I needed to go to southgate to meet jenn to pick up football tickets. in my lovely little mind, I thought that taking yellowhead to the henday to 111th street would be the best. yeah. didn't realize the magnitude of the construction. holy moly. a 10 minute trip took me 30+ minutes. regardless, got the tickets and made it home. did some laundry then packed the kids back up and we took them to john's mom's house. [okay, I'm tired just thinking about thursday.] we dropped them off their for the night and met friends at the lrt station to go to the football game...GO ESKS!! we won, but we didn't get home from the game until after midnight. I am not loving the whole thursday-8 o'clock-start-schedule thingy that the esks are doing this year.

friday - head to the hospital to meet susan's wee baby [isabelle grace...a beautiful name for a very beautiful baby!!] and to have a visit with suz. then to the mall for some breakfast and to make sure that aud doesn't buy more than one bag at the coach store!! from the mall to john's mom's house to pick up the boys [they had a great night at grandma's house!!] then to my mom's to eat lunch [courtusy of BK]...AND THEN to the st albert splash park to meet up with coralee & pauline. then home, then dinner, then more fnl!!

saturday - move day for steph. the boys and I went to the city market this morning, just to get out of dodge. then for a coffee @ starbucks.

no wonder I am so sunburned and so tired. I will post pictures soon [there are a bunch on my facebook, but I'll throw some on here too! a good week, for my first week off...

and I'm thinking about signing up for a boot-camp on tuesday nights this summer...mmmmm.

happy canada day!

well, we did okay with the party! better than okay - the weather was WONDERFUL, the kids well behaved, the hot dogs were well cooked...all good. although I didn't really get to do the "hang out" thing with my friends, it really was a good, good day.

so, at 9pm on a tuesday night, I am exhausted. and thankful. and instead of sitting here whining about what I don't have, I am just going to go have a moment of thankfulness. good friends, family, food to share, water to play in. for these things I am so grateful. and on that note, I am also very thankful that susan gets to birth a baby tomorrow...[and no, not just thankful that it's her and not me!], but just glad that a new wee baby gets to make an entrance...it's always a miracle.

now, I am going to see if my husband will come and sit outside with me...

and one more thing...

to see some recent pics click HERE!

monday

yes. the first monday of summer vacation. hehehe!!
although I haven't touched the house [and BOY, does it need a good scrub down!!], the boys and I did make it to starbucks, save-on AND costco...and home in time for lunch and a wee nap for my lovely ty [who was still awake at 2am...grrr]. we got all the things we need for the party, but now I am in worry mode - which I really shouldn't be, but I kinda am. I will explain.

I feel a bit of peer pressure about the whole birthday party thing. like there is a rule book on how a kids party should go, only I didn't get a copy of the book. I have VERY limited experience with the kid/birthday thing, and this makes me a bit nervous. I think the nervousness comes from the fact that this year, we've invited strangers...their kids are not strangers to my kids [they play together 4 days a week, and some of them will be in nate's kindergarten class this year] but, some of the parents are strangers to me! EEEKKKKKKK! slight exaggeration as I think about it, I have met all invited people, they just aren't all my close friends [some are becoming good friends...HENCE the pressure!]. AND on that note, I am VERY grateful that my close friends are coming, even though "they" are birthing a baby the very next day! [you ROCK, suz!] okay, so I really have no reason to panic. no reason to worry. no reason to fret. I can throw a decent party...it doesn't need to be fancy. hotdogs, ice cream, cake, water and canada flags. it's all good. breath deep, cor. the only thing that needs to be perfect is the maple leaf on the cake...LOL

reflections

well, another school year is done. finished. wrapped up. complete. it was a very good year. and this is why I love my job - although there are insanely crazy parts, tear your hair out parts, kill a kid parts and never see my family or friends parts, I really do love my job. I love that at the end of a school year I can look back and reflect...think of areas that ROCKED and areas that I would totally change. I can think of kids that made an impact on me and kids that I know I hit home with. I can think of kids that have soared with their learning and those that made just baby steps. and how all of those things are really good things. I am so excited about next year, and that I get to do it all over again with many of the same great kids. but on the other hand, I am so glad that I get to spend my summer doing things for me: hanging out with the boys, meet new babies, travel with my friend, stamp, scrap, blog, WALK, lose 20 lbs. it's all good.

last summer, it took me until august to feel better/rested from my "maybe I need a new career" teaching year. this year, well, I got drunk with my friends last night and I have a glass of wine in my hand right now...and I think that will do the trick. this is the way it should be.

so, in honour of my feel-good-happy-school-ending, I am going to set 2 goals for this next week: drink a crap load of water [10 glasses a day] and walk every day next week. I have started tracking my eating again on sparkpeople and it felt good today. I am very disappointed with myself for letting myself gain 15lbs this past year - yeah, it's really been that much. and I know that it is only hard work that will fix this. so, I am back on the wagon and I am going to aim for 2 lbs a week...I can do this. no more excuses.

eeek!

WHAT A CRAZY MONTH!!!
where exactly did may disappear to? huh? yeah. I am a bad, bad blogger. susan, on the other hand has been a good blogger as of late! not me. alas, I have wandered back to offer some updates and show off some pictures...

really, other than work and soccer and trips to vancouver and just life in general, nothing really new has been happening. I am heading into one of the more busy months of my school year - it rates up there with september, but not quite as high as late october-early november! although I tend to put everything under the bracket of stress, really I am not feeling stressed - just really busy. the time that I do have to sit down, I am thinking about the foot of marking that has been sitting in my pretty red bag FOR TWO WEEKS! [no, really!] I also know that next three weeks are going to be nuts and I need to get my game face on...just gear up and face it head on. because once it's done, I get to breathe and do all those things around the house that are stockpiling. anyhow...some soccer pics of the boys!

happy sunday, friends and I will try to be a better blogger...soon!!!

official results!

5524 3523/3583 569/570 Female 5814 3:56:59 3:55:02 11:09 Cori Fraser
5525 3524/3583 162/168 Female 6181 3:56:58 3:55:02 11:09 Jetske Huising
5526 3525/3583 163/168 Female 5943 3:56:59 3:55:03 11:09 Joy Boldt  

don't think I want to point out that I was the second last person in my age group to finish...OR that we couldn't figure out where the finish line was [it took us 2 minutes to get there]. BUT there were 60 people who finished behind me [and 3500 who finished before me...but we won't talk about THAT either!]. and most importantly, we finished! and I am walking today. yeah me!!

under 4

well, the vancouver marathon is over, and I am back home. we walked the half in under 4 hours - longer than it took to do it the last time, but considerably better than I had suspected! considering the lack of training, I have no complaints. my legs are KILLING me [especially the calves!], but really a great weekend! there is talk of us doing the portland marathon in october - e, you up for that???? LOL

I have been delinquent on many fronts these last 2 weeks or so, now I can get back to things - like sending a certain someone a wee birthday package! off to hobble over to find a box. and head to bed, because I've been up since 5am, walked 21k & flew home. YEEHAW!!

and another version

something newish!

clarity

sometimes things happen and clarity occurs. this week has been one of those time. although the 10 metres of snow has mucked me up BIG TIME [flat tire, stuck in a snow drift], I have had a revealing week. and some decisions have been made: I am going to apply for the epsb leadership course again. I didn't get in last year, which turned out to be a very good thing, but I would like to give it another go; I really think this is something I could be good at. and john is going for a job interview tomorrow. and bottom line, it's freeing to know that really it's about taking care of those who are in the airplane not about how high I can fly.

The Way I See IT #290

"on the battlefield of ideas, winning requires moving towards the sound of the guns" this quote struck a chord with me as I was sitting in church, drinking my coffee [that's what happens when church is pretty much sponsored by starbucks]. I am in a bit of a funk - thought I was getting over the effects of the "winter funk", considerably worse this winter, for some reason - and the weather has me going stir crazy.

back to the quote - I generally hate conflict. I try not to cause it, I try to solve it, I talk myself down from it...all of those great things. not too sure if I ever want to be a winner, if I have to find the guns. it does get me thinking in a more philosophical train of thought though. good things take hard work. nothing comes easy. ever. how do we ever know peace, if we've never stepped into the fire? how do we ever recognize goodness, if all we have ever known is evil? and then what? how do you change the survival mode from "I'm just holding on for dear life" to "I am okay"? the shift in mentality is a tough one. for me, for the last 5 years, I have lived a life that puts my kids/family/career in full dependency mode. small kids need their mother. a new marriage needs a wife present [and not just to do the laundry!!]. a new teacher needs to figure it all out on a lot of levels! now that as a family we are not so new, more familiar, more grown up, perhaps I am not feeling so overwhelmed by it all. and now that I am not feeling so overwhelmed by my life, I don't know what to do with myself. I feel restless. the mentality shift hasn't keep up to my ever-changing life. this is a time where my kids need me more than ever. what a mondo-huge job. a hard job. but the job I am, above all else, called to do.

I feel like this winter, I've been a coward. a person who has just shut themselves away from life and just maintained. and in some cases, not maintained at all. and perhaps this is why the snow today has me in a tizzy. I have not been really great at anything lately. not a great friend. not a great mom. not a great wife. not a great sister. I have been terribly self-absorbed.

so, as all things are, this is going to take some hard work on my part. and it's going to start by making some things right, and making some apologies. and I am going to beat this thing that is on me and start by looking for where I need to be in battle right now. and as a friend told me this weekend - it's not how high the airplane flies, or how fast it gets there, but that it just keeps going towards it's destination [totally paraphrased from a very drunk conversation!].

the realist in me needs a plan, but I think that I need to sleep on all these thoughts and the conversations I've had this weekend. the right choices are never the easy ones. and for once, I think I may be okay with that.

[and this is what happens when you help someone drink 2 bottles of wine on a friday night, watch "the assassination of jesse james" on a saturday night and drink starbucks coffee on a sunday morning in church...God works in some pretty cool ways.]

I am such a delinquent blogger

seriously. I am in a bit of a post-spring break funk. creatively stunted. tired 24-7. eating every oreo in sight so I don't really have to deal with my lack of a life. spring break was really great - I got some stamping in there, some walking done, some cleaning finished. this past week has zapped me though. gotta love deadlines at work.

regardless, I have made a few things and taken some pics of the kids...so in lieu of the chit chat I would normally have at this point, here are the pics!!