Tuesday, January 30, 2007

is it possible?

is it possible that maybe I am on the road to recovery? recovery from eating CRAP, that is! today is the first day in a really long time, where I feel like I've successfully conquered the crap [picture wonder woman deflector arm bands flashing through the air!]. it's 9:00 and I have eaten less than my allotted 1500 calories...and more importantly, I am not hungry. also, last night, 10 push-up...IN A ROW! yippie! another big success, we finally dealt with nate's pre/post supper tantrum. head on, no holds barred. to be honest, most days, I am too exhausted to really deal with his attitude. no good excuses, but it definitely is easier in the moment to let things slide...then it turns into a water slide of rushing nastiness! well, tonight, I had enough...and decided that if I can deal with paper-eating-big-kids-in-three-year-old-bodies, then I can deal with my for-real three year old. I think it's the low voice, "I'm not going anywhere" thing that I have mastered over the last while.

AND, I stamped tonight. we are putting a basket together for "bids for kids" - the theme is "red", hence the red cards!

Day 29:
"Get back on track. Slip ups are normal and they don't mean failure. Instead of beating yourself up for your mistakes, tell yourself that one error doesn't mean much. Don't wait until tomorrow, next week, or next month to get back on track start right away. Put your mistake into the past and move forward. Even the most successful people in the world make mistakes!"

yeah, but they learn from their mistakes. I, have been using this whole "mistake" notion as an excuse. yup. done with this one.

Day 30:
"Everything is a choice. You choose to watch TV instead of walking, or to de-stress by eating instead of talking to someone. Before you act, stop and ask yourself if this "solution" will really help you in the long run."

hence my motto. I cannot blame anyone for the choices I make because everything is a choice. and today, I am choosing a life free of addiction. a life free of guilt and shame. a life that is God based, not me based. today, I chose to live, not die.

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