a few pics!

so, I've been fairly stampy lately :) I thought I'd share a few of my newest creations!
the first two cards are the same design, just different colours [I ran out of bashful blue...grrrr], but I kinda like the cool carribean one better. who knew!

the day of the eve of the last day of the...

okay, well you get the idea! I love new years eve day. almost as much as christmas eve day. people are friendly out and about. there is an air of anticipation, hope and promise wherever you go today. people are excited and happy. I like that. okay, well I guess it's easy for me to comment before I even head out the door. I will report back...when I get back!

eta: okay, I lied. people are miserable. grrr. doesn't mean I can't be happy, right?? SWEET!

I was doing okay until

I went to someone else's house and ate their crap. no seriously. yesterday was like my all-time best eating day in like 3 months. then I left my house. then all the resolve and strength and everything I had just turned to dust in my hands. wrong. just wrong, I say. k, so going cold turkey on the no sugar thing doesn't work for my psyche. but do I have to go overboard? every time? like all the treats in the world are going to be gone forever? yeah, no. one treat. one delectable little treat. one that is savoured and enjoyed and loved in the moment. it's always going to be there, wherever I go. like an alcoholic or a coke addict, the craving will always be there in some form. it's what I do with it that matters. I just don't need to eat like I will never have again.

not too sure what I should title this one!

k, so I've spent the day doing nothing. not quite nothing, I have tided the kitchen - sorta, surfed the web for all things entertainment-ish/gossipy, played on scs, surfed everyone else's blogs, drank a shmuck load of coffee, watched the boys play, missed the sunrise [we were all still in bed at 10:30 this morning!], but watching the sunset [yeah, at 3:40...gotta LOVE edmonton!]. okay, so it's not like it's nothing, but nothing really productive. it's okay to have days like this, right? I did make a few phone calls today too...even better! have I thought about dinner??? yeah, nope. I am thinking about running the dishwasher...that would be productive. I am going out tonight...stamping at katherine's house. what can I say - boring life! and I LOVE it!!

today I have been working hard at drinking all of my water. I have had 4 glasses already, and a bottle sitting in front of me. mmmm. not feeling too motivated!

I've been thinking of listing in my blog the other blogs that I visit daily - would that be cheesy? maybe I should host a blogger-licious contest with prizes...would that be fun? mmmm. all the things a person can do!

nate is playing "going to connie's" and ty is throwing bottle lids around the living room. that means he got in the drawer...gotta go!

some thoughts

so, my christmas cards will officially go into the mail tomorrow. I have to be honest, I have christmas card issues. who to send to...just out of town folks or friends and family. so, I am sending out a general apology to all of you who do not get a christmas card from the fraser family this year. a couple of things may have happened: a) I ran out of cards; b) I ran out of stamps; c) I just saw you in person; d) all of the above; e) what the heck am I doing worrying about christmas cards on boxing day for???

on another note, I am now back to speaking "ctu": "the only reason you're not dead is because I don't want to carry you", "is that an active protocol?", "chloe, can you run an interface on that?"...yeah, it's awful around here [hehehe!!]. we are re-watching season 5 in anticipation for season 6 in...18 days!

and have I told you how much I LOVE the new iPod that has become a member of our family. little nano is making all of us happy!

I finally feel like I am back to normal...4 days after school was out - that's how long it takes me to decompress [another "bauer-ism"]. I've had some good sleep and some time with a decent book and a ton of coffee...all that with the boys screaming around me. I am so glad that life can get back to normal so quickly! SO, if you are dying to do coffee, give me a hollar...I am around all week. alone. with kids.

some more pics!

thanks mom, these rock!

pics from the last few days!

above all other days...

I love christmas eve. and I miss some of the traditions we had when we were kids. it used to be that we'd all pile into the van and go to my oma & opa's church on christmas eve, listen to the solders on the radio as we passed all the houses lit up on 137th ave. and maybe most memorable, going to oma & opa's house to open gifts and eat treats [dutch treats that we only got once a year - like marzipan or those little chocolates in the shapes of wreaths]. a couple of years ago [maybe just 2 years ago] it was decided that christmas eve would be at uncle hank's house instead. it just doesn't feel right. that was the same christmas that was john's mom's first christmas alone, so it seemed proper to start creating our own traditions with our own kids. so tonight, for the second year, we are going to spend christmas eve with john's mom. we'll open the gifts that the boys get from us, with her. and when all is said and done, we will try to make it to uncle hank's...just because. even though the tradition has changed, the people have not.

it will be a strange gathering without marcy & andrew and the kids. marcy is the "get-everyone-together-and-keep-the-conversation-going" sibling. we're going to miss that this year.

so tired

I feel negligent. I have neglected my poor blog and the blogs of others. school is finally done and I am so exhausted. and I feel bad - I still haven't mailed out christmas cards; they're done, just not in the mail yet. and I've totally neglected my friends as of late...stuck in my own little world. it's only 7:30, but my bed calls. how sad is that? if I go to bed now so much stuff will just not get done...and who feels like wrapping gifts on christmas eve? yeah, not me. oh, and there is laundry that is calling my name. and yet, in light of all things good and special, my issues seem sorta insignificant and selfish. and if y'all are going to hold it against me that christmas cards didn't show up...well, you get the idea!

ANYHOO...
Suz, I just read your blog...I haven't been just not calling all week - I seriously had no idea. and I am really sorry.

and Shelley - thank you for the kind pm :o)

a good saturday night!

so we took the boys to see candy cane lane tonight...it's quite warm out, and the lane starts just a few blocks away. we bundled the boys up in their winter gear and headed outdoors. nate LOVED it and ty has decided that he can say the word santa - yeah, great going! good times, though...and that I enjoy!

not too sure even where to start

I think this has been one of my most intense teaching weeks of my career. as a result, I feel like I am in an impasse. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God has a plan for me and I know I am doing what I need to be doing with my life, but at this moment it just doesn't feel like it's enough. maybe I am just in denial about the spiritual aspect of my job. or maybe I am in tune with it and that's why this week was so incredibly difficult. I have a little girl in my class who is in so much crisis that I am paralyzed by my concern and so totally annoyed that I've let it get to me and on the other hand, know that if it didn't get to me, I would have to quit teaching. she has been an on going concern and this week it came to a head. her mom has no support network, no one to lean on and she is trying hard, but she's alone with a high, high needs child. and in all of the hurt and pain for this little girl and her mom, I keep hearing the words "hold on. perservere." how do I do this? how can teaching hurt so badly and affect me in such a raw way? I feel like this week has brought me to a crossroads. an impasse. I am on the verge of a huge career move. am I quitting teaching? yeah, not on your life. I have toyed with getting my masters degree in assessment, reading, special needs but I have decided I need to do crisis work with kids. okay, I didn't say that correctly. I already do crisis work with kids. I need to continue. it's okay to feel bad. it's okay to hurt. and it's okay to care. and cry. and do whatever I can to be Christ in their lives. I have thought about the path I need to take with my career and whether or not I would move in to a mentor/consulting role or whether I would pursue administration. I chose the latter. I need to remain in school. I need to stay where I am. I need to talk to Chris. and I need to go back to what I know: my job, my ministry, my life was made for this moment. I need to just perservere through the pain and grow into the woman-teacher-mother-wife-sister-daughter-friend I was born to be.

a new pic!

jen emailed this to me at school...we got to swing by her house on halloween & her mom and dad spoiled the boys and hauled out the camera! ty wouldn't let go of the coffee crisp...good taste in candy, I say!

I hate being sick...

it hit like a punch in the gut yesterday afternoon and only now do I feel half-way normal. not too sure if it was the flu or that gingerbread latte just hated me, but either way, it wasn't pretty. I feel bad leaving my kids at school for yet another day, and turns out they were fairly awful for the sub, but that isn't my fault. I just need to remember that. ah, the angst & guilt felt by mothers and teachers. speaking of which, why it is 10 pm and my kids are still awake??? grrr. that's what happens when nate falls asleep in the car!

speaking of which, I tried taking some pics of the boys this weekend; I'd like to get a christmas picture happening! it always happens that someone isn't smiling or doesn't looking at the camera.

k, so starbucks and I...

have a thing about the mug. now, I am not talking about just any run of the mill mug from the dollar store. no, no, no. the mug, the holder of the finest liquid known to man, is an art form. I want to be able to caress, with love, a mug that makes me happy. to wrap my hands around a mug that is pretty. it somehow makes coffee taste better. starbucks. now they have the mugs. I found one today - okay, so I found several, but I only bought two...one for me & one to ship to the queen of purple, 'cause it's purple. ANYHOO, I found a new mug and I am enjoying just looking at it! how crazy am I? yeah, don't answer that!

a few more pics!

I took these ones of ty last night...he LOVES nate's new hat! he was loving his new mittens, as well!

it's been a while...

boy, does life get out of control [busy!]. here are some pics from last night!

big smiles

nate & I took some pictures the other day...it's sometimes hard to get him smiling on camera; that's why I love these!

hi.

hi. my name is cori. I have issues. bread issues. grrr.

so, I've been off this week with a sore back & I've been following doctor's orders by icing & walking. but it's been sore. really sore. but I digress. so this morning, I drove john to work and had a thought. a cinnamon bun thought. an "I don't care if they are 467 calories" thought. the I-need-one-right-now thought. so I drove past cobs. wasn't sure if they were open yet & I didn't feel like getting out of the car so I just keep driving. phew! well, came home and the need for a cinnamon bun was still forefront in my little brain. so I had an idea! [yeah, once in a while...!] if I walked to cobs, I could justify a cinnamon bun. two birds, one stone...good thinking. it's a really chilly, fall edmonton morning. only 2 degrees and it's all cold and misty and the leaves are just crunchy as you walk...mmmm! k, so back to the story. I walk all the way to cobs and I begin to have some guilt issues. yeah, not about the cinnamon buns but about my bakery of choice. yes, I am purchasing yet again from the competition. THAT was my guilt issue. to make up for this, I've decided that I will take a trip down to bee bell just to make up for all my cobs purchasing. k, so my mind works in strange ways.

I get to cobs, all guilt aside, and I order my cinnamon buns and what do I see??? a scone. not just any scone. it's a still-warm, cheese & chive scone. yeah, I bought one. so, I walked home, crunching the leaves with my feet, letting my warm scone melt in my mouth. and my cinnamon buns are sitting on the counter. untouched. alone. do I want one now? heck no. nothing can trump the scone.

told ya I had bread issues.

the back ally...

now, most back allies here in edmonton are boring, garbage-laden or down right creepy. but ours, well it just lifts my spirits to drive down our back lane, especially when the leaves are so pretty. it's surrounded by old fences, older trees and orange leave galore. absolutly beautiful!

and speaking of backs...mine is not great. in fact, I don't even know what I did - maybe it's sharing the bed with a sick 3 year old. regardless [because irregardless is NOT a word], it HURTS!!!

thankfully though, this weekend has been pretty low-key. and in a bit, we will be heading to John's mom's house for dinner. and to watch the football game!

my nate...

I think I love these pictures!

I am SORE!!

I went to my second class with lesley. and now I hurt...BIG TIME! it's a good hurt tho, so I'm not complaining, but tomorrow should be fun. school exhausted me today & I lost it on the kids today...it was just not a good scene - they just wouldn't settle down enough and a few of them were just off, more so than normal. good thing tomorrow is a new day, fresh with no mistakes in it...for all of us! so, I'll try again tomorrow, and just hope for the best.

also, I took some pics of nate yesterday...I'll go load them up :)

so...

I got some great pics of ty today! none of nate, but there is always tomorrow...

some of the news...

so this week has had it's little events, to say the least! we got word this week that we were approved for financing on a new vehicle. john's car has been in major need of replacement, so we are buying a pontiac wave...little, cute & in blue! we get to pick it up on thursday!

also, I started a new exercise class this week - totally great fun. I think I will endeavor to go on monday & wednesday nights, and cancel my gym membership. I haven't been to the gym in over a month, so why bother paying for it, when I've found something that I really enjoy? not to mention, lesley is a hoot!

and the weather has been SUPER! I am going to take a walk this afternoon...maybe with ty! we'll see [about the ty part!]. I really want to get some pictures of the boys playing outside in the leaves...

a nice fall sunday...

we don't have church this morning [daryl & marge are away], so we are just taking it easy with the kids. nate is being nate & ty has a cold [he was up in the night, so very sad]. this week has been a little nuts for us - in fact, the last few weeks have been crazy, crazy, crazy. admittedly, I have been far too busy for my own good.

this weekend has been nice. nate, my mom & I went to the market yesterday morning. friday night, john & I went to the football game [sad outcome, but nice night!]. last night john, nate, my dad & dan went to the hockey game...nate was HYPER!! his very first hockey game.

and then there is school. there is a fine line, in my mind, between playing the game - balancing all the balls in the air, making everyone happy - and just wanting to scream and tell people that they are acting like they are in junior high. and these are not the kids I am talking about. I feel like I have created a position for myself that I don't really want...the knower of too much. people tell me things. I need to just learn to keep my big mouth shut. [yeah, like that is going to happen.] bottom line, I need to not be afraid to be honest with people, because for the most part, I really like the people I work with and I honestly care about them. I am always afraid. afraid that people won't like me. afraid that they don't think I am good at my job. afraid , afraid, afraid.

here in lies my problem in life. fear.

I just finished reading "the alchemist" by paulo coelho [be warned, everyone is getting this book for christmas!!]. coelho talks a lot about the fulfillment of one's personal legend, or doing what we were created in life to do. there is one quote though that sums up my struggle in life: "there is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure".

it's been a while!

okay, so I've been thinking. crazy, I know. I went for a long walk last week [the start of the week when it was still nice and fall-ish, not rainy & cold & generally miserable] and had a bit of a moment. I was doing the stairs into the ravine when it occurred to me that I am the only one responsible for the changes I want to see in my life. so, I guess it's going back to the baby steps. I am aiming this week to track all my calories, and NOT cheat on that! and wake up 15 minutes earlier than normal so I can eat breakfast at home and not on the run. I still need to cut the calories & add in the exercise, but that will come...I'll focus on the baby steps for now.

oh, and I'm FINALLY reading the alchemist...wowzers!

ARGGGGG!

okay, now, where did I leave off??? I didn't really check the blog before writing more. k, here's the deal: when I don't write, I don't keep myself accountable. I may be busy, but there is nothing more important than...well, this. this is my life line, my accountability. I am an addict. a junkie. I love food, I love eating, I love over doing it, I love not thinking and being numb to everything. so here's the deal. I can admit it and do nothing, or I can admit it, own it, and change the fudge out of it. I really need to go back and re-read all my posts when I was kicking butt.

I am just SO slumped in so many ways. numb is the word. I HATE IT! so this last month has been out of control busy & this last week has topped it off with some other sort of crazy. I need a BIG kick in the butt. no more excuses. and just be exceptional in my own life, for me. and above all, I need to slow down and just enjoy the ride.

so, here's my commitment to you: I promise to blog. to stay connected. and I think to stop my love affair with sugar.

okay, so about this week...

school has started [for teachers] & I am already grinding my teeth. although I am not really comfortable with talking about it in such a public way, I have been making a SERIOUS effort to be truthful and authentic with people. it's hard to speak the truth, but it's the only way I can do my job and feel good about myself. as it stands right now, it's going to be a tough year for that kind of thing. I just really need God's grace in this...and patience.

the family reunion was super fun, relaxing and just a nice time. some of us hiked down to the lake [see the picture I posted a couple days ago!!] and hung out at the super blue lake. we stayed in an rv [so unlike john & I]. we played with the boys. we spent time family. we drank a lot of baileys. it was all good.

marcy & andrew leave on sunday.

it's been a crazy week. and I'll post one more picture!

don't feel like much...

there is way too much going on right now, and I don't really know where to start or how to process, so I will spend some time blogging tomorrow. in the meantime, here are some of my FAVE reunion pictures [which was a really fun time, btw!!]...

and this is how I really feel...

I am just feeling so utterly overwhelmed right now.
tired.
sore.
headachy from all the sugar I've had tonight.
prepped for tomorrow night.
frustrated.
happy.
sad.
are there other emotions?

this summer has gone by way too fast. I went with the boys today to their new dayhome. and of course, nate loves it [she has cool toys]. and ty loves everything. I so wish I only worked a 4-day week. then all in the same breath, I am SO ready to go back to school. I know I should cut myself some slack over my parenting skills. I am not perfect. nor will I ever be. nate has been driving me nuts - I know it is a combination of me being tired, pms-ish, on a mission, and him being 3. I just want to enjoy my last few days home with them, not be annoyed and frustrated and crazed by my wonderful, moody, loving 3 yr old. and then there is ty, whose new thing is giving kisses. I love those boys. and so thankful for them. and I always want my face to light up when they enter a room. enough about that - I am making myself cry.

I am watching the messengers on tlc right now and this quote just caught me...I typed it as I heard it and maybe I am here, down here, watching tv late at night for a reason: "live your life making change, not waiting for it" [cornelious flowers]. so as always, time for a kick in the butt - quit mopping, cor. get a grip. stop waiting for it all to come to you & start making it happen.

we're MOVED!!!

YEEHAW! And here are the pics to prove that I have pictures up on the walls [okay, so none of these pictures prove that, but y'all know that I do!!]...so glad the hard part is OVER :)

they're driving me nuts

the kids, that is. ty has fallen off the couch 3 times this morning. nate pushed him one of the times. every toy in the house seems to be "owned" by nate, therefore anything ty touches...well, you get the idea! I know a huge part of it is being cooped up in an apartment filled with boxes. although I totally understand all of nate's confusion, it still doesn't excuse the behaviour. where is my camera...this is almost photo material! here it is: both boys fighting over toys in the midst of boxes!!

at least I got a ton packed yesterday! now to see how much I can get done today...

some pics from the race

WE FINISHED!!! and I hurt SO badly, but we kept a steady pace & came in at 3 hrs, 25 minutes!! this pic is of rae & I before the race started. I think there is one lone picture on Ben's camera of us finishing the race. what an amazing experience. john & ben & all the boys were at the top of groat road cheering us on, my mom & joy were on 149 st cheering us on, and my dad, joe & karon were a block before the finish cheering us on. the other picture is of the boys coming to cheer on their moms!

there were a couple parts of the race that were really tough. I had a hard time with groat road for some reason...funny since we walk it all the time. then the big hill out of mckenney ravine. I had to seriously talk to myself about that one...gave myself the persevere speech, listened to the driving beat of the music, and let myself be cheered on by absolute strangers. and I did it! then the last 2 km. who knew 2 km could be so long and hard. I literally had to will my legs to keep going. a tough mental battle, but seeing rae in front of me [I was slowing down, she was sprinting to the finish!!] keep me going. then, crossing the line. the beep of my shoe tag, my name being announced, all the well wishers. and WE DID IT! and I would do it again...and might just do it in february.

I had a huge soak in dad's hot tub this afternoon...and tomorrow I will be working out all the kinks while I pack some more. regardless, it is 9:20 and I am so incredible exhausted...so heading to bed!

persevere

I can see the marathoners from my front window, crossing the 107 st bridge. and I had some strange dreams in the night. although I do not consider myself very competitive, I think this race, today, could change that. I am just so excited about participating, doing, being active. the fact that I know my body can do this. it's exhilarating. ben & rae will be here in mere minutes to pick me up...and in about 1 hr, 15 minutes, I too, will be crossing the bridge. which brings me to my title. perseverance. hold on. don't fear. you can do it. you can finish. peresevere.

W427

that's my number for tomorrow's race...who would have thought that I'd be doing a race?? how totally bizarre is that? john & I got so much done today - the boy's room is completely packed, as is a lot of the rest of the house. it was so nice that aunty & uncle eric took the boys all day. we also went to the market this morning...boy, did I know a lot of people! the honey lady, the pasta girl, ran into joe [cousin] & the guy that we met at irene's st patty's day party, but whose name I cannot remember. john & I also went out for a nice dinner tonight. mmmm! and tomorrow is really the big day [can you tell that I am a bit amazed??]. and on that note, I should be heading to bed. I will have to fill everyone in on the rest of my week...the hit & run and all of it. but like I said...heading to bed! GOOD NIGHT!

2 more sleeps!

until we start walking...21k! I can't believe that it is almost here...all the training & walking & hills & time in our shoes! unbelievable!

8hrs

well, he let me sleep! and today has been a pretty good day all the way around. off to do some web tweaking - I have some sites that need to be worked on, and hey, anything not to do packing!!

although I am really too tired to do this right now,

if I don't I will lose what is in my head. two things happened to me today. okay, let me clarify. they did not happen to me, I had the tv on! first, I was watching TLC's "the messengers" and the topic tonight was perseverance. just what I needed to hear at the end of the worst eating day I've had in a really long time. there were 2 speeches that totally had me in tears - robert rutherford [supposedly not his best speech, but the content had me tearing] & cornelious flowers, who started his speech with: "don't tell me what you can't do" and ends with "tell me what you can do - persevere". on a night where I have crapped out on my life by going back to my old habits of stuffing my face insead of going to bed. I am so exhausted, yet not in bed. grrr. I am out of sorts, but the message I can't get out of my mind is the one of "persevere. go on. you can. don't fear."

and then there was the other show I happened to catch tonight: weighted [tonight was jocelyn]. I am so tired, I can hardly get all my thoughts out, but I am feeling inspired to make good choices for tomorrow. jocelyn said something in the show tonight that resonated with me. it was something like "the only difference between the me then and the me now are the choices I make".

well, it's off to bed for me...'cause you know nate will be up super early. grrr. maybe the mom will get a bit of reprieve tonight and have good little boys who will let her sleep in!!

I should be packing...

but instead I am stamping & watching a TON of tv! okay, so I've been hitting the gym this past week HARD CORE...and it's having some payoff's. although I still hate exercising, I am feeling better about myself, my health, my heart, my legs...you name it. I am feeling super good about me right now. I have lost another 4lbs [finally back to my end of June weight...grrr!] but still not under 190. double grrr. I have to say, it's not from a lack of trying.

august is turning into a crazy, busy month...moving, packing, cleaning, school [getting ready for], walking, family reunion, stamping, stamping, stamping. I am a bit discouraged that I don't have any workshops booked for this month, but that's okay...not too sure when I would fit that in with everything else that needs to get done.

john & I have been making some pretty big financial decisions as of late, as well - a bit stressful to finally have to be adults, when really I still want to be the kid. we need to buy a car & we need to responsibly deal with some of the debt that we are in. pray for us as we make these decisions. as everything good in life, it takes work. I am realizing as I take this journey in losing weight that other issues in my life are bouncing to the surface...and that I need to deal with them in the same fashion as I am dealing with food. expose the problem, take responsibility for my choices, talk to God, talk to john, deal with it head on. so far, so good...but I could really use your prayers. change is hard - internal, especially. the external is just a bi-product of the internal. God is good though, and faithful and for that I am so thankful!

about yesterday...

okay, so the day started all peaceful and mild and enjoyable...and ended there! nate has not been getting enough sleep as of late, and it is showing BIG TIME. we went to a birthday party yesterday afternoon and by the time we got home he was just exhausted. then this morning, I think he would have slept a couple of hours longer, but ty woke him up at 6am. ty just wanted a bottle, but then nate was really awake. grrr. at least ty naps in the afternoon - I wish nate still did!

we did go to the gym this morning, so the boys got to play in the daycare & burn off some energy. I walked 5k on the treadmill - hills! yippie!! the workout is done for the day. our half marathon is in just under 2 weeks and I am starting to get a bit worried about that. and, I need to start packing. john's mom is taking the boys a couple of afternoons this week - wed & thurs...so packing will be in order [after my dentist appointments!!]. and so the fun begins!

a sunday morning...

boys are up, the incredibles are saving the world, ty is eating, nate is playing. I like sunday mornings like this! we are leaving soon...so I'll finish this later!

have a happy sunday!

some cool things...

so I found some finds yesterday for the wee ones. first, this cool bib clip-y thing: www.kipiis.com basically you can attach anything to the clips to make a bib. bad thing, ty can pull it off. grrr. that's okay, it will totally do the trick in restaurant situations! second, a toddler cup: www.steadyco.com . I haven't tried it yet, but will soon! third thing: funky looking baggies - very vain & frivolous, I know...but uber cool! www.mobi-usa.com and number four: cup-a-cake. a little cupcake holder that just made me happy! I can take it to the market with me on saturday and nate will have a place to hold his cupcake! www.cupacake.com & whimsicalcupcakes.ca I like cool finds! gotta love that princess and the pea store www.princessandthepea.ca !!

a thought.

Something clicked with me last night when I was sitting around & John says to me "I thought you were going to go to the gym tonight" and I hummed & hawed & sighed and he said "you'll feel better if you go". Smart man! I just needed that kick in the pants. And as I was on the treadmill, I had a revelation [or a re-revelation, since I've had this one before!]: I do a pretty good job of staying within my calories, I drink a ton of water, I eat a lot of fiber, most of my diet is low fat & low sugar...so why is this such a painfully slow thing? I've been stuck in the low 190's FOR MONTHS! yes, I've been walking and training - but the key for me is the kicking into gear the whole exercise thing. I can always find an excuse, especially at 3pm or worse, 7pm. So John & I talked about affording to put the boys in the gym daycare for the month of August so that I am comitted to be at the gym every morning. He said to go for it. So, I'm going for it! It reminds me of the quote "when you fail to plan, you plan to fail". I feel like now I have a plan.

convention pics!

erika & I at the pep rally...they had this whole collegiate theme, and played some fun games. the only thing missing was an open bar...maybe I'll suggest that for next year!!

erika & I outside the riverton headquarters - in front of the crazy cool UPS truck!

this is a picture from inside the legacy museum...I ADORE this clock & this whole set up...there is also a picture of it in the IB&C [with the infamous ribbon holders, available in the upcoming mini!!]

ever wonder where that crazy paper comes from when you recieve a SU! order? that machine crinkles it all up, weighs the box & measures out the right amount of paper...I thought it was cool!

now I just need some pictures from erika because she took WAY more than I did!!

back on track!

just like the title says, today I am back on track with my eating! YEEHAW! now I just need to get off this computer & get some stamping done!

convention was a BLAST! it was SO great to spend all that time with erika, just hanging out, laughing, eating, fonduing...it was so much fun! and as much fun as vacation is, it is always good to come home. I'll post some of my fave convention pics in my next post!

my baby is three!

so we celebrated nate's third birthday today. so strange realizing that I am the mom of a three year old...who is presently crying under the door of his room because he is so overtired. grrr. we had a wonderful party this morning though...very hot at the park, but I think all the kids had a fun time.

and now for some pics!!

nate on his new bike...from grandma & opa!! [above]

nathan & nate eating cake! [below]

less than 2 hrs

nate was up at 630 this morning...grrr. good thing I left to walk with rae...8k this morning. now, I've had breakfast, my coffee cup is almost empty & I need a shower - BIG TIME!! then it is off to the airport for my big adventure!! YEEHAW! k, so I am a TAD excited! so off goes the phone, off goes the email, off goes EVERYTHING...and it's time to enjoy some me time. I'll blog if I get a chance, but I will FOR SURE post pics when I get back!

be good, kids...and call John if you are in DIRE need of all the stamps you may have ordered! [they should be here monday or tuesday!!]

in 24 hours...

I will be basking in the heat of Salt Lake City! WOW! I can't believe that I am leaving tomorrow already. time flies much too fast...but I hope this next week goes nice and slowly! it won't, but it's worth wishin' over.

I am exhausted today [whole other story] and I am thinking of heading to bed before I peeter out all together. I am walking with Rae tomorrow morning [good thing since I haven't hit the pavement since Tuesday], and then it's off to the airport! okay, off to bed for REAL!

oh, I meant to post a picture...

this picture is of sam, seth & ty...taken on whyte ave last week. SO CUTE!

and I like this one of nate peering in the window! so typical of his curiosity!

2 more sleeps!

okay, so the last few days have been busy. pedi, hair, eye appointment [which ended up coming with new glasses when all was said and done], breakfast with cor, coffee with suz...just busy! and I have to say, my kids are driving me a bit crazy. ty is teething and nate is just being 3 [so within 2 weeks, totally acting his age!!!]. although I have packed, I am having shoe issues. I have not walked since tuesday. grrr. and today, I ate like crap. and this is all disjointed because I am tired.

so, tomorrow - back on track with the eating. follow the schedule/to-do list. have lunch with andrea. spend time with the boys. drink lots of water. go for a walk. I just need to slow down a bit & enjoy the journey...although the destination is going to be SO FRIGGIN' COOL!!! [k, so I am just a BIT excited about SLC!]

about being 34...

I meant to spend some time doing my birthday reflections & goal setting...yeah, like that happened yesterday! LOL it was a good birthday - not a lot of fanfare, but some time with family & lots of well wishes from friends. I think I always send my family [mom, aunt, oma??] into a bit of a tizzy when I have a birthday, since I was the FIRST in the family & therefore a reminder of how old everyone is getting! I now get it. as I see nate get older [his birthday being in less than 2 weeks], I am reminded of how fast time flies. days can be long, weeks and years even longer. but looking back, how time just flies. maybe my goal for this year is one I have tried to achieve for many years. slow down. take time to enjoy every moment. life can get so extremely busy that it is easy to forget to live la dolce vita - the sweet life. maybe this is why I loved italy so much...taking time to have a coffee with friends, living life passionately, loving fully. we'll make that the mantra of my 34th year.

and goal no. 2...I have no plans of being unfit & unhealthy by my 35th birthday. that's a whole year to lose 40 or so pounds. yes, I have started on this path already & 25 is nothing to scoff at, but I need to remember that there is a goal in sight & not to lose heart even if I am having some clothing issues.

well, all that & it's monday now. how many more days until I leave??? not that many. I'll "blog" about that a bit later!!

I am...

officially 34 years old. how is it that I have NO feelings about this at all? I will continue this post later...john's mom just pulled up!

oh, and another thing...

6 more sleeps until SLC
13k walked this morning with rae
more than 3L of water consumed
be turning 34 tomorrow
ty is running
and new fave picture of my nate...