Friday, March 17, 2006

too many days like this would be a bad, bad thing

so this case of the blahs that I have has gone on too long. today I succumbed to the old habit of emotional eating, had a piece of caramel cake & half a container [the little ones!] of B&J's frozen-yogurt-brownie-yummy-goodness! add that to the 2 pyrogies, the muffin & coffee...what a wonderful day of emotional eating!

and, tonight we are going out, so I am not feeling very motivated to get back on track. would it be so awful to have a day to just wallow? question is, why am I wallowing [this is me not enjoying the wallow]? I think I just wish that we could afford for me to stay home. I like my teaching job, but I like my mom-job better. I get tired just thinking about how to do a good job at both. can I do it? of course. I just am going to miss the freedom of coming and going as I wish, meeting up for coffee, taking the kids to the mall, doing laundry in the middle of the day...those kinds of things. I just worry that I am going to neglect myself in all of this. I have been working SOOOOO hard to take care of myself emotionally & spiritually that I don't want that to suffer, then overeat, gain weight, get discouraged, give up... I've just got to make sure that I include time for me, somewhere in all my giving to others.

this whole half marathon thing will keep me exercising [which is VERY good] and Marcy just gave me a copy of a diet that I might try to get me off sugar [the big thorn in my side] long as my milk supply doesn't suffer and I am eating enough calories, I might just try it. it would mean giving up the lattes... I don't celebrate lent, but maybe between now & easter, I should do a fast of sorts - a sugar fast. I'll have to do some thinking on it...

lots to ponder today - st. patrick's day is one of my fave, so maybe I'll just stop over analyzing and just enjoy. maybe John will come home with flowers [I doubt it, but you never know!].

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