take a bow

well. the full moon tonight explains a whole lot. it's almost 11:30 and nether kid is asleep. in as much as I love my summer holidays, I am so ready to go back to school and get back into the routine. THIS is brutal. ty's been sleeping in until 10:00 every morning. no wonder he's not tired. tomorrow is the start of a three day stretch of 7 am wake-ups. and by wednesday night, I predict that there will be some earlier bed times. ty's also in a weird growth spirt right now. I can't remember the last time he ate so much. the kid is ALWAYS hungry - and not for junk food, but for fruit and vegetables and bread! he ate a huge bun with pickles and mustard for supper [ham & cheese on the side, of course!!], cucumbers and peppers, a cookie, grapes, yogurt, a couple of cheese strings, potato salad, fruit snacks, toast...like all since 5 pm. it's nuts. he's always been a grazer, never a big meal eater, but I am not used to this from him! nate, on the other hand, is a big meal guy. three pieces of pizza for him is nothing. he wants pyrogies for supper, I make 10. he's a full meal guy. ty is a different sort [shocking]. this has all been at the same time as his sleep disruption. I sorta feel bad for the kid. and I am loving the foreshadowing of my life in 8-10 years. food, food and more food. I'm going to need a second job.

good thing he's so cute [both of them!]...I think I'll keep them around for a while longer! these pictures were taken at the market on saturday. we took ty to get some new school clothes and he insisted on wearing them all weekend. new shoes, new jeans, new t-shirt. he'll be the coolest kid in kindergarten!

and nate got new glasses last week. it makes my heart just so sad when I go to eye appointments with him. I have been there. I got my first pair of glasses in grade one and it was just totally downhill from there. nate has my eyes. he got his first pair of glasses last year and this year when we took him in, his prescription had almost doubled. poor kid. he is in for a lifetime of "which is better? this one? or this one?" [I HATE that part of the eye exam!]. so, he got two pairs of glasses [for the price of one!] - they are the same style only different colours. one pair is grey and one is brown. and they are spiderman glasses with some cool webbing on the arms! I think they're pretty handsome. ty is fairly jealous, so he's been really wearing the ol' "sunglasses-with-no-lenses" a lot more...hahaha!!

well, I opened up my laptop thinking I didn't have much to write about. guess I was wrong. one kid is now asleep. john is now asleep and my ty is still up - and super restless. sigh.

everyday is like sunday

I wish. because I like sundays. they're low key and generally quiet. this is a good, good thing. the kids had a sleep over at their aunty's house last night. good for us, but not so good when they walked into the house. LOL they had a lot of sugar and not a lot of decent food [unless you consider doritos a decent food!! and yes, this has more to do with them than with my sister - she tries really hard to feed them good food!!!]. yeah. all hell broke loose and my quiet sunday wasn't so quiet anymore. grrr.

so now they're in the bath. and my bit of quiet is back. and I'm watching undercover boss. have you watched this show? I like it. I'm watching the "white castle" episode. super cool. the boss guy can't get the buns in the bag. LOL I wonder what it would be like to be a student in my classroom...would I like me? would I feel safe? would I feel like I was able to risk and do my best? things to think about as I begin another school year [one more week!!].

okay, now he's working night shift on the drive through. SUPER FUNNY!! and the kids are starting to scream and definitely mess up my tv watching. I am totally the queen of the good mom's club today!!!

I know what I am

so we watched the last three episodes of friday night lights tonight. there's a group of us that gets together to watch, and we usually pvr them so we can watch three or four episodes at once. well tonight was that night and now season four is over. so sad. I love this show. I am going to miss coach taylor [see below!].

there is one season left...are you watching? ['cause trust me, it's not all football...!!]

full hearts, clear eyes, can't lose. and they whooped the panther's arses tonight in a sweet, sweet victory! it may just be tv, but I *heart* my FNL!!

devil town

I'm tired of the taylor swift song title/blog titles. opting for tony lucca tonight.

so I was thinking tonight of my birthday - yes, six weeks ago - and the fact that I got to ride the roller coaster at new york new york that night. I had kinda forgotten about it. strange. okay, now I don't generally like rides, but it's not like I hate them either, they're just not my first choice, so that's kinda why I wanted to ride it on my birthday...a take a risk kind of thing. well this roller coaster is no better or worse than any other I've been on, but it was HOT outside. and the desert wind was fierce. so we get on and it starts climbing. and I'm a bit scared, knowing what's coming. and then we fall and I feel like my eyes are totally burning out of my head. the wind was hitting my contacts like something awful. so I close my eyes. and keep them closed the entire time. didn't see the view. just enjoyed the sensation of the movement and tried to guess when we were upside down! but honestly, I missed most of it. and now I kinda regret it. the point of taking a risk is not doing everything possible to not see what's happening. the point of taking a risk, or doing something out of the ordinary is to see it and feel it and taste it...all of it. all those sensations.

not too sure why I'm all philosophical about this tonight - just got me thinking. it's not just about saying you did it, but about totally being in that moment while you're doing it. maybe that's what a good run feels like too. and since I think I carb'ed up for one tonight [mmmm...yummy pasta!], maybe I should strap on the ol' shoes tomorrow and at least walk.

xoxo

tell me why

this kid makes me laugh so hard. his new love...an old pair of sunglasses with the lenses missing! oh, and a little bear with a mountie hat [yes, he's wearing it!!]. ty is such a character with his own sense of style - something I totally don't get. he is some kind of cool and I love that about him! today he totally wanted a different jacket because the one I gave him "didn't go" with what he was wearing. HE'S 5!! on the flip side, he's FIESTY!! and man, he holds a grudge! don't do something awful to him in the morning because by bedtime, you'll have PAYBACK!

love him, love him...although some days I don't like him!!

mad world

more bits of randomness on a tuesday afternoon:

1. I am going to miss lazy afternoon's of watching csi.

2. I am totally procrastinating right now. I have so much to do and absolutely no energy to do it...grrr.

3. I found some m&m's in the bottom of a bag today. I bought them in vegas - they're coconut flavored. LOVE!

4. my hair is frizzy today. SUPER IRRITATING!

5. watched my fave movie this morning - ocean's 11. L-O-V-E!

6. I'm in good book withdrawal. grrr.

7. I really want a nap, but know that napping is a very bad thing at almost 4 in the afternoon!

8. I miss warrick on csi. [yes, I'm watching an old episode right now!]

9. I miss vegas...oh, but so can't afford that one right now!!!

10. one more tuesday. so sad. and tomorrow, going into school. blah. not ready...NOT READY!!!!

xoxo

gimme sympathy

so it's started. it's august 16th and they've officially started: the pre-school nightmares. last night, it was about not being able to get to my classroom when the bell rang. strangest thing. I was at school, I was dressed [some of my pre-school nightmares are about NOT being dressed!], I was on the other end of the building and I couldn't get to my classroom. yes, they've started. good times. there is only one more monday of freedom. and although I am VERY ready to go back to school, it's really quite a depressing thought. I am liking my days of leisure. my sitting about with a coffee, being able to just hang out with the kids and stay in my pj's all day if I want!

oh well, reality is inevitable. I am going into school on wednesday to set up my classroom, that will feel better.

last night john & I watched grand torino with clint eastwood. it's a couple of years old, and not my usual style, but I totally loved it. kinda a story of revenge and redemption all in one.

and now wow. I am sitting in a starbucks downtown and am completely baffled by what people wear. tight, tight, TIGHT workout pants. on someone totally NOT working out. and that's not even the real problem. the fabric is so stretched out that I can see that she's not wearing any underwear. really? I want to know this? the teacher in me wants to pull her over and say "sweetie, we can all see your bum," but really, she probably knows. and apparently doesn't care. *shudder*. this is why I am generally honest about stuff like this with my kids at school [okay, well in private...not in front of the WHOLE class!].

sorry, a total "off the topic" rabbit trail...not that I really had a topic. or was on topic.

I am debating buying the new brandon flowers cd - he's the lead singer for the killers. his new single has been released and I kinda like it. not too sure when the entire cd is released, but I am looking forward to hearing the whole thing. [okay, just found out that it won't be released until september. it could be the making a of a great "back to school" itunes playlist...]

okay, is that enough randomness for a monday morning? THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE!!!! *sigh*

hayloft

what do you do when the carbon monoxide detector decides to do some test beeping at 630 am on a sunday morning? well, after a kid woke up, and the alarm company was called just to double check and I figured out what was beeping and how to stop the beeping...well, we made coffee & pancakes and watched "a new hope".

and because I don't have a good "from scratch" recipe, I use my coyote mix - 3 pancakes for a serving for about 3 points. I LIKE!

mmmm...first one in the pan - the colour is all wonky in this picture...strange!

the boys helped by pushing the button on the coffee maker [and counting scoops!]

then they settled on the couch for some star wars...nate refused to pose for a picture.

mmmm...with homemade blueberry syrup!

so maybe not the grandest start to a sunday [I had plans to sleep in...!], but hey, not too bad overall!! and since I finished "the girl who kicked the hornet's nest" last night, I am now currently without book. might be a good thing for getting things done this next week!!

play with fire

so it's been a rainy, rainy day. blah. I don't love rain days when my kids are around...they get SO BORED!! thank goodness rae came over & left jackson! so now, they're watching astroboy. they've all see it before, I haven't. HOWEVER, I watched astroboy when I was a kid! the old tv version.

okay, this version without the asian writing! good, good times. needless to say, I sometimes like when they re-do my old kid cartoons!

off to keep reading [and fold laundry, and clean bathrooms, and empty a few boxes, and purge some stuff.......]

xoxo

I'll take you there

so I got a hair cut today - shorter than the last few times. my hairdresser always straightens it when she cuts it, so it's always a bit funky the day of a cut. I am trying to get my bangs down to my chin - when their curly. I still have another year of growing, I'm sure!! I like it though...

there was something else I was going to share. totally forget...

OH! so, I'm officially on book THREE!! and it's killing me that I can't read right now - between getting the kids fed and all that jazz, my book is just sitting. I took it out for lunch today, but my lunch was so spicy [pad thai from wok box] that I kept having to wipe my nose...and couldn't read at the same time!!

SO, short post today - off to read! [btw, book two was good but I know that book three is going to be GREAT!!]

xoxo

I love rock & roll

and I could love running, but for the peeing. today was a bit better, but man alive. birthing children really wrecked me. sigh. they're worth it. kinda. LOL and I forgot that I was on the tail end of a nasty sinus cold. oh yeah, running one and one's while hacking up nastiness is just never good. so I switched mid way to walking one minute, then doing a large incline for one minute. 30 minutes of pure lovely torture.

then I went to dairy queen with ty. he had 3 immunizations today. and man, my kid is brave. so yes, a mini-blizzard and some chicken strips TOTALLY tasted good after my work out!!

and although I didn't go to weight watchers this week, I did get on my own scale and was down 3 lbs. WHOOOHOO. okay, well my scale isn't totally calibrated. let's see if I can keep it up for next week.

and now, exhaustion. this is double good.

shimmer & shine

okay, so I have a new obsession. other than jimmy rankin doing "saturday night" as an ending tune with jakob dylan, brandi carlile & colleen brown on sunday afternoon. seriously, my favorite rankin family song. live. and jimmy, that man can SING.

okay, back to my new obsession. stieg larsson. I just finished reading the girl with the dragon tattoo. L. O. V. E. D. such an amazing, dark, wonderful mystery. and the main characters are so flawed and heroic and not twilight-ish that I've decided that if lisbeth salander was going to ever want a best friend, that I could be that person.

and then I watched the movie - with subtitles. and although the movie is NEVER as good as the book, and this was no exception, it was still a good movie. I was a bit bothered that there were really important things that were left out, but I do understand that a book of this size really would need three - two hour movies to do it any justice. they had to leave out something. or a bunch of somethings. and they did. still, it was a good movie and the actress that played lisbeth was lisbeth.

and so today, I went and bought book #2 in the trilogy. and I started reading this afternoon while the kids were at the splash park!!

and then there is still book 3. yeah, it will be done by the end of next week, I'm sure! so, there's my big obsession. I love mysteries. and I love these mysteries. it's really too bad that there are only three books. I could live with triple that many! my only concern is that hollywood is also making these into movies - and if the hollywood version of lisbeth disappoints, I'll be bitter and twisted!!

okay, ending here. this thunder storm is a nasty bugger. I don't need my internet coping out on me!!

xoxo

diamonds on the inside

and today, my biggest concert dream came true - I got to sit on a hill, on a warm summer night and watch ben harper perform. ahhhh. sweet bliss. seriously in my top three concert experiences. the man did not let me down. so mellow. smooth. and the atmosphere was amazing with the hill lit up by hundreds and hundreds of candles, and the hazy edmonton skyline in the background.

I am going to bed tonight a happy, happy girl!

xoxo

the woman in you

so, the basement floor is SO close to being done, it's ridiculous!! I just have some touch ups to do - then I can move furniture!! and UNPACK!! and then CRAFT!! I'm just waiting for paint to dry. and that's like watching a pot of water boil. TAKES FOREVER!

so today, is a lazy day filled with trying to kick this cold, cleaning, reading and watching tv. super exciting. I can't remember the last time I was this sick - I avoided a ton last school year, so I'm completely out of practice...at being sick! needless to say, I'm thinking that taking a sick day is okay.

on a completely different topic, I've been curious about my blog feed - I am amazed by how many people read my blog from completely different places - places where I am pretty sure I don't know people!! okay, so I know people in philly & florida but russia? anyways, I think it's pretty cool. even if they are google-stumbles!!

anyways, my wee ramblings for the day. it was either this or eat wagon wheels. I chose writing! YEAH ME!

burn to shine

less than 24 hours and I'll be watching van morrison at the folk festival!! which THEN means that it's less than 48 hours until I get to see BEN HARPER!!! okay, so not since going to see Kings X in the late 90's have I been this excited about a concert. I *heart* ben harper. love his music. love, love his voice. I am a total folk fest rookie, but I couldn't pass this one up! SWEET!

so all my big plans yesterday - the get up early and walk plans? yeah. I woke up sick this morning. a total sore throat from h-e-l-l. I've tried soaking it out with buckleys cold and flu AND cold f/x. we'll see how that works for me tonight. I did get the first coat of paint on the floor today - and I'll finish it up tomorrow morning. the blue is looking GREAT! I am really happy with it.

all this and ty has an ear ache. I think I'm going to get that looked at in the morning. poor kid. the summer sickness has hit the house - I'm out to purge! look out!

boots like these

well, a successful long weekend.

I went for a 3k walk on sunday morning and did some push-ups along the way. holy dinah was I hurting this morning!! not feeling so hot today [could have more to do with my lack of sleep combined with the couple of margaritas I had last night] so I chose to nap, and not walk. I do have all my things set out for tomorrow morning though - I'd like to be up at 630 and do 30-45 minutes before John heads to work. we'll see. although I am feeling motivated tonight, who knows what that will translate to in the morning!

and this week is craft-space week...FOR REAL! I have 3 days to get it together, so tomorrow morning I begin! and since I'll have to take a break to go visit a wee baby this week [right, Suz?], it's more important for me to take advantage of the time tomorrow!!

and I'd like to say that I'll have basement pictures for you after tomorrow, but you never know!

sweet caroline

how does it go? "good times never seemed so good". I think that can be said for lazy saturdays. the boys and I went to the farmers market in st. albert this morning. it was lazy and warm and lovely. we went with some friends and just took an enormous amount of time to wander through everything. and now I want a nap!

I have no energy for much else today - and I'm not too sure why. it's not like I did anything overly stressful this week! but I haven't been sleeping well and I think that's never super good. I have to say that I am having a tough time writing these last few days - I'm sure that's a bit obvious with my lack of enthusiasm!! I am trying really hard not to be so disconnected from my life, but I'm feeling a bit disconnected. distracted. generally out of sorts. and yes, this has been going on for a while now, but I'm getting a bit irritated by this. I need to snap out of it and just get on with it. and it's weird because it's not depression, just discontent. I am not super happy with how things are in my life. and it's me. all me. and I feel like I need to wake up and just take the reigns back. and I know that a really good portion of this comes from my health - I've stalled big time. not so much with how much or what I eat, but with exercise. I have been doing NOTHING. and the lack of general muscle tone is catching up to me!! so, I need some motivation. I need some incentive. I am going to see erika in seattle for thanksgivings in october. that is 11 weeks away. even if I could lose a pound a week, that would be 11 pounds. which would put me where I was last year at this time. if I could lose 11 pounds and firm up the ol' stomach/arm areas, THEN the 11 pounds would feel more like 20 because...well, it just would! so, I've been generally good about blogging this month [almost every day!!] and I think I am going to start using you all as my accountability. I know that I will sleep better, feel better and just be better if I take care of this body I've been entrusted with. and like I've said before, sometime behaviour needs to change before the attitude does! so, starting today, I'm going to log some cardo. and I'm going to pull out the weights and start taking care of these super flabby arms! and the day I get down to 189 [my nemesis!!] I am going to get my tattoo. and if I reach that by the time seattle comes, I'll make erika come with me!!!

who's with me??

it's raining men

okay, so maybe it's just raining rain. I'm running out of spontaneous song titles to name blog posts with! I may have to go to the ol' iTunes list!

so, went to the lake. sigh. and it was all good. I got some sun, some laughs, some reading in...it was really needed. and lovely.

and I registered the kids for soccer camp again next week. they are going stir crazy around here with no yard to play in, so I figured this was a good thing for both them AND me! we'll see how it all plays out next week! I didn't get as much done in the basement this week, but knowing that I also have next week, totally helps. John is going to help me get some things started this weekend.

and on that note, I am going to bed. I am finally tired.

xoxo

london calling

so, today was productive. andrea came over and we hang curtain rods downstairs. and I got a glimpse of the new curtains - I'm gonna LOVE them!! then I hung a curtain rod upstairs in our bedroom, although I don't have "official" curtains yet, but hanging our one lone curtain is better than having it tacked, don't you think? then I hung shelves. yeah. bad idea. oh well, there's not much I can do about it - and trust me, I've tried!! I refuse to put more anchors into the wall!!

then at supper time [because I'm not the smartest kid on the block!], I started painting canvas black. and glue gunned old cd's to the surface. [and yes, this is intentional space between the two rows!]

and then the stamps and acrylic paint came out and I did this little piece for the boy - thought it may be better than doing it directly to the wall! I got these band names from a web site that listed the top 100 british bands of all times. not too sure if I agree with all of them, but hey, it gave me something to go off of!

and then the red cross, with the title of a song by the clash [a band I quiet enjoy, and I think ty knows all the lyrics to this one!].

and then my final idea is to do a "who" logo or an "underground" logo on one of his walls as well - circles are hard though, so I'll have to spend some time thinking about it!!

and nate's room, well, I painted a canvas for him too, but it's not done yet. and I have an empty black canvas as well - but he likes stars and space and stuff like that, so I may get some glow in the dark stars and put them on the black canvas...we'll see!

still didn't paint the basement floor - will do it before the week is over. it was hard working on these projects and not having my craft room set up - I have paint mess EVERYWHERE!! tomorrow is a gong show, thursday is sit at the lake day, so friday will be the paint day! fun, fun, fun!

xoxo

sittin' on the dock of the bay

okay, more realistically, sitting on my front step with my computer, my phone and my coffee. enjoying the silence. and the sun. now, let me clarify silence: I can hear the sounds of construction to my right - drills, hammers, swearing. some traffic on winterburn road behind me. and the damn grasshoppers in front of me [okay, well in the lovely flower patch across the street, but you get my drift! the kids are at soccer camp this week - full days, every day. drop them off at 830, pick them up around 5pm. I have big plans to get a lot done today - hang curtain rods, build a shelf or three, paint the basement floor...

but for now, I am going to sit in the hot sun, at 915 in the morning, drink my coffee, read some blogs and just enjoy.

I can't get no satisfaction

so today I painted. I did vertical stripes on nate's wall in elegant eggplant, wild wasabi [which looks more like certainly celery] and real read. I chose stripes because I hate cutting ceilings and baseboards!!! I wanted a quick fix of colourwithout doing an entire wall. when all was said and done, it wasn't that hard. I have a super laser level that sticks to the wall. turn it on, level it, stick it on, and put up your painters tape! do that a couple times at a couple of different levels and you have lovely stripes. THEN, you have my painting mishaps [they ALWAYS happen!] where I mucked up the corner. so, I went around the corner on a couple of the stripes and varied some of the lengths. this may drive my sister CRAZY,but I don't really care - it's a kid's room, not my living room!

then I did ty's room. I have a vision for ty's room that included a union jack on the wall, old cds attached to the wall, black lettering with band names, and some framed cd covers. a total british invasion/punk room. well, the union jack is done. that too was a ton of tape & lasers! I didn't use the level part, but I did use a piece of computer paper to get a right angle and an ikea ruler to measure the lines - the flag ratio of 2:3 was super important for it to look like a flag. so, 100cm x 150cm was my outline. then I taped off the center, then the diagonal lines - trying hard to follow a diagram! although there is a few differences between the real thing and my flag, I was SUPER impressed with how it turned out! tomorrow, the black paint is coming out!!! I'd also like to hang some industrial hooks for ty - to hang his guitars off of. and maybe I can find some old cds to start creating my one wall with. he is my kid that likes his music...but it's kinda turning into an old tlc/trading spaces/crazy doug room!!! LOVE!!

and I bought concrete paint for the basement. and the lovely canadian tire paint guy tinted it for me - AQUA!! that may be tomorrow's project!

sunday, bloody sunday

so we celebrated nate's birthday this weekend. his actual birthday was on thursday, but we did a small "cousins" birthday supper on wednesday night, nate had a friend sleep over and a special dinner on thursday then we went to chuck e chesse with nate, ty and two of nate's friends for his little party. then today, john's mom came over for lunch to help celebrate! it's been a true birthday week for my 7 year old!

apparently my little stretch of "crazy" has subsided. not feeling so crazy anymore - really bad pms, I guess - nothing like some severe overreaction to make a girl a bit crazier than normal!!

so this upcoming week, my boys are in full day soccer camp. it's a whole week of no kids, which translates to a a whole week [okay, like 3 days!] of stuff around the house. I am seriously wanting to work on the basement and get my stamping stuff all pulled out. I NEED TO MAKE THINGS AGAIN!!!! I am bit discouraged with my lack of genius in this space as of late, but tomorrow I am determined to figure something out!! I'll post before & after pictures tomorrow [if I remember!]. any good ideas in covering the concrete floor?? I may just paint!!

one love

my obsession with the food network is BACK!!! the next food network star is the best reality show on tv. seriously, bobby flay is on it!! LOVE! I am coming into the show about half way through but it's my new fave!

okay, shall I tell you about the new tattoo I want? I have wanted a tattoo for a long time, but I hate pain and more importantly, I've never discovered anything I'd want to experience the pain for. well, I think I have it. and seriously, it's punctuation, so don't mock. LOOK HERE! yes, the ellipsis. it's kinda like a "to be continued", which is how I feel about myself - like I'm not done yet.

there's my gig. and I see my husband driving up - so, have a great evening!

i'se the b'y

I am endeavoring to write positive things today because I am feeling a bit irritated with my kids. ty is having a really hard time settling down at night as of late and tonight was no exception. he is trying my last nerve on every level. and he is STUBBORN! [I may have mentioned that once or twice before!] and tonight I may have let words out of my mouth that were really hurtful. he was hurt. and once I realized it, I felt bad but he was still too hurt and too angry to hear me say sorry. in the last ten minutes or so, he's wandered into my bed and I got a chance to talk to him. to tell him that I love him so much. to tell him that I was sorry for what I had said. and now he's asleep. makes me wonder how many times I say things and am totally unconscious of how my words come out. or the impact they make. that I say things in jest and people don't know that. that I wound, not heal with my words. and I'm not just talking about my kids, but people in general. people I love. people I don't even know. just something to ponder.

on a more positive note, nate had his first sleep over last night - a little buddy of his stayed here yesterday! and the boys were WONDERFUL! and I survived chuck e cheese. john & I, nate & ty and two of nate's little friends went today for nate's birthday. I have to say, going at 4 pm was a good idea. it was super quiet [other than the uber loud "chucky" music] and the kids were awesome!!

and now, I am going to eat some m&m's - my lime green, purple, pink & orange m&m's from the m&m store in vegas! and I may just share with my once-again bald husband!

xoxo

I like fun

and this, my friends, looks like a ton of fun! I was lead to this blog by my friend susan and it looks like fun. F-U-N! who wants to play with vodka this weekend??

making vanilla...

what I like about you

well, seven years ago today I was birthing the wee nate. he was in trama, I was belted to all the machines, epidural in place. he was an emergency c-section, so I don't really remember much, other that just wanting to be done. I had been at the hospital since the day before - my water had broken the afternoon before and they had induced labour. well, by 11:00 am, I was being prepped for surgery, since his heart rate kept going down. and, by 11:30 [or so!] nathaniel michael joseph fraser saw the world for the first time. john was the first one to hold him, while I was getting stitched up. sigh.

I make it sound like it was all smiles and daisies. yeah, no. the first kid gets the brunt of all the bad parenting! and although we're only 7 years in, and although I know there have been many, many tears and mistakes and hugs and kisses and cuddles, I do quite like the kid [most of the time!]...especially in the mornings when he is awake and lovely and kind. nate has turned into a smart, serious, sensitive boy who loves his brother, loves to read and loves sports. he is naturally coordinated and is skilled at most things with a ball!

happy birthday, my sweet son. I hope being 7 is full of adventure and fun!

it's an ordinary day

so it may be a list day:

1. john found out yesterday that he is getting phased out of his job. he has 6 more months and then a bit of a severance package, but basically he's being laid off due to a company merger. I have mixed feelings about this. a bit of stress, just because it's income. but a bit of anticipation as well because I would really like him to love his job as much as I do AND be compensated fairly for the work he does. I don't really believe either are true right now. sometimes you have to be kicked out of the nest if you're going to learn to fly...

2. I bought a wee dyson today. the cheapest one I could find. plus I got first 25% off, then another 10% off. this is good. I've never had to buy a vacuum before, but I like this one. plus, it's orange!

3. I got curtain rods today. by next week I should have curtains installed downstairs [they're still being made]. THEN, I'll take some pictures!

4. I finished reading a book this week - I've been hesitant to talk about it because oprah was ranting and raving about it - and as of late, I've not been worshipping at the church of O. HOWEVER, the author of women, food & god was on last week and it caught my attention. and I bought the book. and I think I need to read it again. it's really about intuitive eating. listening to your body, etc. and it's about not dieting [which, let's be honest about, I am just not ready NOT to diet!!]. the principles do work alongside weight watchers though, so I've been trying to follow her eating guidelines AND still stay within my points. we'll see how that pans out for me on the scale.

5. my body hates rice. I like how it tastes, but man, the kickback is something fierce. life's too short to eat things that make my belly sad.

6. it's nate's 7th birthday tomorrow. good topic of conversation for tomorrow!

7. things are slowly getting done around the house - the rough grade outside was started today. we have a bobcat conveniently parked in our front yard. tomorrow someone's coming to fix my bathroom tub [I'd like cold water to come from the cold side and hot water to come from the hot side] and then on monday, they are fixing my bathroom cabinet. FINALLY!

8. went to guru for lunch today. lovely, as always!

9. I may be at the end of my list. super exciting times in the fraser house!

life is a mystery

well, apparently I needed to vent last night. and apparently I needed some sleep.

I enjoy how the morning can cast new light on a new day. and how waking up to sun and not rain can really change my mood from "I don't want to get out of my bed" to "I can't wait to start my day". now legitimately, it's only 615 am and I am nowhere near ready to get up, but the sun is promising.

although the boys lost a trip to the space science centre today [poor bed time behaviour], I think it may be a bike-to-starbucks day.

I have forgotten how much I enjoy life from the second story. our last house was a one-floor wonder. I loved the big window in the front where you could watch the world go by, but our bedroom window was in the back and generally covered by trees. the apartment we had before the house had second story windows - lovely large ones where we watched creepy guy from upstairs go for walks. but our bedroom window in that place was super small. laying in bed and looking at my new bedroom window reminds me of the windows I had in the haunted house, when I lived with susan & shonnette. THAT was an amazing house! and oh the stories we could tell!! I just remember being given $20 from the neighbour lady and told to get her some wine! needless to say, the windows in that house were great. and this morning reminds me of that. I can't wait to get curtains that actually open [vs. the ones tacked to the wall!] so I can lay here and just watch the clouds and take in the new noises that are our street.

it may be early, but I am thinking of sneaking downstairs, putting on the coffee pot and sitting with my book for awhile - before the day really begins!

what do you do with early mornings? the ones that don't call you to work?

and it burns, burns, burns...

I am announcing it here, folks. I think I am going crazy. my body is hating me. my brain is on a different planet. my hormones are out of control. and if I can remember, tomorrow I am making an appointment to see my doctor. I do believe I am in the beginning stages of menopause. now, many of you are going to pat me on the head and say, "there's no way! you're way too young!". well yes, and no. I am too young. but really, 38 is not that young. nor are genetics on my side. all of the women on my mom's side of the family were nearly done menopause by 40. seriously, I am going crazy. young or old doesn't matter at this point. at this point, I need some SERIOUS help.

and it starts with my kids. they make me want to SCREAM! I do not know how to de-bug their bad behaviour. their inability to go to sleep. their general sassy mouths and actions. their need to purposely break things. I am about two minutes from canceling nate's birthday party because it's 10:37 and he is still not asleep. grrr.

I've been out of sorts for months now and I've been able to blame it on all sorts of things going on in my life. I've been able to blame it on circumstances. yeah, not any more. it's all me, baby. [yes, I do believe my martyr attitude is to be blamed on my very severe PMS. go with it!] so yeah. if I remember, I will call my dr. tomorrow and make an appointment. I will get to the bottom of this. I will own it. and perhaps, I will also remember to make appointments for the boys to get their eyes checked and for ty to get his pre-k shots! EEEEEKKKKK!

I love my life, I love my life, I love my life...

:o)

feelin' the love

my sister rocks. she took the boys yesterday afternoon...for two whole nights. john and I have gotten more things done in the two days than we have since the weekend we moved in. we got the boys rooms re-configured....we had started them in the same room [they've shared for 5 years] but they've been just so on each other for the last week that we decided to separate them. ty's big concern was whether or not he could sleep in the same room as nate but keep his toys and stuffies in his own room. YES! I hope they both like what we've done to their spaces. it's still a bit temporary, because I have some paint plans, but it'll do the trick for now!

I still have all the boxes stacked in the garage, but I'm starting to feel like I'm in a groove. that I can get this seriously done in the next ten days.

so, apparently I have nothing interesting to blog about tonight! or perhaps I just don't have the emotional energy to dig any deeper. and that's totally okay with me!!

xoxo.

let's go dancing tonight

okay, so for some reason I have the rankin family "you feel the same way too" stuck in my head. not too sure why, but hey, a decent song!

it's a list night.

1. my closet is done. [thanks to coralee!]

2. the desk is built & furniture basically arraigned in that space. [thanks to john!]

3. I despise where the cable outlets are located upstairs in this house.

4. friday night lights is the best show on television. kyle chandler [coach taylor] is a hottie.

5. I was down 2.4 today. yeah me. yeah vegas!

6. I am beginning to shut down the voice. the one in my head that feeds me lies.

7. I smoked a damn fine cigar tonight.

8. I've not had an ounce to drink in 24 hrs - ooohhhh! big lie! I reached #10 and realized I had a martini with lunch.

9. the boys and I had a seriously good time at the market today.

10. I had a most delicious time out with my good friend today - she took me to lunch on the patio at earls. it was lovely to spend the time!

okay, very random. each needs some explanation or context, but since it's 1:30 am, that'll have to wait until later!

more on change

change is not something I excel at. I don't think many of us do. decisions often come with consequences - good or bad. I think when we perceive ourselves as making a good choice, we don't often prepare our hearts and our heads for the change that those choices lead to. on the flip side, when we make poor/unwise choices, we are always sorta waiting for the ball to drop, knowing that actions have consequences.

I'd like to know how to better prepare for change. I've thought on this a lot and have a bit of a theory. now, I know you are all just DYING to know...! LOL the anticipation is just killing you, isn't it??

1. destressing. change is more easily handled when there are less stressers in our lives. the least amount of stress possible will always lead to less anxiety over change. seems rather obvious, eh? like not getting married during report cards or moving at the end of the school year or birthing a child in the middle of june. [yes, I have some experience here!!!]

2. be present. seriously. change is tough and sometimes painful, but you just have to live it. survive it. breath it in. enjoy it. laugh a ton, drink a ton, let the f-bomb slip occasionally. quit double guessing the whys and the hows and just enjoy the ride. totally easier said than done. it's kinda like a roller coaster. you seriously just have to hold on, [close your eyes if you're me!] and enjoy the ride. it's not really fun being all bumped around and such, but seriously, it's kinda cool - eyes closed or not - when you know you are hanging upside down over the hotel pool!

so I suppose I need to take a bit of my own medicine and stop trying to resist. the change has come. it has happened. now maybe I just need to destress and enjoy it.

I've got my mind set on you...

so I've been thinking about this quote this week. I poached the image from THIS blog. change is difficult. I'm finding all the transition very difficult - in the last 8 weeks we've packed up a house, moved in with John's mom, finished school, finished soccer, moved into the new house...phew! if I am having difficulties adjusting, then I need to remember that it's going to take my kids a bit of time too. I am trying to cut them a bit of slack and give them a ton of love, but sometimes I forget that it's just as hard for them as it is for us.

I have more thoughts on this, and on general change philosophy, but I think I'll spend some time on it later today - after I go to IKEA again and finish building my closet!

breakfast...it's all in the eggs

my favorite part of being home for the summer is that I have time to make myself breakfast every morning. during the school year, it's nuke & go but being at home means that I can have eggs and toast every morning!! my mom recently has become vegan. I have toyed with this idea but my love for eggs has stopped this idea cold. eggs are my stranded-on-a desert-island food. they are a perfect bit of loveliness in a shell! okay, you get the idea. in an effort to be more conscious of the quality of food that I put in my body, I have been working to find foods that are raised or grown locally and my eggs are no exception. I havefound the most lovely eggs [they actually taste like eggs!]. I buy them at the downtown market from sunshine organic farms. if you are in the edmonton area, they are worth coming down to the market for!

needless to say, I was going to tell you about my most delicious breakfast this morning and I got distracted by eggs!! I made the most yummy egg thing - it currently is nameless! I took a bit purple onion and half a red pepper and sautéed them in some EVVO. then I beat two eggs in a bowl and added them to the mixture. some pepper on top and I let the whole thing sit for a couple of minutes - until the bottom cooked. THEN, I added some happy cow low-fat cheese on top [I haven't ranted and raved aboutthis lovely cheese yet...two pieces for one point!]. then I put the whole frying pan in the oven under the broiler for a couple of minutes [you have to keep an eye on it or it will cook REALLY FAST!] until the top was cooked.

okay, seriously, the cheese with the eggs and onions was delish! I have made this dish before with feta, but this soft cheese just added a whole lot to the texture and taste.

now, a good blogger would have taken pictures. yeah, that's what happens when you don't actually plan what you are going to write about until after the food is done!!

and some pictures - the kids were pretty tired this morning. ty was trying really hard to get nate out of my bed!!

oh, and I've been randomly trying to post that I've blogged on facebook. I am a bit unsure if this is a good idea or not, knowing my friend's list!! anyways, if you are stopping by and reading, feel free to leave a comment so I can see who my readers are!

xoxo

change!

and it's orange! LOVE!!!

head & shoulders knees & toes

so this blog post found me in my inbox this morning: summer mothering confessions. I don't read all my blog feeds everyday but I read this one today. and I think I need to master the art of taking a time out when I'm feeling overwhelmed with my kids. although I have shipped them off for the day, I am still not all in my reality. coming back from a mini-vacation has been brutal on my head. school ended two weeks ago and in those two weeks we've moved, started unpacking and I went to vegas for 5 days. so today, I get to breath.

I have a major writing assignment due tomorrow. two in fact. I have to write two devotionals for a christmas devotional book thing. I just don't have my groove! I started last night, in true cori fashion. had nothing to write. so this morning, if the rain holds out, I am going to go for a walk and spend some time thinking.

and then I need to find a 10" wide utensil holder because I want my utensils by my dishwasher and not on the other end of the kitchen. canadian tire, here I come!

oh, and a picture [just to brighten my wee blog!!!]

well, this is rare.

so ty is overtired tonight. has been all day. in his over-tiredness, he has had numerous tantrums. since I am so all about sticking to my guns [yeah, right!], I decided that his behaviour was completely unacceptable. kicking, hitting, punching and sassing the adults in your life [the adults that gave you life] is unacceptable. under the advice of a good friend, I went with the "time-out" approach. [and don't worry, this is the edited version of the story - there was a lot of screaming and crying and general mayhem along the way!] I hauled him up to his room and asked him quietly to get on to his bed for a time out. he said no. I closed the door. I sat in front of the door. he asked me to let him out. I said no. I asked him to go to his bed for his time out. he said no. this went on [with crying, screaming and chaos] for 45 minutes. and I sure held my ground. this was the hill to die on [and honestly, the hitting and kicking and later, the biting were totally a battle to take on]. however, after 45 minutes and a big welt on my arm, I realized that this kid is more stubborn than me. he can shut me down. now, being as tired as I am, I am surprised that I didn't cave earlier than I did. so I changed tactics and showed some grace. I opened the door just a little bit and offered to take him downstairs for supper. in doing that, he told me that he wishes we still lived at grandma's house. and that he had missed me when I was gone. and he sobbed. I will not excuse his nasty behaviour, trust me, it's NASTY. but, I understand that in that moment, my little boy was overtired, hungry and very sad. [he did eventually go into his time out on his own and said sorry].

then about an hour later, I went to get some groceries and coffee. and I had a realization. I am Ty. I am stubborn beyond measure. I scream and kick and hit and bite when I don't get my own way. I am self-centered and egotistical. and above all, I am in pain. my soul is sad. and my relationship with my little boy right now totally mirrors my relationship with God. and I am currently out of sorts and having a big-ass tantrum. and I am beginning to see my need for grace. and change. at 38 years old, it needs to stop being about me. my wants, my desires, me.

and this summer will need to be about that. about change. about being the person I have been created to be.

but I'm a bit freaked out. okay, honestly, a lot freaked out. but I suspect the end result may be good. and as a firm believer in hope, I'm okay with that.

life is a highway

so, it seems that I have a moment. wow!

I got back from my trip to vegas last night after a very, very long day [I'll tell all in a second...]; John & the boys picked me up from the airport close to midnight and so the boys are completely shattered and subsequently still sleeping [ohhh, big words AND alliteration...intentional? indeed!!]. the crummy part is that it wasn't planned that way at all.

we were suppose to be on a 7am flight out of LV, only to find out when we arrived off of our 4:25am shuttle, that the flight to minneapolis had been cancelled for mechanical reasons. me, in all my wonderfulness, thought that sleeping the night before would be pointless. so here we are, in the LV airport, finding out that we are on the next available flight at 3:15pm. in all fairness, I have only good things to say about the staff at delta. they were AMAZING. we were upgraded to first class on the first leg of our trip, we didn't pay for our luggage [so I checked the shoe bag!], we were given meal vouchers and a hotel voucher.

after a few more hurdles and meeting some other ladies from edmonton in the same boat, we found ourselves able to get some sleep in a hotel. a lovely hotel with a big tv [watched half the soccer game!] and chocolate chip cookies. NEEDLESS to say, there were some really lovely people along our little mis-adventure that made it all good in the end. we got to bypass the security line, got a lovely meal on the plane and free drinks...ALL GOOD! the 8 hour delay was not the best way to end a trip, but it certainly was interesting!

and now I am home and I can unpack my house. the boys and I are off to IKEA to buy some shelves and some lunch. the rain is making our house a mud pit. [oh, and yes, we are moved in to the new house...I'll post about that tomorrow!!]

oh mickey you're so fine...

this is going to be uber random. maybe I'll do the ol' list thing!

1. ty turns 5 next week. *shudder* seriously. I have a moment every time I think back to that day. I love that boy, I really do, but his birth story will turn anyone off birthing. that's why it's so wonderful that I teach sex ed this time of year!!

which brings me to...

2. my new favorite app. the hipstamatic. I LOVE the pictures this thing takes! I used it to take both of the above pictures. it has great finishes and frames. love the subject in those pictures and love the lens and the film that I chose!!

3. we are mere days from our final walk though on the new house. next week at this time I will have pictures of a finished house. YIPPIE!!

4. I was down 0.8lbs last week at weight watchers. not stellar. not awful. I had a moment of discouragement until I had four completely unrelated people ask me in the last three days if I've lost more weight. strange. very, very strange. I like strange.

5. one year ago I was in vegas. in one month I'll be in vegas. I like that. I have a big crush on vegas. she's my new best friend. a best friend with some great shopping deals. sweet!

6. soccer three times a week. I thought it may be crazy. it is. but I am officially one of those moms. the kind that has a lawn chair permanently stashed in her trunk and bug spray on the front seat. I love watching my kids play. ty is all elbows and nate is all skill.

7. I've survived over two weeks at my mom-in-laws. and really, there is very little to complain about.

8. I am not being a great teacher right now. I have students in such enormous pain and I am too tired to deal. I am too self absorbed right now to be all the things I usually am for them - teacher, counsellor, friend, mother...and before you all say "you shouldn't be doing all of that anyway", actually, I should. it's my calling. it's my gig. it's my thing. and I am not full enough to be all of that. perhaps "burnout" may be the word to describe things right now. I really don't like that word though...it's so cliche. so depressing. I'm just not full enough in my own heart and spirit to share with others. I need some refilling time. some time to care for my own soul. hard to do when I can't hear myself think.

9. I went to a wee coffee shop with some friends on saturday. it's called transend coffee. it's lovely.

10. this note made me smile today. the grade 9's that are leaving this year are the ones that stared in jr high at the same time I did. I really like them. I'm going to miss most of them. not all, most.

there. the randomness is done. off to check facebook!! [yeah, and now that I said it, you're going to check too...!!!]

this time tomorrow...

we got to do a walk through the new house today...just a little over one month!! WOOHOO!!

inside the new house - standing in the living room, looking at the kitchen!

below, the view of the front door...I am going to do a "hook" wall on that wall to the right [hang all sorts of hooks at different heights - I've been collecting some from anthropologie!! they have initials and pretty patterns on them!]

so we've officially moved out of the old house and are now living with John's mom. although the kids are having some adjustment problems, it's all going really well. the boys are not liking the 645 wake up time and the crawling in the door after soccer much later than normal [like almost 8pm]. three days a week we have a crazy schedule. add a haircut and a grade 9 farewell dinner this upcoming week and it's looking busy again!

so to add to my plate [or maybe to take care of myself in the midst of this chaos], I went back to weight watchers today. it had been over two months since I had last been, and the damage, although evident, was not as bad as I had anticipated. I was up 6 pounds. but, it being the first day of my cycle and having spent four hours last night eating [we were at the melting pot...YUMMY!], I'm not feeling too bad about it. and I set a goal for myself - that I would walk for 45 minutes at least 5 times this week. so today, I went on the treadmill at my mom & dad's for 45 minutes. it was good. I feel good. and maybe this time around, my behaviour needs to change before my attitude changes. I am not feeling all "rah-rah" about my life right now, but maybe I need to stop waiting to feel it and just do it. okay. so the kids are driving me nuts. it's 938 and they should be sleeping. grrr.

soccer

the theme song for the fifa world cup of soccer. it starts in a couple of weeks and we're excited to be watching and cheering for the netherlands. nate is pretty excited. I like being a soccer mom. I like bragging that my kid scored 8 goals the other night. ty was SOOOOOO proud of himself!! no mention of the fact that his opposing team basically stood still and picked grass!

and in other news, our house is in a storage container. todays load up went really well, but we're super tired. lots to do still tomorrow - but it has more to do about garbage. ick. LOL. off to get boys to bed. we're at my mom's house tonight [they're not home] and the kids are a bit out of sorts! alas, one month and it will all be good. sigh.

I'm super-duper. no really.

HA! it's wild and crazy here in the fraser household. SUPER NUTS! one more week and 80% of the moving will be done. if only I had no distractions and other things hitting my plate...uh-umm...nevermind. I'd still procrastinate. I may be a pro at moving [I own a saran wrapper thing AND two tape guns], but I am not really pro at handling my mouth. it's hard to keep it all in check when my head isn't in the game. and I've really mucked it up in the last few days. I've been judgmental. I've said one too many swear words in front of the kids. I've made promises that I've promptly forgotten about. I've missed appointments. I've taken out my frustration on people that really needed kind words. and in those moments, I've felt like I am 12 years old again. like a crazed, out of control pre-teenager. no wonder I am popping pepto every day to keep my stomach decent. sheesh. I think I may spend the weekend alone so I can stop having to apologize so much. now I just need to find some people to help us load up the pod. I hate asking. I have moved one too many times.

and in other news, I've had a good week. I ate smartly, did a couple walks, invited a couple of teenage girls for dinner on monday. yeah. three deaf teenagers in my house on monday for supper. it just doesn't ever get dull around here.

wish me luck.

come thou fount

o to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be

let thy grace now like a fetter bind my wandering heart to thee.

prone to wander, lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love

here's my heart, o take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above

I've often used the metaphor of the kite and the holder of the kite to describe my life and my relationship with John. I was this very airy-fairy, loose flying kite before I met him. he grabbed that string and has been holding on for dear life ever since. luckily for him, this crazy kite has stopped flying so out of control to the point where there is this syncopathy [yes, I made that word up]. this harmony. the problem is that I am getting restless. a bit more than I have been in a long, long time. I think this is for a couple of reasons - I've been in the same job description for 3 years [longer than any other time in my career]; this has been an enormously stressful spring and I haven't been able to have the same type of connection with my husband that I typically need [I need time with him - time without the stress of kids, time just hanging out]; we've bought a house [a terribly adult decision with very adult responsibilities]; nate's been out of sorts and I don't always like the kind of mom I am with him; ty's been generally sweet and wonderful and I feel guilty that I sometimes like him more than his brother [although I know this was not the case even six months ago when all roles were reversed]; I have fallen off the wagon with my diet & exercise and I really am not liking the extra-extra 10 pounds I have to loose to get back to where I was in october.

discontent. restless. unhappy? I really don't know. maybe stress is masking and morphing my emotions and my reality. I have no reason to be unhappy. I am uncertain though, and historically change brings out the crazy in me. so, this is me breathing deeply. enjoying the moment. loving that I got the phone call saying that we get possession of our new house a full 5 weeks earlier than expected. instead of stressing about all the details, I am going to enjoy this moment. the one where the holder of this crazy & the kite that gets to be held onto in a forever kind of way get to move into their very first house of their own. eeeeekkkkkk!!!

and in other news, I stayed within my points today. I made good nutritional choices. I walked for 50 minutes and included a significant hill. and tomorrow I will endeavor to do the same.

st veronika

so there has been a rampage of bowel illness in this house for the last two weeks. first it was ty [took a half day off for that extravaganza] and then it was nate's turn last weekend [a lovely combination festival] and then this weekend it was me. too good to be true. I don't get sick very often [other than the odd cold/sinus gig], but this was a bit icky. so much so that I stayed home from school today - 'cause ewww gross. the kids are still not 100% and neither am I, but since I now own pepto bismol in several varieties, I feel like I can confidently leave the house.

all that, and I had an epiphany today. during my slight bought of energy this afternoon, and knowing that I couldn't stray more than 10 metres from the toilet, I did some packing [only 2 more weeks, folks!]. during my packing, I tried on some clothes and got a nice look at myself in the mirror. all that work I did last year to remove some poundage from this body has got to s*it. okay, not all of it. I will be SHOCKED if I get on the scale tomorrow morning and see that awful number I saw 18 months ago, but it is not where it was in October when I had hit my 10% mark. so I did something radical. I took some pictures. now, I took the pictures and that was a HUGE step for me. I am not quite ready to post them. but, I am ready to do something about them.

and today, I started doing what I know works...eating less, moving more. I ate less [and yes, it totally helped that I was sick and had no appetite!] and I went for a 4o minute walk this evening. thank you, little pink pill! and although I have so little motivation coupled with an enormous amount of stress, I think I can do the same thing tomorrow. and then we'll try again for wednesday. if I don't, then that AWFUL number will show up on the scale yet again and then it will take a big ol' smack upside the head to get me moving again. I am going to beat this "no motivation" thing with a good healthy dose of perseverance. we'll see if it works for me.

theme song

what is the theme song of your life? and really, by life, I mean current life - let's be honest, one song cannot encompass an entire existence, can it? I rotate between a couple [currently]:

steal my kisses by ben harper

sorrow by bad religion

uprising by muse

gives you hell - the glee version!

just by titles alone, looks like I am going through some sort of emotional crisis!! more like I am listening to stuff that kicks some ass. I am rather tired of feeling old. and boring [okay, I don't really believe that I'm boring]. I just feel rather blah. icky. not myself. what does this do with having a soundtrack? well sometimes I think that when you change the recording in your head, it can change your attitude. a change in attitude can change behaviour. I need a behaviour/attitude change. I need a bit more zing. I need to give more hell.

oh, and here's the latest house picture - taken on sunday! we have full-on siding and it's continuing to look more and more like a real house!! LOVE THAT!

what are the tunes playing in your head?

if you're happy and you know it...

so, I had big plans to show you updated pictures of the new house and for some reason they disappeared. if I can get that all sorted before I'm done this post, I'll show ya! apparently, they are still a month ahead of schedule - which I think is a good thing. we are here in this current house for the next few weeks, but it's going to be CHAOS between now and then. in addition to soccer three nights a week, we've starting packing. I figure if I give it a go every second night or so, then it should be done in no time. the hard part is that we are going to live with John's mom for about 6 weeks. figuring out what to take with us could be the interesting bit. part of me just wants to take my entire closet. and I may just do that. I like having choice. I think I'll be okay with the kids stuff - all their toys are coming to grandma's and I did a huge purge of their clothes last month, so everything that is in their drawers is coming with us. I think it's just all the coordinating that may kill me. I just keep trying to remember that in less than 3 months, we'll be in our own house. sigh.

then just to put me in my place, last night was puke-o-rama at our house. oh, good times. good. times. as poor nate sat on the toilet with his puke bucket in hand, I had to have a wee laugh about why I look so tired all the time. I have small children. they puke. they poo. they make messes. they are the reason for the stretch marks and the laugh lines. they are the reason I don't always have time to make calls at the end of the day or blog. but, I get to go to soccer games and laugh at my kid wearing plaid pants, socks and sandals. and at the end of the day, especially on nights where bed time is not a fight, I am just grateful. remind me of this on those other days...please?

still no picture. the email is just not coming through.